How the fuck are there aliens that look exactly like humans in a "Galaxy far far away"?

"Don't bring God and religion and all of that bullcrap into this."

Your non sequitur is dismissed.

"They're ALIENS. PREHISTORIC aliens, at that."

Aliens and humans are not mutually exclusive, dumbass. If a human is born on a planet other than Earth, the human is an alien from the perspective of humans born on Earth.

"And by a trillion-to-one chance, they sound exactly alike."

In-universe they are not speaking English, nor does it sound like English (obviously, because sounding like English is English). I already told you that the English is for the audience's benefit (so that we don't hear gibberish for the whole movie). If you're confused by this concept, which isn't exactly rocket science, one of the original-cast Star Trek movies illustrates it by having the fictional alien language fade to English.

Lol look at the shill dupe accounts replying to themselves.

It's the same thing on Star Trek. Apparently Vulcan is just one giant desert planet, all vulcans dress and talk the same, and there are no variations between countries, locations, etc. Every planet is just one giant culture with no diversity in and of itself.

Science. SCIENCE!!!

Irrelevant to the point. Its called convergent evolution. Many SF authors have used the concept.

Now, personally, while I hold to the convergent concept working: that is that some, not all or even most, non-Terran species can take a humanoid shape there will be differences, some of them profound.

However, in movies and tv there is the problem of budget. All the Star Treks, for instance, especially the Original series, suffer from this.

Latter Star Trek series were able to do it better, though there were still plenty of non-Terran species who looked exactly like Terrans.

The Star Wars movies had the luxury of large budgets and we see far more species with widely divergent physiologies. Even so, the audience, which will be entirely Terran, will identify better with human characters which is why most of the speaking roles are human.

Now, I would love more variation. Farscape was better at this, though still not perfect.

However, I can extend my suspension of disbelief to cover this issue.