MovieChat Forums > Kiss the Sky (1999) Discussion > Women's Attitude

Women's Attitude

posted 17 years ago by homer_it
6 replies | jump to latest

Ok there is a scene in this movie of particular interest.
The scene: Jeff has a 'pointless' affair with the asian lady and Andy happened to walked into the midst of it. She got shocked and walked out. She never spoked of it. Jeff knew she was clearly upset but still did nothing coz it was 'nothing'. Later, they fought about it in Marty's bedroom. Poor Marty.

The debate they had in Marty's bedroom was an interesting one. About how ladies can never be content with what they have. They always want what they dont have. Once you give them too much of what they dont have. You can kiss her goodbye.

Jeff mentions alot of other points (He is a good debater). Most of which i cant recall at this time (will need to get the dvd and rewatch it).

Have you ever been pushed away for being far too kind? Discuss.

[–] lindsey1152 16 years ago

Sometimes being kind is seen as being weak, no one wants to be with someone weak.

[–] Norm_uk 16 years ago

Funny - why would a woman who has two men in bed with her most nights get upset when she sees one of her men with another woman?

It can't be love...love is when someone else's happiness is essential to your own - there would be no jealousy if there was real love.

But most women confuse possession, exclusivity and control with love.

N.

[–] WhiteWingeDove 15 years ago

I think she cared for Jeff more than she did for Marty (he was just part of a package deal). And I think Andy assumed that neither man was going to be hooking up with another woman. So seeing Jeff with another woman kind of shocked her and she realized she wasn't cool with it.

As far as love goes, though...I don't think it was there. If Andy did love Jeff, she wouldn't have been all over Marty after their fight to hurt him. And although I do think Jeff really cared about Andy, I think if he loved her he would have kicked Marty's butt and gone after the girl.

I do think that if they would have started with a normal relationship that didn't involve a third party, I think Jeff and Andy would have gone from caring for to loving each other. But with the initial arrangements of the relationship, there was no hope.

[–] Doctoro44 12 years ago

If you remember though, Jeff purposely guarded against falling too deeply for Andy. He wanted to leave after their first night together because he saw in her the type of woman he could fall for. The trip, as he reminded Marty, was about THEM, and not a woman. The thing that attracted her to Jeff was his ability to detach himself. She could see decency in him, but another part of him proved to be a challenge to her. He tapped into that part of a woman that wants the unattainable.

Also, I think each individual has their own idea or concept of what "love" is. The whole relationship between them was an experiment in and of itself. Jeff had a set of rules he acted under, while Andy acted on how she felt at any given moment. Marty just seemed to be along for the ride. Most of us see love as an exclusive thing between two people, but the nature of their relationship already ruled that definition out. She expected that she had the "love" of two men, yet never thought that each of them had to share one woman. And naturally, when a woman is upset, she withholds affection. So they all ended up with nothing, which is the expected outcome.

[–] LTUM 12 years ago

it can't be love...love is when someone else's happiness is essential to your own - there would be no jealousy if there was real love.

But most women confuse possession, exclusivity and control with love.

sir, that is an excellent point. very lucid, very wisely stated

drugs...changed...everything..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8MGBn3KawM&feature=related

[–] Doctoro44 12 years ago

This was actually the pivotal scene of the movie for me. It illustrated the prime differences in how women and men think. It illustrated exactly how selfish women are. All Andi cared about was how the "relationship" worked for her, and how happy SHE was. She didn't think for a second that the guys may not have been happy and satisfied. It truly shouldn't have mattered that Jeff slept with another woman, but since she was the "Apex of the Triangle" and in control, she wanted to possess and control the men. When he told her "how you feel isn't the paramount issue of life. We establish the rules, and play the game. It's called honor." For women, their feelings are paramount, but they don't consider the feelings of others.

Also, this film showed how women gravitate towards Alpha males like Jeff, while though she had affection for Marty, she wasn't drawn to him the same way because he was largely a weak man. Anytime she started rambling on, Jeff had a retort. He didn't ASK her what she wanted - he TOLD her what she wanted, and she submitted to him. Meanwhile, Marty tried to continually cut Jeff off at the knees to curry favor with Andi (a gutless move, since Jeff did the dirty work with his wife so that he could come on the trip and make some money).

This is one of my favorite films (I've watched it numerous times on cable, and have it in DVD), because despite the setting and certain plot points (them leaving their families, the "triangle" relationship), it really rang true to me regarding relationships between men and women, expectations, how we communicate (or DON'T communicate). I thought the director used those drastic actions on the part of Jeff and Marty to illustrate his point.