MovieChat Forums > Absolutely (1989) Discussion > Post your favourite Jokes / Sketches

Post your favourite Jokes / Sketches

posted 16 years ago by musicbymartin
5 replies | jump to latest

Seems a pretty low-population board, considering what a great show it was and that it ran for 4 series.
Just to test the water, post details of your favourite Absolutely Joke or sketch.

this one sticks in my mind as brilliantly surreal (I have to paraphrase it)

Announcer (in a very high-pitched Scottish accent): "We regret to announce the sad death of John McIntosh who for 30 years was the announcer of obituries and memorials on television. His respectful nature and commanding voice will be sorely missed!"

I've been in the group for years and I know, he always listens.

[–] Littlebitsofgaming 16 years ago

Trousers, I'm wearing trousers.
You probably don't know what they are.

God didn't create man, man created God

[–] xebede 15 years ago

Nice family dad proposing a nice alternative to the football chant "You're gonna get yer *beep* head kicked in" of "You're going to get shaken warmly by the hand"

[–] phritzz 15 years ago

Must be Calum Gilhooley in the postoffice.
-"they dont call me Hawkeye Gilhooley... At all..."

-"Weight?"
-"allright"
-"No, Weight!"
-"Im Waiting!"
-"no, how much do you weigh?"
-"with or without me anorak? 13 stone... for both...its a lightweight anorak..Bit of a trick question is it?"

[–] xyl_54 13 years ago

"What's the name?
"Calum Gilhooley
"Can you spell that?
"Yes
"No, you need to spell it out for me
"Oh, right, then...it's G, for gnome...

and in the same sketch, enquiring about flights to New York

"You depart 1pm , arriving at Kennedy airport at 3pm
"That's quick
"No, the flight is 7 hours, but they're 5 hours behind; you gain five hours
"I'll take it!

[–] xyl_54 13 years ago

and

"How long have you known Mr Gilhooley?
"Since the beginning of time...

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