Favourite Quotes?


Rab - "Jaffa cakes on a Wednesday? Thats pure decadance!"

Local highlander - "Jet"
Rab - "Is that a fact? I thought it was a coo wi a banger up its arse"

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Gash (to chastising Kelvinside-type woman): “Why no pit a crack in yer face an make yer erse jealous !”



"S h i t happens in mysterious ways, its wonders to perform"

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Norrie: "Yer faithers goat a dart stuck in his heid son."

Burney: "So he hiz. Whit kinda score dae ye get fur that, da?"

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To a tight fisted old woman who wont give Rab some money to call for help:

"Here, heres 20 pence, go and get bupa to unpucker that face uh yours, you've got a mouth on ye like an *beep* in january!!"

"If i had a choice between her (mary doll) or michelle pfieffer i would choose.......michelle pfieffer. Course i'd have the decency to fell bad about it, cause thats the kind a' big hearted bastard a' am."

genius!



"I'm saying......i'll hurt you if you stay"

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(Upon finding a sheep "squatting" in the highland cottage)

Jamesie: Careful Rab, Wan swipe ae sheeps wing'll break yir airm!




And upon ejecting the sheep from the cottage and taking outside.

Rab: hehehe GASH! loook 'ere a goat!

Gash: Aw aye right enough da, there's nae pulling the wool o'er your eyes eh?

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I think it went something like this:

Rab: "If ye take a mans wife and weans away fae him. Whit hiv ye got?."

Jamesie: "Money and freedom!."

That makes me laugh every time. I think it was on season one episode one, I think.

There is another scene in season three where Burnie was gifted in art and he said all the flaws women have to his mother. And she said something like "aye, enough. I get the point. Is there anything good to say about us.". Then Rab stuck his heed in the door and said "Aye ye live longer" and he laughed and Mary said "Bastard!" in response.

"We’re better than Metallica. We’re better musicians, better players."

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Jamesie: Rab, You and I understand each other Rab, cos we're scum and and I may say, that as scum in my estimation, you float right to the top

Rab: Thanks very much Jamesie, that means a he'll of a lot to me

Jamesie: I know your a born waster and on a good day you could waste for Scotland...

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When he played the lottery

Mary: what numbers yae put on
Rab: 1 to 6

7-13 ended up getting drawn

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Rab remarking on how cooking in the 21st Century keeps one fit: ''You have to run to the supermarket and buy the stuff before the price goes up again then run back home and cook it before the price of the gas goes up again!''.

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