MovieChat Forums > The Sopranos (1999) Discussion > Tony could have done way better than Car...

Tony could have done way better than Carmella

posted 6 years ago by Mister Babadook (2621)
17 replies | jump to latest

Why'd he marry her and make her the one he stuck with, when he clearly loved young hot attractive women as evidence by all his affairs. Carmella just never looked attractive to me, with all the hot women Tony had affairs with it puzzles me he married Carmella who had the face of a dog.

All the other guys women looked better than Carmella, Rosalie was more attractive, Adriana was obviously more attractive, Pussy's wife was more attractive, Arty's wife was more attractive, Tony had the least attractive woman on the show. Well maybe Carmella has Johnny Sac's wife beat but thats it.

[–] thewaitress (1616) 6 years ago

Carmella is a saint! You ran her name through the mud with those comments.
Did you ever think that MAYBE he married her because of something other than looks? She's a great cook, a wonderful mother, amazing decorator, extremely kind hearted, and in my opinion, absolutely beautiful.

I can't believe you said she has the face of a dog. Hurtful and wrong, so totally wrong.

Besides, those women would have never treated Tony like Carmella did. They wouldn't have LOVED him like she did.

[–] Mister Babadook (2621) 6 years ago

Lol a saint? She sat back acting like a saint i'll give you that but she was far from it, she acted so holy and christian yet she continued to stay with a guy who murdered people because she liked all the money Tony brought in from his criminal business. She threatened a woman and used Tony being a mob boss to scare a woman into giving Meadow a college recommendation.

She knew Tony cheated on her, she knew he murdered people, she knew all about it but there was nothing Tony could do to make her leave him because she didn't wanna give up the money and fancy jewelry. Carmella liked the luxury of sitting back and doing nothing all day while Tony brought in the cash.

Sure Carmella ventured off here and there contemplating leaving Tony but she'd ALWAYS come back.

[–] Retromogul (1082) 6 years ago

Worth pointing out too that she never separated from Tony in S4 because of his mob life. She was also determined to remain in the house that crime built as if she was being independent from Tony.

In the final season, apart from a couple of asides, she very much settles into being a doormat - not even raising much of a fuss over having to hide out during the mob war. She may have been wise to Tony's cheating, but she was completely sheltered and detached from the realities of his mob life while always willing to reap its benefits (there are worse criminals than Tony she tells Dr. Melfi).
It never even crossed her mind that Tony could have been involved in Adriana's death - covering up for Christopher perhaps. I've also wondered if she would even justified Adriana's murder had she found out.

[–] SteveRes (474) 6 years ago

"Carmella is a saint!"

Is this a joke?

[–] thewaitress (1616) 6 years ago

Not at all. In my eyes, that woman can do no wrong. She is a saint. :)

[–] SteveRes (474) 6 years ago

You're Edie Falco and I claim $5 !!

[–] thewaitress (1616) 6 years ago

;)

[–] Sandman81 (1501) 6 years ago

Few things to keep in mind:

1) She was around 40 at the start of show. Maybe she was hotter when they met.
2) Tony was just starting out when they got married and didn't have any of the money or power he had when the show began.
3) She understood the life and tolerated a lot from him. She knew about many other girls and stayed with him through it. It wasn't until he screwed the one-legged Russian who was taking care of his mother and Uncle, and the girl called the house and talked to AJ that she finally had enough.
4) Much more the marrying type of girl. Especially for an Italian man. Stayed home, took care of the kids, kept a clean home, cooked, and didn't ask to many questions.
5) While she knew enough to not ask many questions, she was smart enough to understand other things about the life. Like when it was time to "Spring Clean", why cash and weapons need to be hidden around the house, what to do if the FBI comes to the door, and if she were ever hauled in by the authorities, demand your lawyer and keep your mouth shut.
6) Consider the other girls. Rosalie would be a matter of opinion as far as looks (who knows who was hotter when younger). She did way more racktion than Carm, but maybe Tony didn't care for her personality. And maybe Jackie got to her first. Adriana was way younger than Tony and already dating Chris. While Tony would definitely bang her, having a long term relationship with her would bore him, and unlike Carm, she wasn't smart enough to ask for lawyer until it was to late. Pussy's wife was kind of mousy, and Pussy was older than Tony so maybe they were already married. Tony did bang Artie's wife, but probably thought she was too bossy to stay with. Plus Charmine would want to know way to much of what was going on and never tolerate Tony's filandering.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

[deleted]

[–] captainbucky (15252) 6 years ago

You just answered your own question!

[–] Retromogul (1082) 6 years ago

First off I don't think Carmella had the "face of a dog" (are you a model by comparison?). Secondly, she was willing to tolerate all of Tony's BS, and be brought off with material goods while sitting at home and nesting.
Thirdly, the other women Tony had or didn't...

Irina: Was extremely immature and emotionally unstable.

The Female Crime Boss from Naples: She probably just wanted sex and Tony was even reluctant to take the offer as it "would be bad for business".

The Secretary He Was Banging at the Desk at Barone Sanitation: Who knows? Obviously since she didn't appear ever again it was just for the sex.

Gloria Trillo: Emotionally unstable.

Valentina La Paz: Again, showed herself to be unstable and more demanding than he liked.

Svetlana: Rejected him as high maintenance and was already engaged.

Adriana: Unavailable.

Tracee: Unavailable. Reminded him of Meadow.

Charmaine Bucco: She would never tolerate his shit and was no longer attracted to him.

Dr. Melfi: Never had a chance.

Julianna Skiff: He missed his chance and she only wanted sex.

That Hot College Girl in Vegas: Probably only wanted sex. Would assume she's too independent and a free spirit to want a relationship with him. Plus the distance between Vegas and NJ.

Assorted strippers: Would never leave Carmella for a stripper and only wanted them for sex. The strippers possibly likewise or only slept with him as some means to get ahead.

[–] Stratego (29190) 6 years ago

You think those young, hot, attractive women had affairs with him because he was so damn good-looking himself?

[–] Mister Babadook (2621) 6 years ago

Alot of them didn't even know he was a high powered mob boss, Gloria Trillo didn't. Not saying Tony was a model but he was a pretty good looking guy, built really big and tall, women find that attractive. I'm sure there was some who slept with him because they knew who he was but there was also some who had no idea what he did and they fucked him.

[–] Stratego (29190) 6 years ago

Maybe not a mob boss, but definitely an older guy with money. When he was younger he would've been expected to marry a nice, Italian girl and that's what he did.

Btw, I'm a woman and I find fat, balding Tony far from attractive. And that Gloria obviously wasn't right in the head.

[–] MIchiganJFrogg (-35) 6 years ago

[deleted]

[–] ecarle (14979) 6 years ago

Tony and Carmella married pretty young, and we learn that Livia warned Tony he would soon get bored of Carmella(though I expect Tony would have gotten bored of anyone.)

Dr. Melfi once told Tony that he wouldn't leave Carmella because "she's the only really right thing you've done in your life," and she saw Carmella as a fine wife and mother. (Of course, Dr. Melfi was pretty delusional about everything, starting with Tony.)

As for Carmella, yep, she bought into the bucks and comfort of a nice home paid for by murder and the ruination of lives in other ways(stripping, prostitution, gambling, hazardous waste dumping, phone card fraud, stock fraud, business raiding).

The key episode for Carmella is when Melfi sent her to that old Jewish psychiatrist who confronted Carmella on all of HER delusions("Take the children and run") and refused to be paid by her "blood money." Carmella -- clearly understanding her complicity in evil(she jolted at the word "Mafia") knew the price she was paying.

And yes, once Carmella realized she could NOT divorce Tony and get anything financial...she went back to doormat status.

...but that's perhaps off the OP point. Tony married Carmella for her good qualities and likely because they had sex and bonded.

Carmella -- for her part -- knew that Tony was part of a major and murderous Jersey mob family when she married him, and her parents knew, and yet they signed on for "the life." I figure that Carmella(and maybe her parents) already had the greed thing going and knew that Tony was so connected now as a post-teenager (Johnny and Uncle Junior "ran Jersey") that he'd be a big man eventually.

Which reminds me -- didn't Artie's wife reject Tony because SHE knew he was from a Mafia family? Its quite possible that a lot of the young women and their families in Tony's high school and one-semester-of-junior-college years steered way clear of Tony because of his mob family and their murdering ways.

But Carmella didn't care...she WOULD marry into that.

[–] Retromogul (1082) 6 years ago

Charmaine and Tony as we know slept toghether as teenagers. Likely Charmaine's increasing lack of interest in him grew she got older, raised a family, and ran a respectable business along with her husband - coinciding with Tony rising up the mob ladder.

Carmela in the last season really settles into being a doormat. There was no major development to her character aside from some revelations in Paris. Meadow by the end looks set to follow in her footsteps in a more modern, slightly more independent fashion.
Carmela in the end is pretty much alone with what she settled for.
The last focused shot of her as an individual in the series is in the penultimate episode, with the camera focused in on her and her fake smile after she's left alone at the table at Versuvio by Tony - not long after she was beaming to Artie and Charmaine about how great Meadow was doing.

During that shot of Carmela alone at the table, the dark part of me was feeling "serves you right". She was so detestable in the final season at times - such as her "concern" for AJ dating a working class, Puetro Rican single mother, and spilling the beans on the Vito sighting simply out of the need to gossip ("The cat's out of the bag Meadow!"). Then straight after; asking if Marie Spatafore had been tested for AIDS. Stupid idiot.