Isabelle pees really fast from living with a lot of people with only one bathroom.
Alex believes if you get hit by a bus it's cause you weren't looking the right way.
Love is a gift; not an obligation.
Joking about legal prostitution in Las Vegas is such a guy thing to say.
Presbyterian doesn't seem to be a real religion to some people.
Condoms sometimes don't work.
shareNew Las Vegas residents first see the town as a sandbox til later on "grows on you".
Say you're Luke Skywalker when you meet men named Chuy.
Isabelle is the one and everything Alex never knew he always wanted.
There's conference rooms when people wanna give hugs to their co workers.
Never have Elvis give you away at your wedding.
The white people are melting!
If you ride a donkey to get to someone's house, you'll stink.
Women hate guys who are hotter than them, especially if they're dating.
To cover up a secret meeting at your office, pretend your buddy needed a hug.
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"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to exit the doughnut!"---Nick Fury, Iron Man 2
Large crucifixes on walls protect people.
It's completely logical to ship coney dogs across the US and they're still edible when they arrive.
Only New York guys think there's nothing west of the Hudson.
Lighting candles for people will help them.
Tequila will help the pain when you fall it a forest of cacti.
Alex Whitman is from New Haven, Connecticut.
And you can have your new mother-in-law mail you Grays Papaya hot dogs from New York to Vegas in due time.
"Flames from the side of my face. Heaving ...heathen breathes..." - Mrs. White.
Not to nitpick but I think Alex is from New Canaan.
shareEurope sucks in the summer.
Chihuahuas are ugly little things.
If you drive in the rain wear a poncho in case you have to get out in the downpour.
Women in labor aren't deaf.
You can't get good tamales in New York.
Dating is stupid.
Signs are rewlb
share*Real!
shareAnd everywhere.
shareGuacamole and ghetto blaster = culture.
When you're in town for business, don't stay at a hotel. Rent a huge house in the suburbs.
Allow your new wife's family to paint the rental home loud colors, you won't get in trouble or anything.
Calling someone a liar and a coward sounds prettier in Spanish.
Isabelle steals inner tubes from kids