MovieChat Forums > 20/20 (1978) Discussion > Woman who abandoned her three kids

Woman who abandoned her three kids

posted 8 years ago by atomicseasoning
11 replies | jump to latest

The woman who abandoned her three babies in shopping bags was something else, or at least her reasoning was, but I guess she did what she thought she had to do. I'm just surprised that her older sons, who looked to have been born in the mid-1970s or so, didn't catch on that their mom was pregnant in 1981, or especially 1985 & 86 (when they were probably closer to 10), but I guess boys aren't always as observant. lol.

Still though, while watching it last night I kept expecting the story to get even more sensational. A situation like what if the biological mom had been a long term kidnap victim, like those girls from Cleveland, or the young Mother in the book/movie Room, where instead of the women keeping the children they bore in captivity, the kidnappers abandoned their victims' newborn children in dumpsters, doorsteps, stores, etc. Now THAT would've been a heartbreaking story indeed. 

[–] lambiepie-2 8 years ago

It was heartbreaking.

But I'm one of those who do not forgive the birth mother at all. Won't ever. Yes, it's judgemental, but you're reading a post from a child who knows a bit about this kinda thing -- not just a drag on the internet making a judgement.

She's nothing but a cowbird to me. I have no sympathy -- it's easy after someone else has spent their time in this to come in and "gee whiz, look how you've grown and I'm awful sorry for leaving you in paper bags". No choice? Couldn't do? In the 80s? Sure, it happens, but doing the right thing, took just this: "I can't take care of them so I need to put them up for adoption to couples and families who can". This was the 80s not the 50s. Greed was good. People put adds in underground newspapers to pay for kids, for example. Adoptive agencies too. Even in "Inglewood".

These children grew up in families that may or may not have loved them, however those families took care of them -- through it all, They bore through all the childhood pains, diseases, finances, psychologically shaped make up. So did the hospitals who took care of these kids. So did those who were part of an adoptive agency. And this woman sat back for years and lied.And..deprived the dads of being aware and allowing them a choice of the child's life. Sorry, just an opinion, but I don't forgive her or those like her.

A lion does not concern himself with the opinion of sheep.

[–] duckyslattery 8 years ago

If it were me I'd be disappointed after finding my birth mother was such a loser and did the same thing 2 other times. I'd run back to my adoptive parents.

It would be ironic if the 2 kids she actually raised didn't want to be involved with her after hearing what a horrible mother she was.

[–] BugisStreetAnnie 8 years ago

If it were me I'd be disappointed after finding my birth mother was such a loser and did the same thing 2 other times. I'd run back to my adoptive parents.

Some people were posting on the 20/20 Facebook page they believe she abandoned more than just the three kids. I wondered about that too. Maybe there were more kids she had, but only those three came forward looking for their birth mother.

She had to have been getting welfare all of that time to live in her own place, have substance abuse problems, and keep giving birth to children.

[–] lambiepie-2 8 years ago

She had to have been getting welfare all of that time to live in her own place, have substance abuse problems, and keep giving birth to children.

Let me give another perspective on this; as it is NOT the only way to go. Because if she had been on government assistance, especially in Inglewood, CA in the Reagan 80s, she would have had tons of visits from that government as well as making scheduled visits to government offices herself. Yes, she could have "hid" it but I don't think she was that great of a magician.

She could have been living off her first husband's alimony/payments, and that could have given her a reason to hide and subsequently dump the additional children. She also could have been getting money from other men, hence the tons of pregnancies, and she could have been dealing (or using her home as a haven) as well as using drugs for a while. I don't think she was on government assistance back then. (Now, she may be because of her deteriorating health.)

A lion does not concern himself with the opinion of sheep.

[–] BugisStreetAnnie 8 years ago

I don't think she was on government assistance back then. (Now, she may be because of her deteriorating health.)

I also thought she must be getting Medicaid (gov't assistance) that paid for her medical expenses.

Back in the day she may have done like people do today. If she had drug and alcohol problems she could have parlayed that into mental illness to get SSI benefits. Social Security never comes around and checks up on people. They might have a disability review every few years but that's about it. She could have stayed on benefits for years with no worry. It's quite possible she is still getting SSI. I've known people who have been on it for over 20 years.

[–] lambiepie-2 8 years ago

I've known people who have been on it for over 20 years.

Good God.

I don't consider SSI the same as 'welfare' nor is unemployment insurance...and I've gotta think back to being in California during the Reagan Administration as President, and legislation he passed as Governor of California.

I'm sure a few scammers (pros!) of government programs got to get by the rules, and that saddens me because there were plenty of folks who didn't get a dime, were turned down from work and needed SSI (especially during the AIDS epidemic and veterans who were turned out into the streets) in California and got nothing. Not just AIDS patients and vets, but terminal cancer victims, those on dialysis, etc. They got the shaft from 1981-1989 and things started to turn around in 1990-1993 for those who needed it the most in California as opposed to the "pretend" crazy. I'm sure in other states it may have been better..or as I know in New Jersey during 1979-1983 it was horrific for those folks in need to get SSI, etc. They died before their cases got heard or reviewed.

As I said before, people like this woman utterly disgust me; and I have zero sympathy for them.

A lion does not concern himself with the opinion of sheep.

[–] BugisStreetAnnie 8 years ago

I'm sure a few scammers (pros!) of government programs got to get by the rules, and that saddens me because there were plenty of folks who didn't get a dime, were turned down from work and needed SSI (especially during the AIDS epidemic and veterans who were turned out into the streets)

Yes, it's very sad. That happened to a former employer of mine. This was in 1997 and he was HIV and had cancer. He applied for federal disability (SSDI) and kept getting denied. He eventually died.

I don't understand it, either, because I've known people who had drug, alcohol or mental problems and they applied for SSI (state welfare for the disabled) and they got approved on their first attempt. One worked part-time for about 5 years, and the other rarely worked at all. Maybe only a few months. Ironically, they both told me they weren't really disabled. One got approved in 1987, I think it was, in Illinois and the other was in Texas.

[–] lambiepie-2 8 years ago

I am so sorry to hear about your employer...but that's what ticks me off.

I had family (in New Jersey at the time), Friends (in Philadelphia, New Jersey and California), teachers, etc who had cancer, diabetes with complications & AIDS back in the 80s to 90s...and they all passed away before getting any assistance. Going through red tape, sure. Even back to 2014, a family member had serious diabetes complications, sores, kidney problems, partial blindness, couldn't get his medicine because he couldn't afford it because no one would hire him... and he lived in Arizona and kept getting denied for SSI. He died while on 3rd appeal, it was the 4th of July. Still hurts.

But let some trollop have a baby...they get through the system lickety-split. It's not fair...and seeing stories like this...just makes me angrier.

A lion does not concern himself with the opinion of sheep.

[–] duckyslattery 8 years ago

A person with kids seems to go to the front of the line.

[–] AmyJolamb 8 years ago

This was a very heart breaking story. I don't think anyone can really understand why this woman did what she did. I feel bad for the sons she kept. It would be hard to accept your mom gave birth and abandoned siblings.

[–] pypsqweek 8 years ago

Im thinking the sons werent happy because they werent included in the interview, which they should have been. However not if they wanted to do it