MovieChat Forums > McCinsey's Island (2000) Discussion > Natural Justice

Natural Justice

posted 20 years ago by Benjamin_Cox
12 replies | jump to latest

Having seen this movie and reviewed it (under a different name), I am becoming increasingly convinced that this is the worst movie ever made. And I'm not just saying that - I truely believe that even Alan Smithee will have a hard time trying to top this pile of dog dirt.

However, where is it on the IMDB bottom 100 movies? Nowhere because only sixty-odd people have bothered to voice their disgust at this drivel (at time of writing). Hence, I am beginning a campaign to get the requisite number of votes so this movie can complete along other gems such as "Mr Nanny" and "Santa With Muscles". I don't have an anti-Hulk Hogan personality - what he did to popularise sports-entertainment first introduced me to WWE. It's just this film that I violently object to.

So if you have it in the goodness of your hearts and if you can stomach the sheer awfulness of this picture, please... vote for this movie so it can be hailed in its rightful place. If you survive, make sure other people watch it too and make sure they vote as well. This picture needs to be recognised as the new low point of film making and the sooner, the better. Before rumours of a sequel begin, kill this franchise before it learns to walk.

Thank you for your time and do your duty to Hollywood (CA, not Hogan).

"As if by magic..."

[–] agsconnolly 20 years ago

I feel compelled to add my support to these initial comments. This movie is certainly among the worst ever made.

The story moves at such hyper-slow pace that it surely could not command the attention of its target audience (kids) for long enough to offer any sort of entertainment. Also, Hulk Hogan - whilst his usual wooden, uncomfortable self on the big screen - is totally under utilized as the brave hero. In fact, in a proposterous final scene he is unable to land a convincing blow on Paul Wight, yet Robert Vaughn's ludicrous character appears and fells the enemy with a small pebble, totally undermining any pretense that Hogan's character is a hardened tough guy.

However, I feel that such analysis pays the film too much credit. Some people would say that Grace Jones should not be allowed to speak in movies. I would suggest that she should not be permitted to talk or breathe in everyday life, particularly after this performance which makes the bad guys in other Hogan flicks 'Suburban Commando' and 'Mr.Nanny' seem like Denzel Washington in 'Training Day'.

It is hard to express the emotions felt whilst watching this film. It's not something you can just sit in front of and allow to wash over you in its awfulness. On the contrary, I found my mind working at an incredible rate: Who's idea was this? How did someone allow themselves to actually write their name on the commission? Has a film ever been produced on a lower budget?

Indeed, one mitigating factor is that - barring Hogan's no doubt astronomical pay-off - this film probably cost next-to-nothing to make. There are only three areas used in the 'jungle' and these are a small clearing, three trees (used repeatedly) and a short stretch of river. It's not out of the question that the entire thing was shot at Hogan's mansion on a Sunday morning.

But I agree with Mr. Ben. The blame for this foul mess should not be placed on Hogan's shoulders, nor those of Robert Vaughn, who has finally been revealed as the terrible ham he is, nor, even, those of Grace Jones. It is our fault. Everyone who sat there and watched it and made a fuss of it. We have unwittingly raised its profile to an unsettling level.

So, by all means vote it into the Bottom 100. Just don't tell anybody.

[–] Benjamin_Cox 20 years ago

Good for you, sir! I must confess that I too also had various ideas about the film itself rather than the excuse-for-a-story being played about before me. It was a similar sensation when I was dragged to Leicester Square and forced to watch (and pay for) the diabolical "Stigmata". All I could think whilst the movie was playing was "I'm paying £10 to see this crap?". Thankfully, I caught this film on one of the minor movie channels when Sky had a couple for showing decent films and twelve for showing rubbish such as this. Hey, I was unemployed at the time, it was raining...

However, I refuse to take the blame for this. Had been involved in the production, I would have held my hand high and said "You know, guys, that we've got a real stinker here." But no. Far from the mad crowd that produced this, I'm holding each and every cast and crew member responsible for inflicting this pain on the world. Especially Paul "Big Show" Wight, who was probably of the impression that this would do to his career what "The Mummy Returns" did for the Rock's. Sing it loud, sing it proud - This Movie Sucks!

"As if by magic..."

[–] crawfrordboon 19 years ago

Ok so I never saw 'Santa With Muscles.' I've seen worse, including from the Hulkster himself, but it can't really be defended. I gave it a 4 for the unintentional humour, and the chemistry that Hulk and Robert Vaughn have together. Oh and the presence of Paul 'The Giant' Wight and Grace 'MayDay' Jones. Star quality.

I'm in the market for a DVD of this. Anyone have any ideas where I could pick one up? Oh and at the same time where can i get some original Jefferson Starship records?

P.S. - I thought the ending was really bad, with Grace Jones on the waterskis, she just walked up to Hulk and got captured, having previously attempted to shoot him and Vaughn. (Shrugs).

[–] Benjamin_Cox 19 years ago

Humour? If it's unintentional humour then it's down to bad movie making and not a lucky coincidence. It's certainly not a reason to give a film positive marks. I demand that you rectify your vote for this - that's only going to make my mission harder! And since when have Paul "The Big Show" Wight and Grace Jones registered anything more than a blip on the scale of celebrity stardom? However, your comment are Jefferson Starship offers enough insight into your mental stability for us to question your motives.

"As if by magic..."

[–] crawfrordboon 19 years ago

No I won't apologise. I won't retract. McCinsey's Island in fact had to potential to be a great movie, instead of a good one. Think about it: Hulk Hogan, Grace Jones, Robert Vaughn, Paul Wight. Where else would you get a cast like that? Also I don't think the sense of humour was unintentional. Tongues are very much in cheek all along, especially Vaughn.

In fairness I can see why you hate it but there's a lot worse out there, mostly because they takes themselves seriously - see a post-2000 Seagal movie for instance.

[–] Benjamin_Cox 18 years ago

Far be it for me to champion any Steven Seagal movie (I'd rather undergo radiotherapy for testicular cancer), I still believe that this movie is just apalling. There are some movies that are almost deliberately made poorly, in order to achieve some sort of notorioty. Why are films such as "Anaconda" and "The Avengers" not included on the IMDB's bottom 100 list, despite having an enormous reputation for being down-right shoddy rubbish?

However, "McCinsey's Island" is not one of these films. It is apparent to most viewers that no effort was made on the part of the "actors", crew, writers, directors or producers. Vaughn is a naturally hammy actor anyway, Grace Jones will probably take any work available these days and Hogan & Wight are wrestlers, not actors. I'll tell you exactly where you can get a cast like this - the bottom of a barrel! Though, to be fair, if this is your idea of a stellar cast then I have no interest in the sort of films you quite clearly enjoy. Even Hogan fans like yourself will admit that this is a complete waste of time and money and therefore, should be included on the list.

"As if by magic..."

[–] iamjoeswastedlife 19 years ago

I have to say, I have also grown to believe this may be the worst movie ever made. I rented it purposely for a bad movie (also rented Cool as Ice and others on different occassions) and was still stupefied. Pretty remarkable, honestly, that it could have been made. Worse than I could have imagined. And it gets worse and worse as it goes along, at points going beyond being so bad it is funny. The music is only exciting I think for about two seconds in one moment, and kicks back into island music, and the "chase" is hardly a chase at all. These bad guys have guns, but NEVER use them, and ride at slow speeds on their boats in a sequence going well beyond its welcome. The whole movie does, honestly, and hardly does merit much analysis, but... yet it does! It may be the worst ever, certainly the worst I have seen. It has been several years now, and I still have it in my mind. So yes, I agree, and have my part in trying to get this film's rating down.

"Shut up and deal."

[–] Bulletproof81 18 years ago

If there is a worse movie out there, I have yet to see it. Bad enough that they never explain how Robert Vaughn always beats Hogan in a race when Hogan takes the quickest route, they actually botch the ending in a film. Seriously, Grace Jones' parachuting in is one of the most wooden and senseless finishes ever.

Absolutely hilarious film.

[–] Benjamin_Cox 18 years ago

I'm quite pleased to have banished this film from my memory. I do remember the endless jet-ski chase around the Everglades, I remember the bit at the end with the endangered tiger cub ("Let's keep him!") and Hogan being about three seconds away from Hulkamania running wild at any given point. But this is still one of the very worst movies ever made, end of.

And for the guy who emailled me, Hulk Hogan is NOT the finest actor of our generation. He's not even the finest wrestler of our generation! He's a creepy old man with saggy man-boobs and enough blonde hair dye to float the Navy. Now leave me alone!

"As if by magic..."

[–] ant307 17 years ago

I remember this movie, i taped it around 2000, after it was shown on sky. So when i came to watch it in work later that night, well you can guess what i thought of it.

The actors really did seem as though they could not be bothered acting properly, like you have an off day? The girl in the petshop for one, she didn't even pick up her money when hogan paid her and just turned the paper over the money? eh? lol, whats that about? I think that says it all, as even the main character's didnt do much better, and that billy bloke who was riding on the jet ski's who was kidnapped, and i think the whole story was based on this? Anyway he was supposed to be about 15? He looked more like 26, and his character was awful too.

Although it kept me entertained with its bad plot, story and drab acting. How the hell could walter denkins get to certain locations before hulk, especially as half the time he was winging about being in the woods?Hmmmm and finally, the ending was utter nonsence, and i was shocked that alonzo was a woman too. I think that was the main twist in the story?

I still have this on tape somewhere, although unable to watch it as i dont have a tape player anymore. Im sure that's a good thing though. Greatest movie evAr!!!

[–] agsconnolly 17 years ago

God its been three years since I saw this film and something inside me wants to see it again. Yes, it is by far the worst film I've ever seen but I really want to see it again for that reason!!

[–] 17 years ago

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