Everytime she wanted something and didnt get it she threw a tantrum....then they give in....what the hell....yeah that's great parenting!! Retarted or not you do not give into everything kids want..I really hate the message this sends...
I love a friend who let's me call them f*%kface! :)
I agree, but that is how the movie tells us that Carla's mom doesn't know how to handle things...
I hated this movie for so many other reasons though.
I posted this message ages ago but just thought I'd update it.
The point of the movie is that Carla is mentally disabled! She has the patience and problem solving of a small child and doesn't know how to act appropriately in public so of course she's going to appear to be a brat.
I know. Here she is, trying to prove to her parents that she's mature enough to have her own apartment, go to school, get a job and get married. And then she turns around and throws a hissy fit, just because her mother is trying to explain to her that marriage is serious business and that it's not something to go into lightly.
Don't get me wrong. I love the character. But the tantrum she threw at her sister's wedding reception was too much.
well, it was just a movie. And She WAS mentally challenged.
I'm filipino.I have gerontophilia & I have a crush on GEorge Bush!!!
>>the tantrum she threw at her sister's wedding reception was too much.<<
Exactly -- who the heck is she to decide that she MUST discuss her wedding plans during her sister's reception? what kind of maturity and consideration for others is that?
why does someone who's supposed to be treated like a mature adult also get to be rude, demanding and self-centered?
she can't have it both ways if she really wants equal treatment
thats because of what her mother said and it was def not a tantrum at all, so this is fairly normal
shareI agree, it annoyed me that she wanted to be more "independent and grown up" and yet she reverted to tantrums when she didn't get her way, the scene where Carla stormed off in the sprinklers during the reception didn't fit with Carla "growing up".
shareHer mother was an overprotective & controlling low life. Oviously you support locking disabled people in their rooms and keeping their. If you want to spew Nazi talk, go to a site that supports it.
I've had a pain in the a$$ for the past 45 years! You got any soup for that?
Her mother was the only one who tried to get Carla the highest-quality help she could -- in the very beginning of the movie when the dad was flash-backing, he's drunk and mom reminds him Carla nearly set the house on fire. the place she found was highly recommended but very limited family visits and no home visits, think mom wanted that?
she wasn't trying to lock her up for life, she gave her the best chance money could buy to get some structured education tailored to her needs before she reached adulthood
But she couldn't find a place in bay area? She couldn't find a place where she could visit instead of abandoning her daughter?
shareI agree. I sympathized with her mother. She knew Carla needed help, didn't gloss over it and I lame her for worrying about her going out on her own with Daniel. God forbid those two had kids.
share[deleted]
Speaking of characters who are brats, what about Heather? The reason I call her a brat is because she basically attempted to manipulate her family into accepting her lesbian relationship. Remember the wedding rehearsal scene, when she announced that Caroline's wedding may be the very last family function she'd attend without Michelle?
In other words, she was saying: "Accept my relationship with another woman, or you'll never see me again." So basically, she threatened to punish her family if they refused to cave in to her demands. Not only was she wrong for attempting to force her family into accepting her lifestyle, but she had no right to pull this stunt at her sister's wedding rehearsal. The timing and the setting were completely inappropriate. I don't blame Caroline for getting angry. The wedding rehearsal was just that: A wedding rehearsal. It was not an appropriate venue for her sisters to whine about their relationships.
And unfortunately, there are people out there who pull stunts like the one Heather pulled on her family. They'll stop at nothing in their attempts to legitimize their "alternative lifestyles," even going so far as to threaten to cut their loved ones out of their lives if they (the loved ones) refuse to accept their (the people who are doing the threatening) lifestyles. One would think that people who spread the message about "love, tolerance and acceptance" would practice what they preach!
Sorry. I just needed to get that off of my chest. For some reason, I really got irritated the last time I watched the wedding rehearsal scene.
Heather wanted to have her significant other, who wasn't "allowed" because she's lesbian, join her -- so what's so odd about that? Most people in love, gay or straight, want their boyfriend/girlfriend to be their date/escort etc at important functions, gatherings, holidays.
Her mother was a hypocrite and a bigot and Heather had obviously had it with trying to play the good daughter. Reference when leaving for the Christmas party she couldn't even mention her girlfriend without her mother turning her off, even the esteemed perfect middle daughter got annoyed with her big sister when all she did was stand her ground about her relationship being important.
I was also surprised that she chose to announce her feelings at the rehearsal dinner, but Carla's add-on complaint about not having anyone to dance with was ridiculous.
I'd agree that the lesbian daughter sub-plot just didn't work that well in this movie because when it did show up, one minute it was subtle, the next it was over-bearing and out of place.
Heather wanted to have her significant other, who wasn't "allowed" because she's lesbian, join her -- so what's so odd about that? Most people in love, gay or straight, want their boyfriend/girlfriend to be their date/escort etc at important functions, gatherings, holidays.
RE: >>Wanting her significant other to join her is one thing. But she basically attempted to force her family to accept her relationship<<
No, she didn't. At the wedding rehearsal she said this may be the very last family function she attends without Michelle. She did not say she was going to avoid the family altogether, ex-communicate herself and never visit them again, she just made it clear that she wanted her date/significant other with her at important and special times like any other young adult would.
She had obviously given them some time, reference the pre-Christmas party conversation with Mom. She never visited with her girlfriend -- for Carla's homecoming, birthday party, Thanksgiving, Christmas dance, etc perfect middle daughter Caroline got to bring her boyfriend/fiance along.
Saying she didn't want to be at any more functions without her girlfriend isn't the same as forcing her on them, its saying she wanted the person she cared about and who was special in her life to share those very significant events with her, something that even Carla respected and the father obviously had no problem with either.
>>Everytime she wanted something and didnt get it she threw a tantrum....then they give in<<
Thank-you and I always noticed the same thing
First off, she comes from a wealthy family, so how difficult is life as in there are others who struggle with the same issues and don't have a crud-load of mommy and daddy's money to fall back on.
But it was annoying, irksome and tiresome for the movie to try to play it like she was just earnestly striving so innocently to live an independent life and her "awful" mother wouldn't let her. Her first night back during her welcome home dinner she insists on discussing her future plans, her mom is made to look like an ogre for squelching it. Yet its also played off as cute and dismissive when Carla abruptly asks her sister if she and her fiance "did it" yet -- since when is such dinner-time conversation the sign of a mature responsible person.
If she truly wanted to be treated like a mature responsible adult, or someone becoming one, others did need to let her know and make it clear when her behavior was inappropriate.
That awful behavioral outburst at the country-club holiday party was another example. Her parents and family including the meanie-positioned mother let her stupid acting boyfriend wander off, get drunk, rudely interrupt and take-over the mike, all listening politely to give him a chance and any truly mature responsible person who pulled a stunt like that only to turn it into complete humiliation and embarrasment would have been escorted out pronto.
why was it OK to demand that she must discuss her own wedding plans during her sister's reception?
One moment she's supposed to be treated exactly the same as everyone else, the next time she behaves inappropriately she's supposed to be cut some slack -- so which is it, why does she get to live in the best of both worlds? Why was it OK for her to marry when she and her boyfriend combined couldn't possibly support themselves?
I have a family relative with a behavioral disability and we learned a long time ago that disciplined expectations have helped him grow a lot further towards truly being self-sufficient and taking responsibility for his own actions then molly-coddling him and constantly excusing his irregularities while enabling him to live life on his own terms
mswoc:
"
That awful behavioral outburst at the country-club holiday party was another example. Her parents and family including the meanie-positioned mother let her stupid acting boyfriend wander off, get drunk, rudely interrupt and take-over the mike, all listening politely to give him a chance and any truly mature responsible person who pulled a stunt like that only to turn it into complete humiliation and embarrasment would have been escorted out pronto.
why was it OK to demand that she must discuss her own wedding plans during her sister's reception?
One moment she's supposed to be treated exactly the same as everyone else, the next time she behaves inappropriately she's supposed to be cut some slack -- so which is it, why does she get to live in the best of both worlds? Why was it OK for her to marry when she and her boyfriend combined couldn't possibly support themselves?"
Because it is a Garry Marshall flick. THAT is why.
all she wanted was a normal life...what the hell you are a brat. that is what parents do to kid with disabilities, or at least should.
shareFirst of all, to the OP (I know this was a year ago, but I cannot believe someone hasn't caught it yet)...'retard' is not the word. I'm sure you've got something wrong with you, you don't want anyone else to point that out to you, right? I mean, are you ugly? Fat? Deaf? Stupid? Are you a retard? Black? I mean, not to sound racist (seriously, I'm not racist), but black people cannot help being black. White? People cannot help that either! Do you have glasses? Acne? Freckles? Big Ears? Scars? Wheelchair? Braces? Do you have anything that's deformed? Heh, I bet you do. But, you're still a human. Mentally challenged people cannot help being the way they are. So, here you go: Go look into a mirror...and actually look at everything. I'm sure you'll see imperfections. Do you have regrets? I bet you do, no one's perfect. People have feelings, even the 'retarded' ones. Why don't you call yourself some names just to see how it feels...repeat after me: "I, mariannala, am one ugly fat bitch. I know I have imperfections, but I never point out my own, I just like to make other people's lives miserable. I'm not perfect, so before I put everyone else down, I'll put myself down. I am a disgrace, I want to vomit from just looking at myself. I am a Bitch."
See how that feels? Yeah, not good.
Secondly, I know that Carla was a brat, but she didn't really know any better. My brother is very mentally handicapped, and he acts very similar to Carla. Carla is what, 22-25 years old, but her MIND is stuck at a very young age. My brother is 22 years old and his mind is set at 10 years old. That's a very sad thing. The thing with Carla's mother giving in...is just so Carla wouldn't make a much bigger scene, Carla cannot help it. She may know what she's saying, but she doesn't know how she's acting. She cannot help it.
So, you all have no idea what it's like to have a mentally handicapped person in your life, you'd understand if you did.
Fear is the enemy of logic.-Frank Sinatra
R.I.P. George Carlin