Are we supposed to like Kat?


I found it surprising how unlikable one of the main characters was made out to be.
I mean, Kat is presented as a bad-ass, rebellious rock'n'roll, feminist, left-wing chick with a ''don't give a *beep* attitude at the beginning right? but in fact, as the movie went on she was just being rude and boring for no apparent reason. She is in fact just a normal suburban chick with daddy-issues.

When we get the whole explanation or reason later in the movie for her acting the way she did in that scene where she's talking to Bianca in her room, it just seems really small and self-centered. So a guy in high school who's clearly a dorky jock type dumps you after you don't have sex with him again? Whoa, like that hasn't happened to anybody else. Seriously it happens at like every high school to A LOT of girls, and guys as well, it's nothing new. We've all had boyfriends/girlfriends who were selfish.

So this is why she chose to never conform ever again and not ''do things because other people are doing them'' and decided to rebel against the high school social standards! and read Sylvia Plath! My good lord.

I've seen people commenting on how she was not shallow and didn't judge people and had a lot of personality? Yeah, but she had an fairly unlikable personality, she wasn't a cool, bad-ass rock chick, she was just rude. It was just a shallow fake image/fashion to which she conformed to, to try to piss off her dad and sister. She was actually just a shallow and narrow-minded person who decided that people around her were not worthy of her attention.

Are we supposed to like her? Am I missing something?

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couldnt agree more! and to answer you, unfortunately yes.

Kat and characters like her (which are SO common!) are so overrated and overused. what is admirable about (as Joey said) someone so bitter and self righteous? people who are obsessed with "shocking" people with their pseudo "rebellious" and pseudointellectual stuff ("I listen to Bikini Kill, and I eat tofu. I'm a UNIQUE rebel!") are obnoxious and as bad if not worse than the people they constantly accuse of being shallow/conformists. plus, it's "cool" to be a feminazi, a fake rebel "shocker", etc.

it's also annoying that people act like Kat is so great when she wont even ever admit her attitude is wrong- we're supposed to find her a strong, intelligent nonconformist feminist role model. However, Bianca in the end knows her attitude was wrong and is still probably the most disliked character, and goes out of her way for her sister (punching however was not the way to go but whatever). what does Kat ever do for her? besides tell Joey to stay away from Bianca (which could have meant, stay away from her so I dont have to see you at our house and annoy me further).

"I do pretend I am a princess, so that I can try and behave like one."

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Hold on- bianca is in on the plan for someone to be paid to take her sister out?
She rifles through her drawers?
She speaks horribly to her?
She doesn't warn her it's all a trick?

How is bianca the nice one???

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I found it surprising how unlikable one of the main characters was made out to be.
Well 10 Things I Hate About You is loosely based off of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew.... Kat is the shrew. She is supposed to be unlikable.

So a guy in high school who's clearly a dorky jock type dumps you after you don't have sex with him again? Whoa, like that hasn't happened to anybody else. Seriously it happens at like every high school to A LOT of girls, and guys as well, it's nothing new. We've all had boyfriends/girlfriends who were selfish.
So because it isn't a unique situation means that Kat isn't allowed to be hurt by it? She had sex with a guy she really liked (since they were dating), realized she wasn't ready to do it again, and because of that he broke up with her, which basically tells her he never actually liked her, just the prospect of sex.

So this is why she chose to never conform ever again and not ''do things because other people are doing them'' and decided to rebel against the high school social standards! and read Sylvia Plath! My good lord.
I don't see the problem here. She was peer-pressured into doing something she wasn't ready for, then was dropped by her boyfriend when she told him she didn't want to have sex anymore... she came to realize she didn't like the world she was a part of and didn't like the people she was surrounding herself with. That's actually a good thing for someone to realize. I hope to instill in my children the sense that they shouldn't "do things just because other people are doing them."

Yeah, but she had an fairly unlikable personality
That is why she is the "shrew"

She was actually just a shallow and narrow-minded person who decided that people around her were not worthy of her attention.
Then she develops into a better person.

Are we supposed to like her? Am I missing something?
No, you aren't supposed to like her. Not at the beginning. She is the shrew.

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She is a strong character compared to her sister who is only being who everyone wants her to be right??
Where as Kat is strong and has good moral standards and is strong minded alot of women are like that and i feel alot of people follow the herd and Kat didn't which made me like her as a character
Her rudeness hmmm It was just her being a teenager, the crashing of the car I mean Joey just kept on winding her up all the time wasn't it enough dumping her he didn't have to rub it in Day and night


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great answer. And good explainations. I agree with this answer completely.

And just for the record, I LIKED KAT. Not only did Julia styles play the part perfectly but she became my favorite actress after this movie. I loved Kat from the very beginning. I admired Kat for being strong enough to go against the norms. I hated her sister. She had no depth, was shallow and a crowd follower. But she changes at the end and recognizes true love. I also give 10 points for punching the douchebag at the end.

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I agree- I didn't really see any 'shrewishness' tbh. Don't think 'taming of the shrew' would really stand up nowadays. Because a woman is strong and independent she has to be tamed?!?

I liked Kat all along. Couldn't stand bianca tho.

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I know I'm probably in the minority. But I actually like Kat. To me, she's a thousand times better and more interesting than her airhead, cutsey, perky, crowd-following sister.

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well said __

:)

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did you guys, like, not watch the movie? Bianca is the one who changes. Hating her is so lazy and shallow. Kat has no morals, she is just another small minded, selfish poser who thinks she's too good for eveyrone else. She doesnt change at all. The only difference is she gets a boyfriend.

I'd rather befriend Bianca. she was nice in the end and was *actually* strong enough to change because she realised she was wrong. Kat would always argue and nitpick me for no reason other than no one can achieve the same level of perfect her shallow conformist butt can. She's about as much of shocking rebel as Lady Gaga is. she's like a 90s hipster.

Though you're dressed in rags, you wear an air of queenly grace

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Bianca wouldn't changed if it wasn't for Kat though
Kat helped her alot
Kat only acted that way because people were treating her bad

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The main reason why I like Kat is the fact that she's honest. At least she's not afraid to speak her mind and tell the truth, even if you don't want to hear it ... which is more than what I can say for Bianca before she changed. Bianca is a very fake person at the beginning. She comes across as someone who will say something nice, without actually meaning it. I don't like fake people.

"Never mind walking a mile in my shoes. Try thinking a day in my head."

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Yes!

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I completely agree with you thefrostmuse. Very well said.

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Kat was meant to be disagreeable, and whether she was annoying is really up to you. She went to great lengths to be unlikeable and such, because she thought there was something wrong with how she was expected to act.

She was expressing herself because her dad was controlling, to the max, and so is society, and after she had sex she felt as though it wasn't her choice and she had lost some autonomy - which is something that a guy is never expected to feel. So like she said in the movie - she decided never to do anything for anyone else ever again - which is the insecurity that Bianca never had in the face of sexism.

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Don't forget her mom left around the same time as Joey incident. Kat was a shrew with her walls and defenses up at all times but at the end she showed how vulnerable she really was by reciting her poem and crying. She was also a teenager and a lot of teens think they're the sh!t at that age. I really liked Kat and Bianca because they both grew as characters and you can see by the end that they appreciate each other.

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How anyone could like someone who enjoys reading anything that communist Simone de Beauvoir wrote is beyond me. Kat Stratford was a perfect distillation of every negative feminazi attribute imaginable.

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You really have no experience with real femi nazis do you? We have a local one in Sweden who wrote a poem about how she wants to cut the penises of all men just because we are men. That's feminazism. Kat is just your garden variety highschool leftish girl, nothing extreme with her at all.

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There are different degrees of feminazism. Sweden is definitely among the worst though.

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Yes there is but I don't agree with your definition,

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I really don't care.

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Of course you aren't supposed to like her. She's a militant feminist. I have a hard time thinking up a more detestable character trait.

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Assuming you aren't trolling...you clearly aren't thinking hard enough then

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Care to elaborate?

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Maybe you've just had unpleasant experiences with mainstream feminism, but there is literally nothing inherently bad about its central goal – justice for a less privileged group. Misogyny is still around even if it's not overt, similar to how racism isn't over just because Obama's president. Just google it, the examples are endless. And before you mention "female superiority," no decent feminist actually hates men because they are men, they hate men as an institution that oppresses women. Plus saying "I hate men" is often easier than saying "my best friend/relative/etc. is horribly sexist." Greed, pride, selfishness, bigotry...now those are detestable traits.

As for the film, the OP is pretty much on point. I thought Kat was supposed to be unlikable at the start because she could be pretentious (like in a misanthropic hipster sort of way) and sometimes cruel, not because she was a feminist. Like others have said, her change in becoming more humble and warm-hearted was her development as a character. She still holds on to her identity though. There's nothing at the end to indicate that she stopped liking Sylvia Plath or those female indie bands she listened to or whatever.

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So feminism is about justice for a less privileged group, eh? Privilege like, compulsory registration for the national draft, stricter sentences for the same crime, lower college attendance and graduation rates, making up the overwhelming majority of homeless people and suicides, always being blamed for domestic violence, being the victims of murders and violent crime vastly more often than the other sex, rarely getting child custody after divorce/break-up and then having to endure 20 years of indentured servitude the whole time else face debtor's prison (which is illegal in all cases except for child support, for some reason), as well as a host of other things I will leave out for fear of this becoming a novel? That kind of privilege? Yeah, it really sucks that women have to deal with all of that. Oh wait, it's not women who have to deal with that - it's men! By the way, reproductive issues tend to be one of the hot button issues for feminists, yet how many reproductive options are available for men? Not very many, that's for sure.

Don't get me wrong here. I'm not saying that men are really oppressed either (although I will say I think that they are more "oppressed" than women are. In fact, I would argue that Western women are the most privileged group ever to walk the Earth). I'm just trying to illustrate the fact that men have PLENTY of issues of their own that feminism has historically proven to be 100% uninterested in at best (or outright fought against at worst!), and then feminists wonder why so many guys think that they are man-haters! So much for "equality".

Now in matters of law, women have every single right that men have. I challenge you to name one single little law that points to female oppression.

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Pretty much all of those things you listed are examples of the consequences of enforcing gender roles...which affect women as well. I'm not saying that these issues are in any way okay, but compulsory registration, for instance, has a long history caused by enforced perceptions of masculinity. The idea that women are naturally better caregivers is also caused by these perceptions and explains the issues with child custody and productive rights. Same with the stricter sentences, caused by the notion that men are naturally aggressive. I admit I don't know what causes the lower college attendance and graduation rates. Mental illness, addiction, and disability are common characteristics among homeless men, so take that into account. The higher suicide rate for men is due to the fact that men tend to choose more "reliable" methods like hanging, firearms etc. while women are more likely to choose suicide by overdosing and so on. More women actually attempt suicide than men do.

I would argue that Western women are the most privileged group ever to walk the Earth


They do uphold a certain amount of privilege, yes (cough Gwyneth Paltrow cough), especially when you take in other factors such as whiteness. But not for their gender.

I'm just trying to illustrate the fact that men have PLENTY of issues of their own that feminism has historically proven to be 100% uninterested in at best (or outright fought against at worst!)


No one's denying that men have their fair share of problems. The problem I see is that men only ever bring these topics up when it's to DERAIL a discussion about feminism. Just because a group chooses to focus on the issues that affect them doesn’t mean the other group doesn’t have problems. It’s like saying supporting the poor means you think rich people can’t have any problems whatsoever. A person's time and effort is finite. One movement can’t change everything, and so-called "men's rights activists" need to listen and work together with feminists and stop intentionally shouting over their voices. It's not a contest.

Can I ask exactly how feminism has harmed the quest for men to resolve their issues? Feminism usually benefits men in unexpected ways anyway, in breaking down gender roles, reproductive control, making the idea of the stay-at-home dad possible. I do recall a recent event about a feminist group petitioning to redefine the legal definition of rape so that male survivors in someplace can receive justice, but I can’t find the source at the moment, sorry. But even if feminists did nothing to help men, what is the problem with that? As long as it does not harm them in their fight (which healthy feminism should do), no one loses.

Now in matters of law, women have every single right that men have. I challenge you to name one single little law that points to female oppression.


It’s not so much about laws anymore (at least in the U.S. and Canada) as it is about opportunities and the right to be heard. In Canada where I live (I don’t know about the U.S. but I’m guessing the Senate numbers are far from equal) men make up 75% of the Parliament members. The vast majority of rape victims are female and the vast majority of perpetrators male. The wage gap which I’m sure you’ve heard so much about. CEOs? Mostly men. Incidents like that Daniel Tosh rape joke a few years back and the number of people who defended him. And if you’re poor or disabled or a person of colour like me...well... The list goes on.

Tl;DR: Yes, females face greater oppression than males. No, that does not make the concerns of men any less valid. A lot of their issues are caused by gender roles, and some feminists seek to dismantle these roles. If a half-decent male really wanted to bring attention to men’s issues, they would do it without playing the oppression Olympics card and derailing conversations on feminism, and it would be helpful to actually team up with feminists to break down a system formed on gender roles together.

Sorry this is so long, I’m not the best at articulating myself, nor am I an expert on the subject. I hope I got the message across, though.

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First of all, I knew that you were going to blame patriarchy on all of those things I listed above. It's pretty much the go-to feminist deflection. Patriarchy or not, feminists are mysteriously silent when it comes to any of those things. When was the last time you heard a mainstream feminist speaking out against no-fault divorce, or the mother as default child custody arrangements? When was the last time you heard one condemn the false rape allegations that have been in the media? When have they castigated the judge who sentenced Wendy Winkler, who shot her husband in the back of the head with a shotgun, to 3 years in prison (many similar examples available)? When have you heard of one condemning the huge discrepancies in sentences for women convicted of statutory rape? Never, that's when. If the pendulum was swung the other way they would be crying from the rooftops and lobbying their politicians, etc. Feminists want to have their cake and eat it too, and will only fight for "equality" when it is beneficial to them. I have NEVER heard of a mainstream feminist who has fought for equality in any area that is detrimental to women.

Hey, feminists always trot out the "dictionary definition" of feminism, that of working for equality between the sexes, but reality proves their words hollow.

But not for their gender.


I absolutely disagree, unless you think that women getting off light in court, usually getting primary custody of children, not having to register for the draft, benefiting from affirmative action, having substantially longer lifetimes, etc. has nothing to do with their sex.

No one's denying that men have their fair share of problems. The problem I see is that men only ever bring these topics up when it's to DERAIL a discussion about feminism... One movement can’t change everything, and so-called "men's rights activists" need to listen and work together with feminists and stop intentionally shouting over their voices. It's not a contest.


First of all, I'm not an MRA. I'm a libertarian and an anti-feminist. I think that the government should get out of the business of gender identity politics altogether and stop trying to pick the winners and the losers.

That said, you think that MRA's should work with feminists in order to get things done? Feminists like these:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iARHCxAMAO0

or this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gB0XweIE5s

Keep in mind that for the first link, these feminists were protesting a seminar being given by Warren Farrell on the topic of male suicide. Those wanting to attend were shamed, called *beep* scum", urged to embrace feminism instead of finding their own way to address their problems, called rapists and rape apologists, and this kind of stuff goes on all the time, particularly on the internet.

As for how feminism has harmed men, how about in bringing to pass the Violence Against Women Act, that called for the "primary aggressor" in DV situations to be automatically arrested, and how "primary aggressor" was defined so as to almost always target the man, despite women being just as likely to be an abuser as men are? I would recommend listening to some of the words of Erin Pizzey (you can find her on YouTube) who founded the very first women's shelter in Britain. For daring to speak out in favor of men, she was issued death threats and threats of firebombings against her and her family. Who were these monsters threatening her? Feminists, that's who. And even today, feminists completely shun her as a gender-traitor.

Or how about in treating masculinity in young boys as a pathology to be suppressed with drugs? How about Jessica Valentis, who is one of the most popular feminists on the internet, calling for men to be considered guilty until proven innocent regarding any accusation of rape? Then we can always get into Affirmative Action and Title IX which are zero sum issues that undeservedly impact men negatively. I could go on, but this is getting long.

I do recall a recent event about a feminist group petitioning to redefine the legal definition of rape so that male survivors in someplace can receive justice


I have never, ever heard of any feminist organization trying to get the definition of rape changed so as to include female perpetrators against men, and I try to stay on the pulse of these kinds of issues. I would love to be proved wrong though.

In Canada where I live (I don’t know about the U.S. but I’m guessing the Senate numbers are far from equal) men make up 75% of the Parliament members.


This has nothing to do with opportunity. It is a fact that very few women go into politics relative to men. Any woman who wants to be a Senator or run for Parliament is free to do so. Furthermore, women outnumber men, so if women are losing elections to men then you can point your fingers squarely at your sisters and blame them, instead of some ethereal patriarchy holding you down.

CEO's? Mostly men


Businesses are in the business of making money, and they will appoint a CEO who best represents a likely ROI for their shareholders.

....wage gap...


I could write an entire treatise on this subject. Suffice it to say that the wage gap is mythological. While yes, there is a discrepancy between what men are paid in relation to women overall, this is due to a host of factors that have nothing to do with discrimination.

For example, men are more likely to be willing to travel, work more hours, work in more dangerous conditions, work nights, sacrifice personal liberties in order to advance their career, work in the hard sciences and engineering, and sacrifice benefits for more pay.

Meanwhile,women tend to value flexibility over pay rate so don't like to travel or work overtime, they tend to work in safer office jobs or in the soft sciences and humanities, they tend to take time off for maternity, and sacrifice pay in favor of benefits.

When factors such as these are taken into account, the pay gap shrinks to virtually nothing. Something like 2 or 3%, which is within the statistical margin for error, and even if it exists it still isn't necessarily due to gender discrimination.

I could go on longer, but I will cut it off here as this post is going on too long.

Sorry this is so long, I’m not the best at articulating myself, nor am I an expert on the subject. I hope I got the message across, though.


Think nothing of it. I don't mind the lengthy posts. As you can see, mine is lengthy too. Better to talk at length and get your point across than keep it brief and leave it a mystery.

edit: also, please keep in mind that in my first post I specified "militant" feminists. I fully acknowledge that there are some feminists out there who are pleasant people, despite my fundamental disagreement with their politics. Feminists like Kat Stratford, on the other hand, are the kind of people rightly labeled as Feminazis. As we all know, there are very good reasons why everyone in her school hated her and why she was associated with "The Shrew".

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It's pretty much the go-to feminist deflection.


Because that's what feminism is about. Dismantling the patriarchy.

When was the last time you heard one condemn the false rape allegations that have been in the media?


False rape accusations are the exception, not the norm. That is not to say they shouldn't be taken seriously, but is it that hard to believe that feminists would want to focus on an issue that primarily affects them? An issue that many have experienced firsthand?

I admit I did not know about the Mary Winkler case and cannot comment on that.

Feminists want to have their cake and eat it too, and will only fight for "equality" when it is beneficial to them. I have NEVER heard of a mainstream feminist who has fought for equality in any area that is detrimental to women.


Because they wouldn't be feminists? If you fight for something that harms and oppresses women, you're not a feminist. Feminists focus on helping women...because it's in the very definition of being one. Just because they don't campaign for something that they don't have firsthand experience with doesn't mean they're actively blocking it. I am going to quote someone else here: "Men, not women, need to be the ones creating the spaces to discuss men’s issues." You could JUST as easily make an argument for the idea that MRAs only fight for equality when it benefits men.

I absolutely disagree...

None of those are actual examples of privilege, just ways that gender roles have backfired on men.
Getting off light in court - gender stereotypes caused by the idea that men are naturally aggressive and women passive. Put in place by men.
Usually getting primary custody of children - gender stereotypes caused by the idea that women are naturally better caregivers
Not having to register for the draft - gender stereotypes caused by the idea that men have an obligation to take on these positions of strength, that women are not capable of doing it well. This non-requirement was put in place by men.
Longer life expectancy - this isn't even related to anything we're discussing, it is due to a myriad of biological factors. As for suicide, I already covered that.
Affirmative action is more than about "giving women special treatment," it's there to reverse the damage done by the systems that disadvantaged women in the past. Seeing as women aren't exactly coming out on top in traditionally male-dominated professions today, I don't see the problem.

Feminists like these:


No, they shouldn't have thrown insults toward the guys attending especially when many of them were dealing with topics as sensitive as suicide. But do you expect them to just do nothing when so many people support an organization (the Men's Issues Awareness Society) that writes about "positive experiences" with incest and says if a woman says "no" to sex but is still willing to kiss/engage in other physical affection, it's okay to have sex with her (read: rape) anyway? What's worse, calling others rape apologists or supporting a group that includes actual rape apologists? As for the second video, okay, she said the word "patriarchy" a lot, there's no saying she wouldn't be able to go into more in-depth discussion. It's just that she's making a general rant and not talking to any individual in particular, and repetition + a commanding tone helps to draw attention...I really don't see the point you're making here.

For daring to speak out in favor of men, she was issued death threats and threats of firebombings against her and her family. Who were these monsters threatening her? Feminists, that's who.


No one deserves what she got (I did some googling and I can't actually find any source that confirms the claims of bomb threats that aren't written by Pizzey herself...if you can find a link, please share it), but let's not pretend that rape and death threats aren't also hurled at feminists on a daily basis...mostly by MEN. (Also, building the first women's shelter doesn't erase the fact that Pizzey has spread some very toxic, misogynistic ideas involving victim-blaming: calling women who enter abusive relationships "addicts of violence," saying "Men in white coats should have been called. That's what I call "orgasmic rage," she's getting off on it. It's sad" regarding a rape victim. That is why feminists don't like her. Not because she supports male survivors.)

I did not know about the Jessica Valentis thing. What I do agree with (which I think is what she was trying to say here, just in a...broader, controversial statement) is that rape culture needs to be taken seriously and that the voices of rape victims should not be silenced.

I have never, ever heard of any feminist organization trying to get the definition of rape changed so as to include female perpetrators against men


http://feminist.org/nomoreexcuses/rapeisrape.asp
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/20/fbi-rape-definition-oudated_n _1021738.html

work in the hard sciences and engineering...tend to take time off for maternity


I understand this is true, and I admit I'm no expert on this issue, but most of those examples (these two in particular) are consequences of enforced gender roles, which were put in place by men.

Furthermore, women outnumber men, so if women are losing elections to men then you can point your fingers squarely at your sisters and blame them, instead of some ethereal patriarchy holding you down.


Fewer women go into these professions because of traditional gender roles dictating that men make better leaders. Instead of blaming all women for not fighting a battle that they are not obliged to (going into politics, I mean), it makes sense to uncover the cause behind it and work to abolish these ideas. Gender roles may not be the only factor, but I doubt the highly disproportionate ratio is there purely because women "aren't as interested" in politics. Not to mention the discrimination behind the scenes, in workplaces dominated by men. So in short, yes, the patriarchy is a problem here.

also, please keep in mind that in my first post I specified "militant" feminists.


Then why do you proclaim yourself an anti-feminist in general? Feminism isn't made of just one ideology agreed upon by every person in the movement. The different types of feminists will hold arguments with each other that can get just as heated as those with anti-feminists.

Feminists like Kat Stratford, on the other hand, are the kind of people rightly labeled as Feminazis.


Not only is "feminazi" a word used to scare people off from even considering feminism, it's just offensive on every level. Using a word associated with the genocide of millions of people to describe a social justice movement is insulting to those who have lost family members from the atrocities. Please be respectful.

Yes Kat was overly abrasive and didn't know the time and place to discuss social justice (going on about why they can't read books by female in that classroom scene, for example). But I think the film makes it clear that her social beliefs themselves are NOT the reason she is considered "the shrew." Read some of the other posts in this thread. She is unlikable because she has a self-righteous attitude and lashes out at others for doing whatever is popular. As I said before, there is nothing that suggests she changes her feminist beliefs in the end when she has been "tamed."

P.S. I enjoy having this discussion as I am learning new things as well but my replies may be delayed from now on as I am having a pretty busy week and trying to limit my time online. Hope you understand.

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False rape accusations are the exception, not the norm. That is not to say they shouldn't be taken seriously, but is it that hard to believe that feminists would want to focus on an issue that primarily affects them? An issue that many have experienced firsthand?


The thing is that this is a completely unverifiable claim. We can bring out the law enforcement statistics all we want, but the fact remains that unless the accuser recants, a man who is serving time for a rape he didn't commit can easily find himself serving his entire sentence as well as dealing with the stigma that comes of being a rapist for the rest of his life. How do we know how common false rape allegations are when there are absolutely men who were falsely accused who are not being counted because they were convicted?

Take this story, for example:

http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/12/10/rape-conviction-overturne d-in-manhattan/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0

This poor guy did absolutely nothing wrong, but he was convicted of rape on absolutely nothing but this evil woman's word. No DNA, nothing. The ONLY reason he is not still rotting in prison is because the priest she confessed to urged her to admit her crime to the police. I don't find it difficult to believe that the vast majority of false rape accusers never admit to their lie, especially when they make accusations for reasons such as the following:

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/372804/Trainee-lawyer-crie d-rape-ELEVEN-times-to-get-out-of-final-exams

This "lady" decided that her education was getting in the way of her social life, so she accused her boyfriend of repeatedly raping her and murdering her unborn child so that she could get an extension on her final exams. Let's let that sink in a little bit... He was in jail for a MONTH before being let out, during which time he almost certainly was fired from his job. Yeah, he was released, that's great. But he just as easily could have been convicted.

My point is that A) women will lie about rape for the most trivial of reasons, and B) men can be convicted of rape based on the flimsiest of evidence - or even no evidence at all!, leading to C) we have absolutely no way of quantifying how common false rape allegations and convictions are. I do think it's safe to say that it's far more common than most people believe possible.

But do you expect them to just do nothing when so many people support an organization (the Men's Issues Awareness Society) that writes about "positive experiences" with incest and says if a woman says "no" to sex but is still willing to kiss/engage in other physical affection, it's okay to have sex with her (read: rape) anyway?


I have never heard of any MRA talking about the beauties of incest. However, if you are referring to Warren Farrell and a certain quote from his book, you have to make sure you keep it in context. He was not saying that incest is good. Further, when he wrote that particular book, he was considered a very hardcore feminist.

As for the second video, okay, she said the word "patriarchy" a lot, there's no saying she wouldn't be able to go into more in-depth discussion...I really don't see the point you're making here.


No, she actually is talking to someone in particular. Well, talking AT him is a more precise description. My point was that she was not interested at all in "working with" other people. It is her way or the highway and if you don't agree with her then she has no problems running you over. That is an attitude that is VERY common among feminists.

I did some googling and I can't actually find any source that confirms the claims of bomb threats that aren't written by Pizzey herself.


I'm not certain what you would consider a confirmation. A police report? I'm not certain if any such thing exists. However, I don't really see why she would have had any motive to lie. She was essentially forced out of her own organization for her claims, an organization which now spans Europe and takes in millions every year. As for the "victim blaming", I'm sorry, but victim blaming sometimes has a place. It is simply factual that many women are drawn to abusive relationships. I've seen it first hand. And no, feminists actually did and do hate her largely for her claims about women being just as violent as men - claims that have been verified in studies. Feminists like to perpetuate the myth that DV is an overwhelmingly male-perpetrated crime (as evidenced by laws such as VAWA), and they start foaming at the mouth whenever people point out their error - people like Erin Pizzey.

What I do agree with is that rape culture needs to be taken seriously and that the voices of rape victims should not be silenced.


Rape culture is one of those buzzwords that feminists like to bring up, but I contest that rape culture doesn't actually exist in the Western world. For example, college campuses happen to be one of the mainstays of their claim that we live in a rape culture, and they do this by telling people that 1 in 5 women will be raped while in college. In fact, this is a faulty statistic based on an overly-broad definition of sexual assault. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, the real number is more like 1 in 40, or just over 2%. And that is also likely over-inflated due to the certainty that some of those were false allegations. Yes, there are definitely some rapists and actual rape apologists out there, but their number is so small that I don't agree that they are indicative of a rape culture.

Because they wouldn't be feminists? If you fight for something that harms and oppresses women, you're not a feminist. Feminists focus on helping women...because it's in the very definition of being one.


No, that is completely opposite of what MANY feminists claim. They claim that they are fighting for equal rights and that feminism also addresses men's issues. They urge MRA's to abandon their ideology and join the ranks of feminism! If feminism is, as you say (and as I agree) all about women's issues, then what possible motive could any man concerned about men's issues have for being a feminist?

**rape definition links**


A casual reading of that initially seems to point out that you are right. However, if you read it closely, you will see that the proposed new definition does NOT include the forcible insertion of a penis into one's vagina. In other words, under that definition a woman still can't be convicted for raping a man unless she uses some sort of object to penetrate his anus.

most of those examples are consequences of enforced gender roles, which were put in place by men.


How were they put in place by men? I'd argue that they were put in place by nature. It's simply a fact that until VERY recently (i.e. post-Industrial Revolution), women were simply not physically equipped to do the work that men routinely had to do to put food on the table.

Fewer women go into these professions because of traditional gender roles dictating that men make better leaders. Instead of blaming all women for not fighting a battle that they are not obliged to (going into politics, I mean), it makes sense to uncover the cause behind it and work to abolish these ideas.


That's great. Abolish those ideas all you want. I have no problem with that. What I do have a problem with is when it starts veering into the territory of Affirmative Actions. That's always the end-point with feminism - social justice through government coercion in order to bring about an equality of outcome instead of an equality of opportunity.

but I doubt the highly disproportionate ratio is there purely because women "aren't as interested" in politics.


I don't doubt it at all. I actually did some number crunching here on the statistics from our 2012 Senatorial elections and what I found was quite interesting.

Compiling all of the candidates who appeared on the ballots for the primary (preliminary) elections, 15% were women yet 36% of the candidates who won their primaries were women. So the women who were candidates in the primary election were more than twice as likely to be nominated than their male colleagues.

Going on to the general (main) election, 25% of the candidates were women, yet 35% of the election winners were women, meaning that women again were disproportionately favored by voters. Now what is really interesting is that when we look at states who were running a woman against a man, women won 69% of the time. Is it possible that those women really were that much better than their male opponents? Possibly, but I think it's just as or more likely that people were more willing to vote for these women simply because they were women, and if that is true then what we have here is a lot of sexism against men in politics.

Furthering this train of thought, if women are disproportionately more likely to win office than their male colleagues, then what other reason could there be that more women aren't running for office than that they just aren't as interested?

Not to mention the discrimination behind the scenes, in workplaces dominated by men. So in short, yes, the patriarchy is a problem here.


I think this is an overblown problem. I have worked in male-dominated fields all my adult life (military and engineering) and I've never seen any discrimination of the women I work with. Regardless, even if there is discrimination going on, there are already laws in place to protect people from that kind of thing.

Then why do you proclaim yourself an anti-feminist in general? Feminism isn't made of just one ideology agreed upon by every person in the movement. The different types of feminists will hold arguments with each other that can get just as heated as those with anti-feminists.


I call myself an anti-feminist because I AM an anti-feminist. I don't like feminism - any kind of feminism. In virtually every case, feminism is merely a euphemism for socialism or Marxism. As a libertarian, I am fundamentally against such political ideologies. Now, that isn't to say that I hate all feminists. There are a few that I have got along with fairly well. But feminism as a whole I consider to be a bad thing.

Not only is "feminazi" a word used to scare people off from even considering feminism, it's just offensive on every level. Using a word associated with the genocide of millions of people to describe a social justice movement is insulting to those who have lost family members from the atrocities. Please be respectful.


Nazism is far more than a term relating to genocide. It is widely used as a term for totalinarians and authoritarians and I see nothing wrong with using it in that context. If it makes you feel better, I can refer to them as Femicommies, although Stalin killed far more innocent people than Hitler.

Yes Kat was overly abrasive and didn't know the time and place to discuss social justice. But I think the film makes it clear that her social beliefs themselves are NOT the reason she is considered "the shrew."


The way I see it, her militant feminism was either the cause of her abrasiveness or a symptom. Either way, it was not just an incidental and unrelated character trait. Were the movie to go on a little longer and maybe show Kat and Patrick 20 years down the road, I doubt that Kat would be much more likable.

P.S. I enjoy having this discussion as I am learning new things as well but my replies may be delayed from now on as I am having a pretty busy week and trying to limit my time online. Hope you understand.


Same. No rush reply whenever you can.

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Usually getting primary custody of children - gender stereotypes caused by the idea that women are naturally better caregivers


Something I forgot to mention regarding this point. The presumption that a woman is the best caretaker of a small child is actually a feminist idea. It's called the Tender Years Doctrine, and it is a legal doctrine that was initially put forth by a prominent feminist of the time. It's only very recently that men have started to have any chance at all of obtaining custody of their children, and oftentimes when men do win, based on a decision from a judge that the father is the better option, feminists have been known to cry about it and claim that their civil rights are being violated.

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a man who is serving time for a rape he didn't commit can easily find himself serving his entire sentence as well as dealing with the stigma that comes of being a rapist for the rest of his life...men can be convicted of rape based on the flimsiest of evidence - or even no evidence at all...we have absolutely no way of quantifying how common false rape allegations and convictions are.


I don't know why you think those two incidents are indicative of a societal-wide problem on how easily men can be convicted of rape when in fact conviction rates for rapists are astonishingly low. Although part of this is due to the fact that rape is an under-reported crime, the issue is based on fear -- fear that they wouldn't be able to get a conviction anyway, fear that their assailants would come back and find them, fear of being ostracized. Even among cases that have been reported, only 37% of reported rapes are prosecuted in the US, and 14-18% when expanded to include all forms of sexual assault.

Literally every single study I've seen on false rape allegations still reports that they are the minority. Are they justifiable in any way? NO. No one is saying that. Those women are freaking terrible, no one is disagreeing with you on that. But these incidents do not indicate a societal problem as wide as that of rape. Those women in the articles you posted do not represent all women. I know what you're thinking -- then rapists surely don't represent all men either, right? No they do not, but the fact remains that men still unknowingly contribute to rape culture (see my later comments) even if they are not rapists.

In other words, under that definition a woman still can't be convicted for raping a man unless she uses some sort of object to penetrate his anus.


No. The new definition reads: "The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim." It does not state that the "penetrator" is the offender or that the person who was penetrated is the victim.

It's simply a fact that until VERY recently (i.e. post-Industrial Revolution), women were simply not physically equipped to do the work that men routinely had to do to put food on the table.


Kind of a huge generalization. That doesn't explain why women were also barred from many occupations that did not require field labour, including those in law, health sciences, and the arts.

That's always the end-point with feminism - social justice through government coercion in order to bring about an equality of outcome instead of an equality of opportunity.


I don't know how anyone can sincerely believe that it is possible to re-shape the balance of power by having the people already in power be the givers of "equal opportunity."

I'm not certain what you would consider a confirmation. A police report? I'm not certain if any such thing exists.


She claims the London bomb asked that all her mail be redirected to their headquarters as a result of the threats. You'd think some form of evidence would show up for something as serious as that.

And I'm not sure where you found that feminists hate Erin Pizzey for saying that women can be abusers too (besides words coming from Pizzey herself), because all I'm finding in my searches are links where Pizzey and MRAs talk about how much they hate feminists and how they think feminism is akin to terrorism.

MRAs are a joke anyway. Every single MRA organization I've come across seems more committed to calling feminists neo-Nazis and skinheads than actual concern about men's issues.

I'm sorry, but victim blaming sometimes has a place. It is simply factual that many women are drawn to abusive relationships. I've seen it first hand.


No.

Abuse is never the victim's fault. When you victim-blame, you are endorsing the idea that abuse is justifiable under certain circumstances. You are taking the side of the abuser. If you cannot see anything wrong with that I don't know what to say to you. How can you claim that rape culture doesn't exist in the Western world when you literally say that "victim blaming sometimes has a place"?

There are many reasons why a woman (or a man, for that matter) would choose to stay in an abusive relationship.

They have been threatened by their partner and would feel that they would put themselves (and their children, if any) in greater danger if they chose to leave.
Their abusers have threatened with self-harm and suicide if they were to leave.
They grew up in an environment where abuse was common and believe that their relationship is normal.
Their abusers have psychologically manipulated them to the point where they believe that no one else would have them and that they should be grateful to the abuser for staying with them.
They are financially dependent on the abuser.
They feel they would be ostracized by their family and friends if they left the relationship.
They are afraid that the abuser will kidnap the children or turn the children against them if they leave.
They have a disability and are dependent on the abuser (and in some cases, cannot leave the house without them).
Their first language is not English, making it difficult to find resources that can help them.
They are afraid of disrupting the lives of their children.
They are transgender and fear that the police will not take them seriously, given law enforcement's history with trans people, particularly trans women.
They are male and fear that the police will not take them seriously, given the harmful gender stereotypes that promote the notion that men cannot be victims of abuse (traits associated with abuse victims, passiveness and submissiveness, are seen as feminine traits).

Please think about what you are saying, especially since you say there are/were abuse survivors in your life that you know of.

I contest that rape culture doesn't actually exist in the Western world…Yes, there are definitely some rapists and actual rape apologists out there, but their number is so small that I don't agree that they are indicative of a rape culture.


Yes it does exist.

A disturbing number of people don’t actually seem to understand what rape is, and will excuse it as long as the word itself isn’t mentioned anywhere in the discussion, even if they claim that they don’t support rape. Does the phrase "it's not rape if you enjoyed it" ring a bell? I have heard it far too many times. It also hurts male survivors, because gender roles have enforced the idea that there is something wrong with a man who dislikes sex (which rape is not, of course, but many people have a warped idea of what they see as the difference). What about rape when the victim is intoxicated? Why is it that when a man passes out drunk at a party, his worst worry is having someone draw obscene images on his face, but when a woman does the same she must fear something far worse? There are also an astonishing number of people I've seen online who literally don't think there's anything wrong with marital rape.

University of Minnesota study on pornography:
https://www1.umn.edu/aurora/pdf/ResearchOnPornography.pdf#page=1&z oom=auto,0,792

From page 5:
"One study of high school students found very high rates of "rape supportive beliefs", that is,
acceptance of rape myths and violence against women. The boys who were the most frequent
consumers of pornography and/or who reported learning a lot from it, were more accepting of
rape supportive beliefs than their peers who were less frequent consumers and/or who said they
had not learned as much from it. A full 25% of girls and 57% of boys indicated belief that in one
or more situations, it was at least "maybe okay" for a boy to hold a girl down and force her to
have intercourse. Further, only 21% of the boys and 57% of the girls believed that forced
intercourse was "definitely not okay" in any of the situations. Forced intercourse was most
accepted was that in which the girl had sexually excited her date. In this case 43% of the boys
and 16% of the girls stated that if was at least "maybe okay" for the boy to force intercourse."

There are ENDLESS more examples, which I can tell you if you want to hear them.

If feminism is, as you say (and as I agree) all about women's issues, then what possible motive could any man concerned about men's issues have for being a feminist?


Because abolishing gender roles liberates men as well as woman.
Because staying neutral (which is pretty much always another way of saying "any issue that doesn't concern me specifically is unimportant") or actively opposing feminism hurts women.
Because intersectional feminists actively support male members of oppressed groups (men of colour, LBGTQ men, disabled men, etc.) in their own struggles for justice.
Because no woman deserves to be raped, harassed, invalidated or silenced on the basis of her gender and it requires no more than basic human decency to support that statement.

Being concerned with men's issues and being a feminist ally are not mutually exclusive positions, by the way.

Possibly, but I think it's just as or more likely that people were more willing to vote for these women simply because they were women


Or maybe because female candidates are more likely to be versed on/interested in issues concerning women? Because this is a way women can have their voices heard?

I have worked in male-dominated fields all my adult life (military and engineering) and I've never seen any discrimination of the women I work with.


On rape and sexual assault in the US military:

http://america.aljazeera.com/articles/2014/2/26/army-dismissals-sexass ault.html

The Army recently dismissed 588 soldiers after many of them were found to have committed sexual assault.

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2011/dec/09/rape-us-military

This provides explanations as to why victims are reluctant to report. One survivor says that her superiors told her to keep quiet and that she was called a wh*re and a b*tch and a liar. This thing happens all the time. There are more stories in the article and a link to a survivors' site. Although rape in the military is a huge issue for men as well (and the resulting stigma is different than that for women), women face an enormous number of problems in the military in general:

http://community.seattletimes.nwsource.com/archive/?date=19900912&; slug=1092701

"Women in the armed forces appear almost four times as likely as men to be subjected to sexual harrassment."

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/military/story/2012-06-06/female-s oldiers-need-better-health-care/55626156/1

Women forced to use equipment designed for men suffer health problems as a result.

I call myself an anti-feminist because I AM an anti-feminist. I don't like feminism - any kind of feminism.


Okay, not sure why you chose to specifically mention you hated "militant feminism" earlier then (whatever that is).

Nazism is far more than a term relating to genocide. It is widely used as a term for totalinarians and authoritarians and I see nothing wrong with using it in that context. If it makes you feel better, I can refer to them as Femicommies, although Stalin killed far more innocent people than Hitler.


I honestly can't tell if you're joking or not. Either way, I would prefer to drop the issue now; I think I veered off-topic.

The way I see it, her militant feminism was either the cause of her abrasiveness or a symptom. Either way, it was not just an incidental and unrelated character trait.


You're right, her feminist beliefs are not incidental because they are supposed to be ironic, considering the overt misogyny of The Taming of the Shrew. If she WASN'T aware of the ways in which men manipulative women, Patrick's pursuit of Kat in the film would just seem really creepy. The transportation of the setting allows the "shrew" to fight back and question this. Now I don't think the film pulled it off perfectly and I know its goal in the end is entertainment, not a social statement, but I still don't agree that Kat was intended to be dislikable because of her beliefs.

Tender Years Doctrine, and it is a legal doctrine that was initially put forth by a prominent feminist of the time.


Pointing your finger at feminists for starting all of this is not quite accurate when you look at the historical context. Yes, Caroline Norton fought for legislation for mother's rights...in a time where men still had full custodial rights even if the mothers remained the sole/primary caregivers of the children. The Tender Years Doctrine was the British Parliament's response to this, and was created and maintained by men and interpreted by male judges.

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I don't know why you think those two incidents are indicative of a societal-wide problem


Those are simply the first two examples that sprang to mind that illustrate my point. Conviction rates for rape might be low, but isn't it possible that a lot of those accused were innocent? And the prosecution of rapes might also be low. That sucks, but prosecutors will only pursue cases where there is a possibility of conviction. Lowering the required evidence for a conviction would be unjust to those charged with rape who did nothing to deserve it. So what would be your solution?

Anyway, yeah I am aware of all of those studies talking about how false rape allegations are an extreme minority, but I don't see how anyone could trust a study that is not able to take comprehensive surveys on instances of false allegations. How can you figure out how common a problem it is when a lot of those who are falsely convicted are just considered rapists? And then whenever someone calls into question the validity of rape statistics they are called a rape apologist!

No. The new definition reads...


No, that definition implies that the person being raped is the one being penetrated. That might not be the way that you interpret it, but that absolutely is the way that the law interprets it.

Kind of a huge generalization. That doesn't explain why women were also barred from many occupations that did not require field labour, including those in law, health sciences, and the arts.


Well, that's not really true. Just as one example from off the top of my head, in Renaissance Italy, women were allowed to hold positions of civic office, including lawyers, judges, and legislators (Women in the World's Legal Professions, by Gisela Shaw). Also in Renaissance Italy, there were many notable female artists such as Sofonisba Anguissola and Properzia de'Rossi. Additionally, Renaissance Italy used female actors in their plays. Pope Sixtus V even attempted to get the Roman Colliseum turned into a wool factory to employ the cities prostitutes, but that plan was shelved after his death.

There are many examples from other countries and time periods, but I think that suffices for my argument. I simply bring up the Italian Renaissance because I have been reading about it a lot lately and am a huge fan of Renaissance art. So the claim that women just weren't allowed to work or hold office or be artists is completely fictional.

I don't know how anyone can sincerely believe that it is possible to re-shape the balance of power by having the people already in power be the givers of "equal opportunity."


Equal opportunity is already a reality, so I'm not sure who these "givers" are or what they are going to be giving. Is there anything holding a woman back from pursuing whatever profession she wants? Women can be doctors, lawyers, astronauts, engineers, mathematicians and physicists. There is absolutely nothing holding women back aside from themselves. It is up to women to show interest in a field and then to display the aptitude to perform in that field.

She claims the London bomb asked that all her mail be redirected to their headquarters as a result of the threats. You'd think some form of evidence would show up for something as serious as that.


Possibly, but possibly not. Regardless, have you contacted the London Police Department and asked them? Again, I fail to see how she would have had any motive to make these claims since her claims pre-dated any involvement in the area of men's rights.

MRAs are a joke anyway.


Indeed, many are, thus one main reason why I don't associate with them. However, they do have a lot of valid points which are constantly marginalized by feminists.

Abuse is never the victim's fault.


I agree, abuse is never the victim's fault. However, the act of putting oneself into a vulnerable position where abuse is possible oftentimes is the victim's fault. See, "victim blaming" is a term that feminists like to throw around to try to derail any sort of dissenting voice, even though the term is not accurate. A lot of your examples do have merit (although I would contest how common you imply they are), but that doesn't invalidate my position that in many cases, women put themselves into the positions that they find themselves in. Erin Pizzey was even specifically talking about women who floated from one abusive partner to the next, never altering the behaviors that put them at risk.

They are male and fear that the police will not take them seriously, given the harmful gender stereotypes that promote the notion that men cannot be victims of abuse (traits associated with abuse victims, passiveness and submissiveness, are seen as feminine traits.


I'm surprised you even bring this one up considering how vehemently feminists deny that men are victims of DV in any appreciable quantity.

rape studies


I think an important question here is how the word force is defined. That study never goes into any such thing, and I read all 10 pages. Force might be considered ignoring a "no" or it might mean convincing a woman to change her mind from a "no" to a "yes". It may also simply refer to sex where one acts as a dominant and another as a submissive. My point is that without a concrete definition of terms, it's impossible to gain any useful knowledge from a study.

Or maybe because female candidates are more likely to be versed on/interested in issues concerning women? Because this is a way women can have their voices heard?


It's sexist to assume that men can't act as a representative for women, and vice versa, especially since politicians (especially Democrats) bend over backwards to address women's issues. So I'm sorry, but voting for someone based on gender is discrimination, no matter how you try to sugar-coat it.

The Army recently dismissed 588 soldiers after many of them were found to have committed sexual assault.


Wow, 600 people in an army of over a million. So about 1 in 2000 people. Sorry, but I don't consider that to be an epidemic by any stretch of the imagination.

"Women in the armed forces appear almost four times as likely as men to be subjected to sexual harrassment."


Laws in place to address that.

Women forced to use equipment designed for men suffer health problems as a result.


Virtually every one of those disparities cause comfort problems, and the most important ones seem to be in the process of being fixed. These things take time when we're talking about a bureaucracy as enormous as the U.S. military. I don't see what your problem is.

Okay, not sure why you chose to specifically mention you hated "militant feminism" earlier then (whatever that is).


I was specifically talking about militant feminisTS. While I dislike feminism of any stripe, I can actually get along with many normal feminists. Militant feminists, on the other hand, I will never get along with.

As for what militant feminism is, I think that you can figure it out. See: radical feminism. As taken from the appropriate wikipedia page, "Radical feminism is a perspective within feminism that focuses on the hypothesis of patriarchy as a system of power that organizes society into a complex of relationships based on the assertion that male supremacy oppresses women. Radical feminism aims to challenge and overthrow patriarchy by opposing standard gender roles and oppression of women and calls for a radical reordering of society."

You're right, her feminist beliefs are not incidental because...


Yeah I get that it was supposed to be ironic, although I don't necessarily believe that TotS was misogynistic. But I wholeheartedly disagree that her angry-girl feminism was not supposed to contribute in any way to her unlikability.

The Tender Years Doctrine was the British Parliament's response to this, and was created and maintained by men and interpreted by male judges.


If you read her writings you would realize that she was in lock-step with the Tender Years Doctrine. She absolutely believed that women should be the sole custodians of young children, and the feminists of her time agreed with her.

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So what would be your solution?


That's a question with no easy answer, but I would say to teach police officers to treat cases with neutrality, not judgment, and that complaint withdrawal and an immediate lack of evidence are not indicative of false allegations in themselves. I agree that lowering the required evidence is not the solution.

but I don't see how anyone could trust a study that is not able to take comprehensive surveys on instances of false allegations.


I don't understand what you mean. These studies are meant to examine sample sizes from all rape allegations, prior to determining whether they are true or false.

No, that definition implies that the person being raped is the one being penetrated.


Are we reading the same statement here? How so?

"The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim." It does not say who the victim would be in such a scenario. How would you reword it?

Well, that's not really true. Just as one example from off the top of my head, in Renaissance Italy, women were allowed to...


And when you look at the US in the 1950s women were pretty much restricted to teaching, secretarial, and nursing jobs. The changing status of women throughout history is not linear. The Italian Renaissance was one of the brighter spots for female artists but it was not perfect. Almost all women who pursued of this period were either a) aristocratic women b) nuns, with the convent being the only alternative to marriage c) daughters of painters. They were still primarily encouraged to marry and fulfill their household duties, and it is only recently that many of their names have come to light.

There is absolutely nothing holding women back aside from themselves.


Right, except for the men already in the workplace as their superiors.

http://www.nwlc.org/resource/affirmative-action-and-what-it-means-wome n#N_5_

MIT officials admit to a long history of discrimination against women in hiring, promotions, awards, etc. A female musician has a 50% greater change of advancing in the orchestra selection process if she performs behind a screen. Texaco admitted that they had consistently paid women in professional and executive positions less than their male counterparts. Sexual harassment, which I already covered. And motherhood and choosing to pursue lower-paying jobs does not explain everything:

"One study shows that after about 11 years on medical school faculties, 23% of men but only 5% of women had achieved the rank of full professor - and the gap persisted when researchers held constant the number of hours worked per week.(32) Another study, of graduates of the University of Michigan Law School from 1972 through 1975, revealed significant wage differentials between male and female lawyers after 15 years of practice, even when hours of work, family responsibilities and other variables were held constant.(33) These women have made the same career choices as men, worked the same hours as men, yet still earn less."

Regardless, have you contacted the London Police Department and asked them?


Um...what.

women put themselves into the positions that they find themselves in


Do you realize what you are saying?

Robbery and murder victims who stay at home alone with their doors unlocked "put themselves into the positions they find themselves in." Yet nobody talks about that issue. No one says "well if they had put up a high-end security system this wouldn't have happened." Why scrutinize "vulnerable behaviour" when you could be tackling the culture that permits the offender's mindset in the first place?

Erin Pizzey was even specifically talking...never altering the behaviors that put them at risk.


"Behaviours that put them at risk." Excuse me?! What behaviours? So women need to take responsibility to prevent other people from consciously making the choice to practice abusive behaviour? Yeah, I fail to see how this isn't victim-blaming. Do men also need to "alter their behaviours?"

I'm surprised you even bring this one up considering how vehemently feminists deny that men are victims of DV in any appreciable quantity.


What kind of feminists do you keep coming across? I have rarely heard such a thing, and I can assure you there are plenty of feminists who would be disgusted by such a statement from their fellow activists.

I think an important question here is how the word force is defined.


Force is another word for rape here because it implies the lack of consent. So ignoring a "no" is a use of force. The dominant/submissive thing would not be force, no, if both were consenting. Convincing a woman to change her mind is less black-and-white. It ultimately comes down to whether the woman finally consents out of true willingness and a feeling of safety or out of fear. That's why cases are judged on an individual basis.

voting for someone based on gender is discrimination, no matter how you try to sugar-coat it.


First of all, I meant that many female politicians ARE concerned with women's issues, I'm sorry I didn't make that clear. And blind voting is hardly restricted to gender, people will vote for politicians purely on the basis that they are attractive, that they support marijuana legalization, or whatever crap like that. It's an entirely different issue altogether. I still don't see what kind of fantasy world you're living in when you cry sexism against men in POLITICS of all examples.

Wow, 600 people in an army of over a million. So about 1 in 2000 people. Sorry, but I don't consider that to be an epidemic by any stretch of the imagination.


So according to you, there are no other offenders in the US military. The reason why issue draws so much attention in particular is because of the EXTREME stigmatization that occurs as a result, of the people who try to silence the survivors and erase the issue, more so than in other occupations.

Laws in place to address that.


Doesn't prevent it from happening, so clearly we still have some work to do.

While I dislike feminism of any stripe, I can actually get along with many normal feminists...


This is like the third time you've said this. Feminists don't find it comforting that you think they're easy to get along with if you deny and invalidate their experiences and equate them to Nazis.

(By the way, I don't consider myself a radical feminist, and in fact think a lot of their beliefs are extremely damaging, though not in the way you think. And I'm far from the only one. You said you see merit in some of the issues MRAs bring up. Likewise, I see some merit in the ideology of radical feminism concerning gender relations.)

If you read her writings you would realize that she was in lock-step with the Tender Years Doctrine.


As I said, it was men who articulated and interpreted the Doctrine. Even if she believed in it, it was the men who had the political power to put it into practice and who used that power.

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That's a question with no easy answer, but I would say to teach police officers to treat cases with neutrality, not judgment, and that complaint withdrawal and an immediate lack of evidence are not indicative of false allegations in themselves.


And maybe that "he said-she said" is insufficient evidence for indicting - let alone convicting! - a man of rape.

I don't understand what you mean. These studies are meant to examine sample sizes from all rape allegations, prior to determining whether they are true or false.


Yes, but an innocent man who has been convicted of rape and is serving a prison sentence is not going to be included in the pool of false accusations. Further, a case that never goes to trial or leads to an arrest due to insufficient evidence is also not going to be counted as a false accusation even if it is one!

In other words, a man who is falsely accused of rape and whose case is dropped due to insufficient evidence is only going to wrongly bolster your stats about low conviction rates while taking away from those regarding the frequency of false allegations. That is why these stats can never be fully trusted.

Are we reading the same statement here? How so?


Yeah, and only women can be vaginally penetrated. That is the way the law sees it, thus men cannot be legally raped where traditional sex is concerned. Other, lesser charges can be made, but not rape, at least not according to the federal definition. I would have to review the definition as given by the states, but I am not optimistic that I would find anything heartening. Maybe it's different in Canada, but that's the way it is here.

Can you find even one single example of a woman being arrested for raping a man (PIV) that wasn't statutory? Because I sure can't!

And when you look at the US in the 1950s women were pretty much restricted to teaching, secretarial, and nursing jobs.


Hmmm, that's weird. My grandmother was a police officer in the 1950's. And I know for a fact that female physicians existed as early as 1900. Then of course we have the exceptional women such as Marie Curie, who won the Nobel Prize in chemistry and physics, and Amelia Earhart. There were plenty of poets and artists and actors as well. Clara Foltz passed the California bar examination in the 1870's and went on to practice law her entire life.

Regardless, the origin of traditional gender roles had absolutely nothing to do with sexism and everything to do with pragmatism as determined by the evolution of our species. Let's face it, if you're going to send someone up against a woolly mammoth armed with nothing more than a spear do you want a woman to do it, or a man? Further, would it have been considered a good idea to risk a woman being eaten by a saber tooth tiger when her role as a bringer of life was far more important to the survival of the tribe? A tribe that loses most of its men still has a chance. A tribe that loses most of its women is pretty much doomed. So you should be a little bit more forgiving of humanity's hesitation to abandon traditional gender roles since it's kinda encoded in our DNA, and further exacerbated by the reality that most work that families had to endure over the course of the last 10,000 years have been far too hard for women to handle.

Right, except for the men already in the workplace as their superiors


There are a few good points in that article, but some problems as well. First of all, many of those instances ended up in lawsuits with hefty settlements involved. Sounds like the women ended up doing okay. And since when is getting a job at MIT necessary for success in one's field? Examples such as the one about Texaco say that women were paid less, but it doesn't mention WHY they were paid less. Wall Street Journal articles are of questionable validity, and studies that are 40 years old are also of dubious relevance today so that University of Michigan example is a "meh". Then the article goes on to regurgitate the same old statistics that ignore relevant factors that lead to lower wages.

Um...what.


It was a tongue-in-cheek comment, but I do actually want to know where you checked before dismissing Erin's claims. Was it anything more than a cursory google search?

Do you realize what you are saying?


Yeah, I know exactly what I'm saying. And a person who lives in a crime infested neighborhood who finds himself getting robbed over and over but doesn't move, or get a security system, or a gun, or a dog, and who has the power to do so, they ARE contributing to their vulnerability.

Why scrutinize "vulnerable behaviour" when you could be tackling the culture that permits the offender's mindset in the first place?


Because it urges people to take responsibility for themselves and not to bank their safety on wishes and dreams. The world is not a pretty place, so people need to be willing to take care of themselves. If I got mugged while walking around Detroit while counting the money in my wallet, I would certainly think that the people responsible should be held accountable, but I would also have to question the wisdom of my decision to put myself in such a dangerous environment. And that's exactly what women who are drawn to abusive partners are doing to themselves.

So women need to take responsibility to prevent other people from consciously making the choice to practice abusive behaviour?


Yeah, that's what adults do. It's not 100% guaranteed to work, obviously, but it can certainly be a major mitigating factor.

What kind of feminists do you keep coming across?


Well, there's stuff like this: http://www.feminist.org/other/dv/dvfact.html

which completely ignore all of the studies that paint a much more...egalitarian picture of domestic violence. And even when feminists do admit that women can be violent it is often shrugged at because women can't do as much damage as men can (ignoring the fact that women often make up for this by using weapons and objects - for example, a step-cousin of mine threw a fork at her husband that punctured his neck all because he made some stupid comment regarding the quality of her cooking).

Then there are always the atrocities like http://jezebel.com/294383/have-you-ever-beat-up-a-boyfriend-cause-uh-w e-have

and this http://jezebel.com/5123422/australian-woman-on-murdered-husband-his-pe nis-should-belong-to-me

Just look at how flippant the commenters are on the subject. It's like it's all a big joke to them.

Then of course we have the case of how the hosts of the view handled the story of Katherine Kieu Becker. In case you haven't heard: http://www.mrctv.org/videos/sharon-osborne-leads-laughs-about-male-gen ital-mutilation

Granted, I don't believe Sharon Osbourne is a feminist, but Sarah Gilbert is absolutely a feminist. And while I do give her credit for pointing out the sexist double standard regarding how un-funny this situation would be were the sexes reversed, it doesn't change the fact that she was participating in that double standard by laughing around and joking about it with everyone else!

It's all indicative of a culture where violence against men is either shrugged off or laughed at.

Force is another word for rape here because it implies the lack of consent.


That's your interpretation, but without actually being able to read the study and know what precise questions were asked the students, it's impossible to parse the data into anything meaningful. I also find it interesting how that study implies a correlation between rape and pornography use when rape statistics have plummeted every since the internet became a big thing. Correlation of course doesn't imply causation, however there are other studies out there that substantiate the hypothesis that pornography leads to a decrease in rapes. I admittedly do not have the energy to dig them up right now.

First of all, I meant that many female politicians ARE concerned with women's issues,


Yeah, and so are male politicians, especially those on the left side of the spectrum. After all, women are the ones voting them in! Of course they're going to be bending over backwards to placate their base.

I still don't see what kind of fantasy world you're living in when you cry sexism against men in POLITICS of all examples.


That's not exactly what I was trying to say. I was mostly just trying to counterbalance your presumption that women suffer from sexism in politics with an example of how sexism might favor them in order to illustrate that the issue isn't black and white.

So according to you, there are no other offenders in the US military.


I'm sure there's some, but how many of those who were kicked out were really guilty in the first place. As a veteran who has seen friends dishonorably discharged from service, I know firsthand that evidence is not something that plays all that much of a role. It's one thing if a court martial is occurring, but that is usually not the case when dealing with issues of discipline and discharge. Universities routinely expel students accused of rape based on nothing more than a preponderance of evidence (i.e. there is at least a 50% chance that he is guilty), and the military is just as bad, especially considering how desperately they are trying to improve their PR. I do know that in my six years of service I never heard of one shipmate getting kicked out for rape, and news travels very fast on a ship.

This is like the third time you've said this. Feminists don't find it comforting that you think they're easy to get along with if you deny and invalidate their experiences and equate them to Nazis.


The only ones I call nazis are those who are the militant/radical feminists. The ones who are pleasant do not qualify as nazis. So the ones I get along with are also not being called nazis. Based on the little I know you, for example, I would not call you a feminazi. People like Jessica Valentis, however, I would. Pretty simple stuff.

As I said, it was men who articulated and interpreted the Doctrine. Even if she believed in it, it was the men who had the political power to put it into practice and who used that power.


Who cares? She, and all of her feminists buddies, had a vision and that vision was made a reality to the detriment of loving and capable fathers the world over for well over a century and even today!

I didn't reply in nearly as much detail tonight as I would have liked and I hope you'll forgive me for that. It's just late and I'm really lacking in energy at the moment.

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And maybe that "he said-she said" is insufficient evidence for indicting - let alone convicting! - a man of rape.


Yes, that's why they have rape kits. I don't know what you would suggest to solve this.

Yes, but an innocent man who has been convicted of rape and is serving a prison sentence is not going to be included in the pool of false accusations.


Okay, well there's literally nothing that can be done about that, so...

In other words, a man who is falsely accused of rape and whose case is dropped due to insufficient evidence is only going to wrongly bolster your stats about low conviction rates while taking away from those regarding the frequency of false allegations.


And true allegations that aren't convicted are also not taken into account. Many "unfounded" cases (unproven because of lack of evidence, but the victim was definitely assaulted) are grouped together with provably false allegations to count under "false" allegations as well. Obviously some work on research methodologies needs to be done, but I don't know what else you can suggest. Like I said, the cultural mindset that police approach rape victims with is skepticism (pre-conceived ideas of the ways victims "should" act).

Can you find even one single example of a woman being arrested for raping a man (PIV) that wasn't statutory? Because I sure can't!


I would argue that this has more to do with the under-reporting of crimes of this nature, for obvious reasons, and not this new legal definition.

Hmmm, that's weird. My grandmother was a police officer in the 1950's


Women were still generally restricted to clerical, service, and sales positions. The famous women you listed are exceptional cases. Marie Curie had to leave her country to pursue the education she wanted because the University of Warsaw did not accept women. It was women's education advocates who gave her a scholarship that allowed her to pursue a second degree in mathematics. Amelia Earhart was only the 16th (!) woman to be issued a pilot's license by the world governing body for aeronautics. Clara Foltz was the first woman to be admitted to the California State Bar and had to work to change the requirements, because they only admitted white males at the time. They all had to overcome difficulties that males in their positions would not have to face.

So you should be a little bit more forgiving of humanity's hesitation to abandon traditional gender roles since it's kinda encoded in our DNA


Millions of years later and we're still "hesitating." Hm. We don't face the possible catastrophes that you described anymore, at least nowhere near that scale, so I fail to see how that is relevant. Furthermore, you pointed earlier the problem of men facing compulsory registration, which wouldn't exist without the continued establishment of traditional gender roles.

First of all, many of those instances ended up in lawsuits with hefty settlements involved. Sounds like the women ended up doing okay. And since when is getting a job at MIT necessary for success in one's field? Examples such as the one about Texaco say that women were paid less, but it doesn't mention WHY they were paid less. Wall Street Journal articles are of questionable validity, and studies that are 40 years old are also of dubious relevance today so that University of Michigan example is a "meh". Then the article goes on to regurgitate the same old statistics that ignore relevant factors that lead to lower wages.


1. The fact that the women received settlements does not prevent the problem from happening in the first place.
2. No one said getting a job at MIT is necessary for success. It's an example.
3. "but it doesn't mention WHY they were paid less." Yes individual factors may have had something to do with it but a company doesn't pay $3 million in compensation with zero analysis as to why it's needed. There IS an anti-female bias in the workplace and I don't see how that wouldn't extend to Texaco.
4. It fully acknowledges the "relevant factors": "Although some women choose to devote themselves to family concerns or to jobs with lower pay for a range of reasons, such choices do not fully explain the disparities between men's and women's salaries. *example I quoted earlier*"

I do actually want to know where you checked before dismissing Erin's claims


I'm skeptical of her claims, yes, but who knows. I've googled "Erin Pizzey bomb threat," "Erin Pizzey London bomb squad," and one or two other variations and came up with nothing. Honestly I don't feel it was especially relevant to our discussion, which is why I have no interest in pursuing it further.

they ARE contributing to their vulnerability.


How would people be able to prevent themselves from entering relationships would later involve abuse? How on earth would you know how to spot a potential abuser from a distance? Not all abusers are "dangerous, violent men" on the surface and even those who are can be capable of apparent kindness (to their partners) and/or extreme psychological manipulation. And I repeat, what kind of so-called "behaviours" "lead" (I put that in quotes because I still fundamentally disagree with the morality of making such a statement) people to abuse an individual?

which completely ignore all of the studies that paint a much more...egalitarian picture of domestic violence


Not focusing on an issue ≠ actively blocking access to information on the issue.

Just look at how flippant the commenters are on the subject. It's like it's all a big joke to them.


Not disgreeing with you there, I dislike Jezebel and feel that their writers are a poor voice for feminism, seeking issues primarily concerning white middle-class women and just spewing a lot of overall BS (saying that selfies are a "cry for help," for instance).

It's all indicative of a culture where violence against men is either shrugged off or laughed at.


I have not denied once that there is an issue with the way violence against men is treated. My only concern with this is when you say it completely eclipses the issue of violence against women.

there are other studies out there that substantiate the hypothesis that pornography leads to a decrease in rapes. I admittedly do not have the energy to dig them up right now.


Nor do I for counter-arguments. This is veering into a whole other field anyway, so don't worry.

I was mostly just trying to counterbalance your presumption that women suffer from sexism in politics with an example of how sexism might favor them


So it's okay if female politicians are mocked for and/or have inappropriate comments made on their appearance and dress, called sl*ts and wh*res, and dismissed as crazy (just some of the more well-known examples, and the number is endless) as long as they find some success?

I'm sure there's some, but how many of those who were kicked out were really guilty in the first place


I don't have firsthand experience like you do but whatever number of false allegations there may be does not erase the stories of hundreds of survivors (and these are only the ones that have chosen to step forward), both male and female. And I definitely see no reason for again, hundreds of people to make any of this up, considering many of them are no longer in service and many remain anonymous.

Another story where a woman was ostracized after coming forward following years of silence:

http://www.npr.org/2013/03/21/174840895/sexual-violence-victims-say-mi litary-justice-system-is-broken

in my six years of service I never heard of one shipmate getting kicked out for rape


Again, I don't want to speak over your own experiences as I have none of my own, but the thing is they often AREN'T dismissed.

An example of how a guilty verdict (by an all-male jury) can be overturned, which caused outrage among men and women alike:

http://www.stripes.com/news/air-force-pilot-s-sex-assault-dismissal-sp arks-cries-for-reform-1.210371

Who cares? She, and all of her feminists buddies, had a vision and that vision was made a reality to the detriment of loving and capable fathers the world over for well over a century and even today!


Yeah, made a reality by the all-male Parliament which CHOSE to take her side. She would not have had the power to instate the doctrine (nor did the women around her) and had the doctrine not been legislated, she would just be considered another feminist of that time today. So yes, I do believe you are mischaracterizing the facts.

I didn't reply in nearly as much detail tonight as I would have liked and I hope you'll forgive me for that. It's just late and I'm really lacking in energy at the moment.


No worries, I understand. I apologize for the same thing in this post. I am actually going to bow down from this discussion, if that's okay with you. I realize I sound like I'm "giving up" and if you or anyone else were to accuse me of that I don't blame you, it's just that I feel like we haven't brought each other a single step closer in changing our mindsets. And it's honestly a bit draining typing thousands of words for a discussion going nowhere; I'm sure you feel it too to some degree. I did learn quite a bit from both sides over the past few days though, so I don't regret having this discussion.

I didn't want to be rude by immediately going "lol bye" after you spent time typing all of that, so I did respond to what you said. But if you want the last word, feel free to respond to my comments one more time (I did ask a few questions after all), which I will read but not reply to, no matter how much I want to. If you don't want to do that, that's fine too.

Thanks for remaining civil throughout all of this, even if you still word certain things in a way I take issue with (sorry, couldn't resist).

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Oh, it's no problem at all. I completely understand and agree that it is very draining. I think my last post took a couple of hours to write after all is said and done. I will respond to some of your questions - and no pressure for you to respond again - but not tonight. Maybe tomorrow.

I would like to take the immediate opportunity to apologize if any of my writing seemed...terse. This is a subject that easily raises my hackles and sometimes it takes a lot of effort for me to remain civil when discussing it online. As you no doubt noticed, my initial post in this board was hardly constructive and more indicative of venting or of a rant.

Again, thank you for the exchange and I will take a few minutes to respond to some of your final queries a bit later.

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Why is "holding onto your identity" good? Kat's chosen identity is that of a man-hating, in-your-face, intolerant, pseudo-intellectual, bitter shrew. Staying this way is admirable? I guess Joey is also great for refusing to change who he is then.

Feminism is by definition sexist for excluding men while simultaneously claiming to want equality, so i imagine that's one issue people take, on top of its generally hateful attitude towards men, whites, Christians, conservatives, those with traditional lifestyles, and others who don't fit in with what most feminists like. Even other women.

And easy? One, that's the worst excuse I've ever heard for making such a misandrist comment. Two, just no. And three laziness never excuses hatred. Imagine how mad you'd be if a man did that. It's hypocritical.

This excusing of sexism and hatred of those who aren't women or feminists is likely the other poster's problem with feminism. The average kind of which is way too much like this movie's little pet, Kat.

Why did you get an F in English? DO YOU WANT THE BRITISH TO WIN???/? -George Washington?

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I consider myself a feminist here. I'll say that I got this from Kat's portrayal in this film. I grew up watching this movie and I learned that it was okay to stand up for myself as a woman.
I can tell you that the wage gap is a real thing. My husband and I work together and I started first as an assistant manager making minimum wage. I became the general manager and received a 2.25 raise. My husband then was hired as my assistant manager. He hired in at a dollar more than I did and currently makes .25 less than me.
Being a feminist I support men's rights. I don't think that as a mother I should have to pay money to my ex for him to care for his children while not being able to see them, so why should I expect that from him. I also would not keep my children from him any more than he would keep them from me. How could I respect myself as a feminist calling for equal rights if I expect more than a man. As much ass I believe that women and men are equal and should be treated as such, I believe that mom and dad are also equal.
That being said you feel bad for the guy that kat kicked in the balls but not for her because you are men and can emphasize wit the pain. But I emphasize with a woman who was sexually assaulted and stood up for herself. Men don't see it that way. How many sexually assault or harassment cases are against women as opposed to men? The fact is that women are not treated equally because they are not seen as equal.
Women are treated as objects instead of equals. If you want father's to be treated as equals then you have to view women as equals. You have to change that diaper, do the dishes, cook dinner, stay home with the kids, and give them a bath. Not because you're helping her but because you are as equally responsible as she is.
As soon as you can see women as equals you can ask to be seen as equals. To fight for men's rights you have to fight just as equally for women's rights. Making you an all hated feminist.

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I like Kat and Bianca...

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I liked Kat. But she obviously isn't meant to be a perfect protagonist. Yes, she is rebellious, outspoken, and a typical "bad-ass rock chick" 90s girl...but she is also standoffish, intolerant of opinions that oppose hers, and judges people before she gets to know them.

Though her backstory with Joey wasn't supposed to show us that she is rebelling just because he broke up with her. She learned the hard way that conforming to society's norms doesn't mean people will accept or even like you. So she rebelled by becoming the exact opposite of what she once was, which may have been closer to her "true" personality to begin with. I guess she figured that if people weren't going to treat her nicely when she was the perfect all-American high school girl, then she might as well just act and dress however she wants because people won't treat her any better.

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