Saw this on another board and its hilarious, I'll start.
1. Never Throw off an emperors Groove.
2. You can survive a fall over a waterfall with sharp rocks on the bottom as long as you are tied to a tree.
3. Never serve a potion to an emperor unless you're the emperor's advisor.
4. Peasants made excellent partners to travel.
5. Never send an advisor's partner to do a getting-rid-of-the-empeoror-and-taking-control-over-the-kingdom job
6. Potions will turn people into animals; not just llamas
7. Giving CPR to a llama can be also known as "The Kiss of Life"
8. If you have a little sibling such as Tipo and Chaca for example, they won't stop bickering at you such as "Na-huh! Na-huh! Na-huh! Na-Huh!"
9. It's cool to do the llama dance after you save a friend's life from falling off a cliff.
10. Restaurants such as Mudka's Hut serve terrible food. Yech!
I am who I am, you can't change that!
11. You need hands to shake hands.
_______________________
"I don't get mad. I get stabby."
12. If you get turned into a cow, you are allowed to leave work early.
share13. You are invisible if you whistle your own theme
share14. To save money on postage, just poison someone instead of turning them into a flea, putting them into a box, putting that box into a box, mailing it to yourself and slashing it with a hammer.
15. We don't know why Yzma even has that lever.
16. The peasant at the diner! He didn't pay his check.
17. Izma never liked Kronk's spinach puffs.
Finales this week:
The Biggest Loser: 6/10
Grey's Anatomy: 10/10
Lost: 500/10
[deleted]
22. An old woman smeared in honey and covered in feathers is easily mistaken for a piñata
23. Dropping a chandelier on somebody usually works
24. Monkeys eat bugs
25. The palace didn't order a giant trampoline
26. Old men are rebels
DON'T SMILE, YOU'VE BROKEN YOUR NECK!
27. One angel will take you down the path of righeousness, but the other will take the path that rocks.
28. Kronk still has 94 monkeys to go.
29. By all accounts, Kronk and Yzma shouldn't have beat Kuzco and Pacha to the palace.
30. If you've been turned into a cow, you're excused.
"I called you in."
"Why, because your spidey-sense tells you she was a rape victim?"
31. It's not okay to knock down a door if it's made of real Mohagany wood.
32. A balloon loudly exploding will not wake up a herd of jaguars. However, screaming will.
33. If you insult a Restaurant chef long enough, he will pack his suitcases and leave. And if you happen to be within a few feet of where he was when he left, you are the new chef. You don't even have to sign up.
34. It is possible for a person to be a great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great aunt and still be alive.
35. If you are chasing someone and get shocked by lightning, you will still arrive at your destination before they do.
__________________
HOLY TESTICLE TUESDAY
32. they actually had "change of address forms" back in those days..
33. If your falling off a cliff, hope a flock of bats come buy, fly into your mouth, and catapult you back up to the top..
34. you learn how to play "exotic bird bingo"..
36. The emperor doesn't deal with peasants.
37. You'd rather be dead than watch Yzma stripping.
38. Bugs are a good lunch for chimps, spiders, men and everyone.
39. Kuzco doesn't like his own brides - but the wife of another man is pretty ^^
40. Beware of the Grooooove....
____________________________________________________
Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
41. Cheese me no likey
42. No touchee
43. Its a harp.
44. Order a giant trampoline. You never know when you might need it.
45. Yes Yzma, that is YOUR voice
46. Making random squeeks will give you the ability to converse with squirrells :)
47. YAY im a llama again.... wait :/
48. DEMON LLAMA!!!!
49. Yzma is living proof that dinosaurs once roamed the earth
50. Pacha's kids have prophetic dreams
51. "What are the odds of that trap door leadin' me out here?"
52. Scary beyond all reason will automatically make you think of Yzma
53. It's a shame that Kuzco will be dead before desert because its going to be delicious :/
54. Anything can sound bad when you say it with an attitude
55. If there's no Kuzco, there's no Kuzcotopia.
share56. A hungry crocodile will run away wimpering at the slightest act of agression.
57. Always label your poisons.
58. It is unwise to be rude to squirrels.
Your FACE is a signature!
59:A fly getting eaten is the freakist think Kuzco ever saw
60:It's a robe, not a dress
61:The little devil has a point
62:From above the wicked receive their just reward, unless their skinny
63: The first step in CPR is slapping the victim about the face.
share[deleted]
68. This film is totally crap.
69. I am 10 minutes into it now and I will never get those minutes back.
How about we ignore beresfordjd? Said poster is obviously an insipid, self-satisfied troll.
68. If the devil on your shoulder possesses mildly acrobatic talent, you should listen to him.
This is my sig. Click it. You know you want to.
http://www.papertoilet.com/
69. This is hand-carved mahogany.
70. No, no. He's got a point.
71. Hate your hair.
72. Not likely.
73. Yikes.
74. Yikes yikes.
75. And, let me guess, you've got a great personality.
[deleted]
78. IMDB user beresfordjd is a troll and wouldn't know a good movie if it hit him/her in the head.
79. The word "BEGONE!" is an effective way to end hallucinations of shoulder Dieties.
80. Kuzco's survival has come back to haunt Kronk.
81. Pacha isn't really a big fat guy, otherwise that would of been really difficult.
82. There is some good in everyone.
83. "Booyeah!!" is an effective battlecry.
84. Hypoglycemia (Low Blood Sugar) is not a medical deficiency, but a curse. It also plagues Kuzco.
85. Yzma hates the jungle, and has ruined her best shoes.
86. The people responsible for ruining Kuzco's life are Yzma, Pacha, and Kronk.
Never argue with an idiot, they'll only drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
89. Pacha is not to be trusted because he comes to the aid of an old man whom Kuzco had thrown out of a window.
Your FACE is a signature!
90. Cheese me no likey.
91. Don't listen to the angel. He's got that silly stringy music thing.
92. Doing a headstand is a good moral point.
93. Don't you mean or?
94. Following Kuzco into the jungle makes Pacha ugly AND stupid.
95. Falling on Yzma's tiny vial of cat potion causes a mushroom cloud.
96. Having the ass of a llama is sexy as long as you're wearing a curly wig.
97. Pacha did that on purpose.
98. There's nothing on the menu that isn't swimming in gravy.
99. Pacha's CPR attempt was DEES. GUS. TING.
100. Eating a bug isn't as impressive as a loose tooth. FHFHFHFHFH
87. Squirrels are pretty good at making balloon animals
share76. Kuzco doesn't care for girls with good personalities.
77. Never have levers that lead to alligator pits.
78. Always have a man who can speak squirrel when in the woods.
~ "Don't. Touch. The cap." -Alvin ~
101: The ability to do a handstand trumps all other arguments in any dispute.
102: Never listen to a little man in a robe with a harp. He'll just lead you down the path of righteousness. Listen to the little man who'll take you down the path that rocks.
103: Shortly after firing a long-time and obviously power-hungry adviser, an emperor will gladly and unsuspectingly go to have dinner with her and her assistant without bringing an official food-taster along. Not only that, but the emperor won't get a red flag when the aforementioned adviser says to her assistant "get the emperor his drink", and the assistant replies "drink... riiiiight" with a wink.
104: There were change of address forms in the Inca Empire.
105: Never go out to eat in an Incan restaurant.
106: If a squirrel offers you an acorn, just take it.
107: In case you're new to the whole rescuing thing, getting rescued only to end up tied to a tree is generally considered a step backwards from being cornered on a cliff edge by a pack of panthers.
108: A handshake isn't considered a morally binding agreement if one of the parties to the handshake doesn't technically have hands.
109: It would be kinda awkward to have an emperor return to his palace in the form of a talking llama after being declared dead, especially if the eulogy has already been delivered.
110: Never get into a fight with a llama when you're both dangling from a flimsy rope bridge high above a river full of alligators.
111: There's time for coffee breaks even in the middle of high-profile assassinations.
112: Throwing off an emperor's groove is punishable with being tossed out a window.
113: Dropping a chandelier on someone usually works.
114: If you're chasing an emperor and a peasant, the trail will sometimes be marked by red squares unintentionally left on the ground with their footprints.
115: Getting into a debate with shoulder deities in the presence of other people carries with it the risk of having one's cooking insulted.
116: Chefs lose their sleep over the knowledge that a customer didn't pay his check. Always pay the check, especially if you're involved in transporting a deposed emperor back to his palace and your chef is involved in trying to assassinate him.
"When a man tells you he got rich through hard work, ask him: Whose?"
- Rousseau
117. Dinner is not acceptable before completing the murder of a leader of a civilization, however dessert is especially when accompanied by coffee.
share118: The sight of a spider eating a talking fly is the freakiest thing you'll ever see.
-------------------------------------
Former username Kawada_Shogo
119. Yzma is scary beyond all reason.
120. Always label levers and potions.
121. Being turned into a kitten makes your voice considerably higher, but being turned into anything else doesn't affect it at all.
122. From above, the wicked shall receive their just reward.
123. You can tie long hair back by just licking your hand and smoothing it.
124. Panthers sleep with bones.
125. Kronk is big, dumb AND tone-deaf, but very loveable.
126. Spinach puffs are so easy to make.
127. There IS no handle!
There's not? Are you sure?
128. Yzma's no spring chicken. And I mean that in the best possible way.