MovieChat Forums > Hilary and Jackie (1999) Discussion > Hilary did not give Jackie everything

Hilary did not give Jackie everything

posted 19 years ago by littlefaith
6 replies | jump to latest

I wanted to post this remark, because after reading various comments by viewers stating that they thought this movie was too biased and portrayed things too much from the point-of-view of Hilary, I felt a need to respond. I think that the elements that made Jackie a sympathetic figure were all there in the movie. I think of Hilary as less of a saint than someone who just didn't know what to do. For all that the sisters were supposed to be "telepathic", it's obvious that there was a huge disconnect in terms of understanding each other as soon as Jackie was whisked away to play on tour. Hilary says at one point, "I gave you everything", but in fact, she did not give Jackie her self, which is all that Jackie really wanted. It's not her husband that Jackie really desired, but a permanent place in her sister's life. Jackie spent her youth trying to catch up to her sister, so she could stay with her. But then she sped up so much that she passed up Hilary, and so she still lost her.

[–] drichards1 19 years ago

You make a very convincing statement. I do agree that the movie makes both sisters sympathetic characters in their own ways. However, I think that it also does a great job of portraying sibling rivalry. If things in fact happened as they are portrayed on-screen, then Jackie seemed to me to desire happiness and contentment, things she didn't have despite her fame and celebrity.

Regardless, I first saw the movie about a year ago, and was more moved by this film than I had been in a long time. I basically rented it because I have become a great admirer of Emily Watson's acting talent, and the same can now be said for Rachel Griffiths. I would love to see them make another movie together.

[–] suzylux-1 15 years ago

You've said it perfectly; the first time someone has nailed what the film is really about and what the nature of their relationship is really about, and that is of soulmates. Your last sentence especially nails it.

[–] littlefaith 10 years ago

Thanks, Suzy! Amazing how we can have conversations over time and space on imdb.

Be kind. -- Holy Smoke

[–] starline 14 years ago

" Hilary says at one point, "I gave you everything", but in fact, she did not give Jackie her self, which is all that Jackie really wanted. It's not her husband that Jackie really desired, but a permanent place in her sister's life. Jackie spent her youth trying to catch up to her sister, so she could stay with her. But then she sped up so much that she passed up Hilary, and so she still lost her. "

But that's all part of growing up. You move away from your childhood family... and focus on your 'own' family.

Although Jackie never seemed to 'grow-up'... she remained immature and unappreciative. She didn't seem to recognize any of the good things in her life.

And Hilary WAS there for Jackie. She always available to jackie.

It IS a sad story...with a sad ending... so one does feel empathy for jackie... but before jackie got sick...are you sure that's all jackie wanted? Hilary's attention? I think she wanted hilary's life.

It's not like it was always easy for hilary... she had a somewhat 'invisible' childhood. I didn't see anyone doting on her. Was jackie simply SO spoiled... since she got all the attention as a child... that she demanded attention as an adult too? Did she think she should be the one to have 'everything'? Did she feel 'competitive' with hilary... and jackie wanted to be the 'winner'? Did she feel she 'deserved' to win over hilary?

How sad it would have been if someone so special as kiffer... hadn't come into hilary's life...making her feel special too.

I realize that jackie was not happy... that she was literally sick...and tired of performing...being on the road...and having no stable family life. So she was envious of hilary's simple, rooted, loving family-life. But if Jackie just wanted hilary's time-n-attention...why did she ask something SO personal from hilary...as to ask for hilary's husband? And then flaunt it in hilary's face...and pout about it later? And then make a joke of it to her friend... when hilary came to visit? Hurting-n-embarrassing hilary.

Jackie HAD to know this strange situation could totally hurt their sisterly relationship...and their friendship. WHY ask that if she wanted to be 'closer' to hilary? WAS it jackie's purpose TO actually hurt hilary? Why would she want to hurt her? Because she felt hilary hadn't been all that jackie Expected from her? You just don't ask for something like THAT from a friend or a sister...or anyone really. Hilary had to be bright enough to know that. So WAS it completely out of spite and jealousy?

Or was it all about the husbands? It seemed like jackie didn't really love danny that much... maybe in part because danny didn't seem to love her like kiffer loved hilary. If youthful-jackie had had a husband who was playful... and adored her like kiffer... and she adored him back...I don't think she would have wanted as much from hilary. Jackie would have been too busy with her own happy relationship. But since her marriage wasn't like hilary's... and since jackie really wanted someone like kiffer for herself...she asked for him.

The thing is... jackie's husband DID seem to care about her. Work was obviously his passion... but he offered to settle on a farm near hilary...for jackie's sake. But jackie refused him. And she refused him intimacy too... choosing hilary's husband instead. When danny came to her...after she ran away...she spit in his face and refused to talk to him. So Childish! (Did he know jackie slept with kiffer?)

But even after that... danny still seemed to care about jackie...because he was there for her till the end. He never completely abandoned her like a callous, uncaring husband might do. (If the situation had been reversed...and danny had been sick...would jackie have been 'there' for him? I kinda doubt it)

I think Hilary DID give Jackie everything. Especially since she did give jackie her husband. And to a family woman like Hilary...who had little else... that would 'feel' like everything.

But seriously...why did hilary have to be the strong one ...the giving one?(Before the illness) They were practically the same age. What did jackie EVER 'give' to hilary? What did she ever do for hilary? How was jackie ever there FOR hilary? It seemed like a very lop-sided relationship...hilary trying to please...and jackie just acting spoiled-n-spiteful... taking total advantage of her sister. So sad.

Lovely film though. Very sad...but great performances. And gorgeous too... with it's 'rich' colors ...and beautiful sets-n-scenery. And that wonderful music too. Very Good all the way around! :)

[–] rachelpendle25 14 years ago

I agree with a lot of what Starline says. Jackie wasvery worldly but very very immature IMO and how self indulgent she was about love really showed it. Love is not something that has to be proved by what one can give but their has to be an amount of acceptance. Like acceptance of someone boundaries. It also shows respect. Instead of questioning whether Hilary showed all her love for Jackie how about if Jackie ever showed respect for Hilary. She demanded her husband and her life and then mocked her and humilated her about it. There was no respect there.

[–] mocknbird2-1 13 years ago

I think this commenter, "Starline" (sigh), fails to remember who wrote this story. Of course Hilary, being the author, as she is, like most people, going to frame the story with her being the sympathetic, give everything and receive little in return character.
I imagine if the story had been written by Jackie, the story would have a whole different take on it all.
Also seems like a couple of these comments are based and filtered too strongly through the commenter's own sibling/family experiences.

Also, can't help but think about the comment, "But that's all part of growing up. You move away from your childhood family... and focus on your 'own' family."
In a day and age where half of all marriages end in divorce,(remember, many of those failed marriages are not the first marriage for all too many people, and|AND not everyone has children), one's childhood family is often the only family many of us will ever know. This may be hard to understand for those lucky few who stay with one spouse their whole life(like my spoiled little brother whose had one wife as opposed to my one marriage, two engagements and one long term SO.) Okay, so I'm not without my own experiential filters. ; )