Funniest Dilbert moment

"Ramming speed."

Loud Howard - "CAN WE GO NOW?!"

"SOMETIMES I JUST FIND STUFF AFTER I TALK."
a mitten falls infront of Loud Howard.


And basically the first ten minutes of the episode when Dilbert couldnt sleep because of the rediculous acts of his neighbors.

I am Jack's signature.

"Am I late?"
"No."
"Be right back gotta make a phone call."
*comes back later*
"Am I late now?"
"Yes. And it's not because you're an immature and irresponsible adult. It's because you're important."

The wording isn't perfectly accurate but it was something like that. I've only seen like 4 episodes though. And the young Dilbert engineer one was also pretty funny. In fact there are many more parts I found funny too. Especially the marketing ones.

"I'M NOT LOUD ANYMORE!"

"Get out of bed, resistance is futile. Wake up and assimilate the day.
Get out of bed, resistance is futile. Wake up and assimilate the day."
"I wonder if I could ever date a woman like Jeri Ryan?"
"That too, is futile."
"Okay, that's enough out of you." *reaches over to turn off the clock*
"Do not touch me."
"Then how to I turn you off?"
"Believe me, I am plenty turned off right now."
"Clock tease."

And the blood drive one has a whole bunch of great lines.

"I will now read a list of disqualifying conditions. Please leave the auditorium if any of the following apply to you. Are you now, or have you ever been, Wally?"


"Can I have a cookie?"
"No, I ate em all while you were bleeding."


"Aww shoot!"


"Driving without blood is surprisingly difficult!"
*gets pulled over*
"Sir, how many drinks have you had this evening?"
"Nuh-thing! I could'n even gedda cookie! Then a lady took all of my blood!"
"Okay buddy, count backward from 100 using only prime numbers."
"97, 89, 83, 79, 73, 71..."
"Oooohkay! Nobody likes a wise-ass! Get out of the car."

"Now yer gittin' it!"
"I - think - my - shoulders - are - dis - locating!"



Couple more... but this series had a whole bunch more really funny moments.

"So, what can I git you fellers ter' swaller?"
"Could we see a menu?"
"This ain't Paris, boy."
"Okay. Give us two of whatever you've touched the least."
"Two soaps."


"Hey Eustis, what's makin' everything all stretchy?"

Dilbert playing Scrabble with Comp-U-Comp in The Return. "That's not a word!"

"I just speak GOODER than you!"

"I think smart men are so sexy. Maybe we could go out on a date sometime."
*Touches microwave and incinerates*



Cause I've been asleep too long
And I can't remember how I got so numb