Why women love Chad...

I have no doubt that money attracts women, who will choose thoroughly repulsive men if they are either filthy rich or outrageously and foolishly generous with their own money. I had a coworker who stayed in a homeless shelter because he spent all his money on his fiancee- he relocated 1,200 miles away to be with close to her. After the wedding he continued to live in penury while giving her the funds to live as she wished. Her contempt and selfishness was such that she wouldn't even deign to live in the same city as he (he lived in Austin, she in San Antonio) until she lost her job and house- suddenly she could tolerate him enough to share a residence. He was not at all good looking but his relentless self abnegation and financial generosity sealed the deal.

As for good looks, I really don't think that opens doors for men, certainly not the way it does for women. The very concept of "beauty" is in our society, a feminine one. Most "heterosexual" women consider themselves and other women to be vastly more more attractive than any male. Even though males are far more likely than females to be described as "narcissistic" gender narcissism is rampant among women, who believe their sex is superior physically, aesthetically, intellectually and morally. Most women (especially when they think that men aren't listening) will openly state their belief that the male body is ugly, especially the penis. Ironically, many of these same women complain constantly about their lack of sexual satisfaction with men, when in fact the problem lies with the fact that they either have very low libido, or it is not directed toward males. Maybe the growing visibility of lesbianism (15% of college age women identify as lesbian or bisexual, as opposed to 6% of college age men identifying as gay or bisexual) will encourage them to pursue that avenue, although most of the lesbians I know would not tolerate the "what's mine is mine and what's ours is mine" attitude men have come to expect from women. The recessive attitude that one sees now from younger men, who often retreat into an adolescent world of low paying jobs, financial dependence on parents and internet porn as a substitute for real relationships is sad and pathetic, but it isn't surprising. A 20 something male in contemporary America has been wrung through an educational system that is designed to maximize the success and boost already inflated self esteem of girls, while treating boys as troublemakers, future rapists and beneficiaries of "male privilege". If the sexes were reversed (and if 90% of educators were male) no one would have any difficulty seeing the blatant sexism in all of this.

If Chad is an evil genius, why doesn't he have a better job? Stewie Griffin is a lot closer to realizing his evil ambitions than Chad.

"I've been out with men who are hot, confident, charming, funny and all that jazz then you realize what poisonous, waste-of-time losers they are and they're not so hot. Women love Chad till they see him for what he really is."

In the real world, would Chad have had any success? He certainly had a cocky attitude (confidence) and could be superficially charming if he wished, but I think practically all women would see through him immediately, which is why Christine seemed so pathetically naive. As for him being "hot" I don't think women in general really like good looking men or find them sexually attractive ("vain" and "narcissistic" are terms they typically use to describe them) and since Chad wasn't a movie/rock star, CEO or scion of some fabulously rich family (the factors that might blind women to his obvious lack of character) most women would immediately dismiss him as a jerk.

"I don't think they want men to be leaders in the relationship. They want men to be good providers."

Well, Chad had a white collar job, but it clearly wasn't paying six figures. I don't think his job or salary would have impressed women much (maybe enough to make him look good next to the cab driver or assistant-manager at Dairy Queen).

"And imo, good looks open all sorts of doors for both men and women."

I definitely disagree. There are negative prejudices against good-looking people of both sexes (the sexy blonde is also assumed to be shallow and unintelligent), but in the case of males the stereotypes are almost completely negative, except in the gay male subculture, which is irrelevant to this topic. I rarely hear women complementing men on their appearance in any way. They have actually done scientific studies of response to visual stimuli that show that "heterosexual" women are stimulated by the sight of women, but indifferent to men, no matter how good looking they might be considered to be. On the rare occasions when women acknowledge the physical attractiveness of a man, they'll invariably describe him as "vain" or "narcissistic" even if he does nothing that suggests posturing for attention- it's almost as if they're suggesting he should efface himself before appearing in public. They also are convinced that such men are more likely to cheat, which really doesn't make sense. Since women aren't attracted to men in a purely sexual way, being good looking would not confer an advantage to man seeking sexual favors from a woman. In contrast, being rich would, although that fact doesn't make wealthy men less attractive to women. I've never heard a woman say, "He's too rich for me- with all his money, he'll have women throwing themselves on him constantly."

Yes, women want a man to be the leader in their relationship (most women, that is). Perhaps though we have an issue with the definition of terms. When I say "leader" I mean a man that has purpose, goals, and is watching out for his family and guiding them through the vicissitudes of life that seek to destroy them. A woman wants a man who is confident, powerful, honest, faithful, compassionate and keeps his promises. A man like that just naturally takes the reins, because he's confident that he can lead well (and has a track record of doing so). What I am *not* saying is that the guy tells his partner what to do and is in "charge".

I'm not say that women cannot be leaders, but I think most women want a man who is a leader in their relationship. They want him to protect them, to be alert and watching out so they can feel safe and secure.

Think about it for a moment... a good provider is a leader, isn't he? He's a guy that was able to get an education (and excel at that). He's a guy that was able to go on interviews and shine above other candidates; something about him convinced the hiring personnel that he could get the job done and do it well - better than all the other people they interviewed. A good provider takes care of his family "providing" for them not just monetarily, but by meeting many other needs they have for love, guidance, protection, being a good example to his children, communicating well, honoring his commitments, inspiring and so on.


"...nothing is left of me, each time I see her..." - Catullus