Horrible Movie
Wow- it looks like I finally have a board ALL TO MYSELF!!!!!!!!!! YAY!
Anyways, if anybody ever does read this... Let me save you 2 hours of your life that you could be using to scratch your dogs bum or something equally productive and advise you not to watch this bad BAD movie. I mean, unless you find yourself as extrodinairly bored and sick as I was as when I watched this atrosity (YES I KNOW I SPELL POORLY- but as long as I'm the only one on this board, then, my poor spelling def. doesn't bother me! :)
I mean, I had hoped upfront that it was going to be so bad it's good in the way of Killer Klowns but nope, no such luck. I mean, I was so inebriated from all the Nyquil that who knows, maybe it was Oscar winning material, but by the lack of activity on this board, then I'd have to say that's a big fat negatory...
Anyways, by way of SPOILERS, Stark is a runaway military experiment who just happens to be being pursued by Mouth from The Goonies (Corey Feldman) and winds up at the house of woman who just murdered her possibly abusive state trooper husband and drug him through the house into the bathtub... Why, why would you drag a dead corpse through the house on your white rugs when you obviously need to get rid of it? Anyways, it gets worse when the woman, Grace, strips and bathes in the shower with her dead husband (dressed in his police uniform no less) in it. The camera kept focusing on him (I guess to avoid a nudity rating) and therein made me wonder if he was gonna do a classic "dead bad guy last stand" kinda thing (ala Scream)... But no I was wrong on that one, too.
Anyways, Stark shows up and she ties him up, and then unties him, then puts her in her bed, then ties him up again, then gets mad when he gets loose. He advises her she needs to leave, that someone is after him (but he doesn't know why of course), but being the stereo-typical dumb woman she refuses and then the house gets shot up by the black clad navyseal/sniper/weirdo patrol... What really got me on these guys is that I swear on a stack of comics, that what they used for headset communication devices were what call centers use for headsets. The little earpiece part didn't wrap into their ear or anything, it was a big old walkman type speaker like the headset on your cassette player you had when you were a kid. The other speaker they just tried to hid behind their other ear...
Back to the action... The Stark guy gets all the bad guys, and then the whole story comes out... The movie tries really hard to go all "Terminator/RoboCop" on you and have you see what Stark sees, which was pretty lame... Turns out he's a sniper/police/cyborg and he's on the loose so has to be destroyed...
So there you have it... most of this horrible movie in a nutshell...
"Hi, I'm Fred. I like tacos, '71 Cabernet and my favorite color is magenta." Valley Girl