MovieChat Forums > The Deep End of the Ocean (1999) Discussion > Did anyone else dislike grown up Ben?

Did anyone else dislike grown up Ben?

posted 8 years ago by pennilayne
4 replies | jump to latest

It kind of annoyed me how ungrateful he was to his biological family. He doesn't have to be all happy and on board immediately. Especially if he was court ordered from the life he knew. And forced to live with them. BUT, the way he acted towards them was pretty rude most of the time, and he didn't even try get to know them. His "dad" lived right around the corner. So how bout you chill out and at least be nice to your actual BLOOD family, and talk to them with at least respect. There was maybe one scene he was nice to his mom. I get it was the dumbest thing she could do losing him and also rushed to make him leave his home but they treated him really well, and were just happy to see him. I understand you'd be confused and uncomfortable at first but honestly like, I would imagine when you have blood relatives you would have an innate bond with them. And feel happy and appreciative to find out you have two parents and two siblings. He acted like a spoiled brat, like the last thing he ever wanted was to even get to know them. And it goes either way in whether he'd remember them or not. Most of the time children would but in this book and movie he supposedly only remembers Vincent. Which I didn't find realistic because the way Beth described him in the beginning she said he was very vocal, and sang songs over and over, and babbled to himself. Those are signs of being pretty smart of you are that communicative. And he seemed close to his mom and brother. I have memories from when I was that age, if they are just flashes I have a TON of memories. And I would imagine if I were kidnapped maybe a lot of them would be suppressed but the brain is a powerful thing, once they were back in his life I find it hard to believe more memories wouldn't flood back, more than just of his brother.I also wish they cast someone different than Ryan Merriman. I like Ryan Merriman (now) but back then he was going through a chubby stage and didn't fit in with his biological families looks at all and wasnt that great of an actor either. I just didn't like grown up Ben. His mom was depressed for years for her mistake and missed him and at the end of the film he basically states hes only going to come around and visit to get to know Vincent. Not to get to know his real parents or sister. So that last scene isnt heart warming to me. It is when Vincent is honest about his feelings, but not how Ben reacts and what he says. He still never cared about his family except Vincent.

[–] CookieDragon 8 years ago

Sam was only 12, he got whisked away from everything he knew. He had learned that his mother wasn't his real mother and that she had kidnapped him, after having dealt with her suicide. Then having to come to terms that the only father he knew wasn't actually his father. All that alone would be traumatic enough.
Then he is put with this other family. Blood family or not, they were still strangers. I wouldn't blame Sam for being angry, awkward, or ungrateful, etc, at all. Having to deal with that as an adult, someone with more worldly experience, that has more logical and reasonable thinking, would still be incredibly hard, so imagine how a child would cope with it.
Besides, on a separate note, I think it was admirable and very selfless and kind to take Sam back to George. It killed and devastated her but I think I would do the same thing. The life Sam had was the only life he knew. And the fact that that life was only a few blocks away must have been even harder to leave. I would've suggest Sam stay with George but would ask if I could still be in his life, let him get used to the family slowly.

I really think it's unfair to call Sam a brat after everything he's been through. If anything, it's natural and completely understandable.

[–] sunchick116-872-583383 8 years ago

no it is not natural and completely understandable. he was old enough to understand right from wrong and all he did the whole movie was give excuses. 'oh my mom was sick. she didn't know what she was doing'. oh shut up! yes she did. a mature child would understand and denounce his kidnapped family. his 'father' was a real ass too. gave the family no chance at all to bond with their son and constantly was nosing around.

[–] prometheus1816 7 years ago

There is a fantastic episode of the show "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" from season three called "Stolen". That episode was sort of like this film, but I think better because in one hour of television, we got to see the toll this type of thing can have on everyone involved.

Plot:
The kidnapping of an infant at a grocery store leads to a scheme of snatching and selling babies for adoption which brings back a case from 12 years ago that involved Captain Cragen and his partner, the late Max Greevey. Ultimately the case leads to a painful custody battle in which the detectives are on the adopted family's side and Cabot herself acts as their lawyer in an attempt to help. The adoptive parents do lose the case, but the judge requests the father make arrangements for the adoptive parents to have contact with the child which the father does seem like he's going to do.

My feeling on this film, however, is mixed. I love Treat Williams but I feel they didn't tap the deeper emotions that SVU episode did so well. I feel they were too concentrated on the family and Vincent, that the father who Sam knew, John Kapelos' character, was largely left undeveloped. We should have seen a custody case and something a little more than fingerprints used to identify whether the kid was the Cappadora's biological kid. The whole story was too "neat" and "tidy" in how Sam in the end decided to be with his "bio" family. There should have been a custody case and we should have been shown that kid was actually Ben. Yes there was a strain on the family, but I didn't buy the whole thing of the hows and whys. There should have been more of an effort to give a longer reaching story like the SVU episode did better. In the end of that episode the boy, Tyler, was removed from the only family he ever knew and given back to the biological father, but Tyler didn't want to go because he loved "his" family, the parents and brothers he'd grown up with. There was also the angle of the grandparents of the murdered biological mother who never gave up on "Stephen Talmage" the name the child would have had. There was also the story of the ex-wife of the bio dad who stole the child and put him up for adoption. So I think this film failed on many fronts because I really couldn't get an emotional investment on any of them. While I think all the actors did a good job, I love Jonathan Jackson from "General Hospital", Treat Williams is one of my all time favourite actors, Ryan Merriman, John Kapelos, Michelle Pfeiffer and Whoopie Goldberg all did an admirable job with the material, but it failed miserably. And again, I recommend that episode SVU. The acting and story were above par for an hour of television. The standout performances were from Dann florek who played Captain Don Cragen and the kid who played Tyler, Ian Cronin.

Sometimes my ruminations are too confusing for someone not inside my head. -Anon

[–] Faridah (1328) 6 years ago

No. My heart ached for him. I couldn’t imagine what he was going through