I love Postman Pat, and this thing cracks me up. Postman Pat was so well behaved, he was screaming for a parody.
Beofre the dubbing, the best thing anyone could come up with was the primary school version of Pat's theme song, where the words were changed a bit. I'm sure you all did it too: "Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat ran over his cat Poor old Jess was dying, all the kids were crying..."
"Postman Pat, Postman Pat Postman Pat ran over his cat Poor old Jess was dying, And all the kids were crying..." I haven't heard the "primary school version of Postman Pat," but the first few lines you posted were hilarious, can you tell me how the rest goes?