MovieChat Forums > The Adventures of Lano & Woodley (1997) Discussion > Fave quotes

Fave quotes

posted 19 years ago by starpossum
115 replies | jump to latest

Post your fave quotes here! (Preferrably with the episode they were in too)

"Come on, Col! You're making a mountain out of a... very big hill."
- Frank, One Simple Task

"Granddad's dead!"
"Frank, didn’t your granddad die 5 years ago? You went down to the shops and I got the message saying that he died and when you got back I told... Your granddad’s dead, Frank!"
- Frank and Col, One Simple Task

"Hi. We’re looking for a scary video."
"What about 'Silence Of The Lambs'?"
"Nah, we’re not really into nature films."
- Col to the video shop man, Tonight You Die

"You know - the actor guy! Oh, what is his name? See the thing is... the thing is... THE THING IS that when I say his name you’ll go, 'Yes, the actor guy, love him, adore him!', but I can’t think of his name! He’s got the hair, the eyes, a bit of a nose and a mouth and it’s all held together with like a... face!"
- Frank, Tonight You Die

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] just_hanging_around 19 years ago

Man, I have sooooo many favourite quotes that it's hard to choose my ultimate favourites, so I'll just post a couple =P

Frank: Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will only ... cause permanent psychological damage.
(StarQuest)

Col: ... remind the neighbours to feed the cat ... yep ...
Frank: Col, we haven't got a cat
Col: But their cat's looking really skinny
(One Simple Task)

Frank: I'm an alien!
(One Simple Task)

(Col is asking Frank to cut some wood and is holding a pile in his arms.)
Col: I don’t think you’re pulling your weight frankly!
Frank: My name's not frankly!
Col: What?
Frank: You dropped the wood!
Col: Where?
Frank: No, you called me frankly, my name’s Frank Woodley, frankly it makes me uncomfortable
Col: What makes you uncomfortable?
Frank: Frankly!
Col: Yes I wish you were just honest with me what’s upsetting you?
Frank: I don't like it when you drop the wood!
Col: I didn't drop the wood! Frankly I don’t what you’re talking about!
Frank: Don't call me frankly!
Col: Cut the wood!
Frank: I'm not cutting the Wood it's part of my name!
Col: Grab an axe and cut up pieces of timber for me!
Frank: Oh why didn’t you just say so!
(Primal Warrior)

Col: I'm gonna shoot this arrow through your head ... no, through the apple ON your head
(Primal Warrior)

Frank: Do you believe in Harold Col?
Col: Harold, who's Harold?
Frank: Harold, that's God's name, everybody knows that. It's in that prayer: Our father who art in heaven, Harold be thy name!
(The Easter Story)

Okay that's enough for the time being =P

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

Frank: You know the strangest thing about Mr. Wilson? When he comes over he never says anything.
Col: Yeah, that’s because he's a mute.
Frank: Oh, right... what’s a mute?
Col: He’s a mute - he can’t talk.
Frank: Oh... no, I’m still not clear on this mute business.
Col: For some reason he is unable to speak.
Frank: Oh... no I still don’t get it.
Col: He’s a mute! He’s dumb!
Frank: Yeah, well I’m dumb too, but at least I’m polite enough to speak to people!
(The Wall)

Frank: What was that eleventh number?
(Star Quest)

Frank: Well why do they call him 'Scott of the Antarctic'? I mean, I have a friend Russell who went to Thailand once but I don’t call him 'Russell of Thailand'...
(Star Quest)

Game Show Host: Who created Tom Sawyer?
Col: Mr. and Mrs. Sawyer!
(Game Show God)

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] 18 years ago

[deleted]

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

Col: She may not have been my flesh and blood, but she was still my mum! She was there when I learnt how to walk, she was there when I learnt how to ride a bike... And when I got bullied at school by a kid who stole my lunch money and gave me a wedgie by pulling my undies up my bum, it was her who advised me to give up teaching!
(Mother)

Nurse: She’s still a bit groggy, that’s what happens with a caesarean.
Frank: Oh, Caesarean! WHAT PART OF CAESAREA ARE YOU FROM?!
(I Love You Baby Part 1)

Frank: Mother, mother, it’s me, I'm coming home for a few days... He’s changed... Mother, when you see me it’s not what you think, I... I walked into a door!
(I Love You Baby Part 2)

--------
"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] mattau44 18 years ago

Frank: What's the number of the police station so we can tell the cops?

Col: I think the cops would know their own phone number

The blonde girl: Dial '000'

Frank: Damn! This phone's only got buttons!

I love this show ^_^

[–] Startanew 18 years ago

You're an on-purpose jarrer!!

Don't Drop the Wood! It's part of my name!

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

And, of course, Frank's whole "I don't want you to go" wail as he climbs all over the furniture in 'Girlfriend' ROFL

--------
"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] aStar_88 18 years ago

Oh MY GOd I LOVE Franks little rolls and somersaults when hes whining "I dont want you to go-o-o-o-o"

and when he pretends to be sick .."Are u there Col?"

Col: I dont want to be patronising, but why dont you just run along and put your toys away like a good little boy? - from The Girlfriend

Frank (pretending he had a surprise party for Col but really didnt): Surprise! You can come out now everyone! Come out! Surprise! *no1 appears* Your friends are bastards!
- One Simple Task

Frank is on the phone to Col's imaginary gf Jenny Window and Col has just explained she doesnt exist : Well Jenny im afraid ive got some rather bad news....yes...see you dont exist..well dont get angry at me Jenny, I've been standing here talking to someone who doesnt exist, and frankly I feel like a bit of a d*ck!

Frank (desperately trying to get a caravan booking in ep One Simple Task): yes i kno its short notice but...*Col walks in and Frank pretends to be angrily abusing a prank caller*....and dont call here again!
Col: Who was that?
Frank: some prank sicko
Col: I didnt hear the phone ring
Frank:.....I called him

Col: The MESSIAH of all belly wackers!

Col: Oh yep yep YEP yeah Yep yeah YEAH yep yep yep YEAH yeah yeah....Nooooo

[–] aStar_88 18 years ago

Ok just remembered another one...but i cant remember it perfectly

Frank: A Holiday! It'd be just like old times.....the boys....hanging out!! *makes weird noise with his hands sticking out from his pockets* Like last time, where we stayed in that house....and you had that affair...with the married woman....
Col: What?
Frank: yeh yeh remember...during the war....
Col: You idiot! That was the film we saw, Summer of '42...*sumthing (cant remember year*
Frank: Oh. What about that film with the two pizza guys...who got mugged by those thugs...
Col: That was us!

Frank : *pause*...Did we ever help a whale get free?

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

ROFL I love those!!!!!

It's not really a quote, but I loved the bit where the doctor comes and Frank hides in the wardrobe, and jumps from siude to side when Col opens the doors so he can't see him!!! LMAO

Frank: Col, have I got time to go and do a poo?

Frank: No! The camera's in my pocket, and that's where it's gonna stay. It can do that, because it's *pocket-sized*!

--------
"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] squijette 18 years ago

HAHAHA! I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEMM
I cant really think of any quotes that havnt been mentioned coz i havnt watched the episodes for ages.
But i just wana say that i love the part when they kiss. I think that is bloody hilarious and woudlve been hard to do! So yeh that was funyy as!
Laterz

"Kid Kid Kid...Dont mean to be rude...but....sit the *beep* down!"
Frank :)

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

I 100% agree with you :3
I also love the part at the very start of the first episode, where Frank goes to touch they guy the doctor's operating on, and Col slaps his hand away:
Col: Sorry, he's got absolutely no idea about proper medical proced- *coughs all over patient*
LOL :P

--------
"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] squijette 18 years ago

HAHA YEH!! OK I GOT SOME FROM STARQUEST COZ I WATCHED THAT LAST NITE! :)

FRANK: Yeah maybe i'll get discovered too.
COLIN: Maybe you'll get dis AHAHAHAHAHA, maybe you'll get AHAHAHAHA, maybe you'll get d AHAHAHAHAHA, you might get d AHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHA HAHAHAA....Oh you're gorgeous

COLIN: I won't get disscovered, you little dickhead
FRANK: Sitcks and stones will break my bones, but names will only cause permanent physcological damage.

BOTH: Look at me, look at me, i want everyone to look at me, on Starquest.

COLIN: Oh good one, *sarcastic face* GOOD oooONE!

COLIN AND FRANKS SEPERATE DANCE ROUTINES :)

COLIN: If they're not ready that's not my responsibility, man.

COLIN: I wanna be remembered, i wanna be famous, i wanna be an historical figure like Alexander the great or Scott of the Antarctic or Weird Al Yankovich, you know,
FARNK: I didn't know anybody even lived in the Antarctic
COLIN: What?
FRANK: Scott, Scott o the Antarctic
COLIN: He wasn't from the Antarctic, he was English, he went there on an expedition but we havn't got time to talk about that now
FRANK: Well why do they call him Scott of the Antarctic? They should call him Scott who went to the Antarctic. I mean you know a friend of mine, Russel, went to Thailand once and i don't call him Russel of Thailand.
COLIN: Can we just get on with rehearsal please?
FRANK: Why'd he go there anyway?
COLIN: He wanted to be the first man to reach the South Pole but he was beaten by some Norweigen guy. He froze to death on the way back
FRANK: So they should call him Scott who went to the Antarctic but probably shouldn't of.

COLIN: OK Frank five me the car keys
FRANK: No you've got the car keys
COLIN: No i gave them to you
FRANK: I dont think you did
COLIN: I think that i did
FRANK: nnnNO NO NO
COLIN: Ye ye ye

FRANK: Col have i got time to do a poo?

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

LMAO they're awesome!
I love at the start of Game Show God:

Frank: Col... that man... he's got a b... he's got a b... he's got a b... BEARD!

And the whole thing about beardfear is hilarious :P
And in Mother:

Col: You were my mother, you were my mum
My mum, mamum, mamum
And now, when I hear a motorbike engine,
Thoughts of you will come.

Frank: Do not... look... up here. NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

LOL

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] squijette 18 years ago

HAHA! Yeh i love Franks NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH's they r hilarious lol!

Here's some from I Love You Baby Part 1 coz i watched that last night and i thought there were some pretty funny lines in that episode.

COL AND FRANK: Them singing Rock a bye baby! OMG i think thats so freakin awesum!! LOL! Its so0o0o0o0o0o0o good!!!

COL: Hello my name is Girvinda and this is my wife Minavwa
FRANK: Oh look the little one is kicking inside my womb
COL: Ok this is...ok this is the ground floor we get out of here alright cmon lets go
FRANK: Just because you are husband im not understanding why you are also being a boss
COL: Cmon Frank lets go!
FRANK: MEN!?!

FRANK: Col we really should have seat belts on
COL: Frank
FRANK: Yeh
COL: You're a stunted human being

COL: Quick survey. Who thinks its pretty weird that we've got somebody elses baby in our flat?
* BOTH LOOK AT EACHOTHER....HANDS UP* Lol funny if u see it!

COL: What are we going to do? What the hell are we going to do? I know! Why dont we just leave the baby in a public place with an anonymous note?!
FRANK: Yes good idea yes great yes well done yes thats it yes.
COL: No that wont work. The babies have still been swapped.
FRANK: Thats right. Its a stupid idea. Stupid foolish no good to us what so ever. Stupid stupid stupid.
COL: BUT! We can explain on the note that the babies have been swapped accidentally.
FRANK: YES! Thats it fantastic Thats the one. Good idea. Love it, adore it, worship it, bow down to it! It is..i...that is brilliant...it is genius.
COL: No. It will arouse suspicion. You know!? Who is working with the babies? Who could of accidentally swapped them?
FRANK: You're right. Its a stupid idea. Stupid stupid idea. Hate it, deplore it, loath it, cant stand it, de test it! You oughta be ashamed of yourself. You should infact ideas like that make me...make me feel physically ill. Stu...u can...if you're come up with ideas like that, you can just GET OUT! You should be pushed to the fringe of society and poked repetiddly with a sharp stick. Coming up with an idea like that. You...you are banish-ed...you are BANISH-ED!

COL: This whole stupid situation is your falt. You're always getting us in to trouble. You're much more stupiderer than me.
FRANK: Col, i dont think thats a word.
COL: Yes it is. Its just like painfulier.
FRANK: Painfulier?
COL: Yeh! For example: The man hurt the other man painfully *slaps frank* And then he hurt him again more painfulier *hits frank with a saucepan*

I Love You Baby Part 2

FRANK: Oh you're gorgeous. You're a beautiful adorable little...*sniffs* *smells his armpit* *looks at the bottom of his shoes* *pulls a smug face and smells the babys diaper* *goes insane coz of the babys bad smell* Ummm Colin..ah..Colin Stuart Lano..the ah baby needs to be changed i think!
COL: Im sure you're just carrying on about nothing...theres nothing *smells baby* *goes insane like frank did*
FRANK: But, but...what are we going to do? I mean we havent got anyother nappies.
COL: Ummm we'll get a towel and we'll cut a nappy sized square out of it.
FRANK: Of course. We'll use that (*grabs Colins towel*) good idea Colin. Its a very good idea actually..a very...
COL: Frank what are you doing? Thats my towel.
FRANK: Hey?! Ohh i didnt even realise...i just grabbed the first one i saw.
COL: Well why do we have to use my towel?
FRANK: Well why do we have to use my towel?
COL: Haha look this is ridiculous. This is so peti. Look it doesnt worry me whos towel we use.
FRANK: Well it doesn't worry me either really.
COL: Well if it doesnt worry you and it doesnt worry me weve just gotta use one of the towels so lets just use ahhh your towel.
FRANK: Col dont start that again please. We havnt got time for that nonscence. We're in a hurry. Quick pass me...ya towel.
COL: Ok there you go. *Colin gives Frank frank's towel*
FRANK: Hang on
COL: Ok. Fine. We'll use my towel. While we're arguing the little baby is suffering in their with a dirty nappy. Why dont we just make a decision? We're using MY towel! It will be better this way anyway.
FRANK: Good. Well why will it better this way?
COL: Well my ahh...my towels more hygenic. It will be cleaner.
FRANK: I think my towels cleaner.
COL: Alright we'll use your towel.
FRANK: Well you turned around rather quickly.
COL: OK We'll use my towel!
FRANK: GOOD! We're gonna use Col's towel.
*Colin rips up Franks towel*
FRANK: That was my towel.
COL: Oh was it? Oh sorry. Oh well it doesnt matter anyway.
FRANK: Thats right it doesnt matter. So we'll use your towel too. *Grabs Cols towel and starts ripping it* If it doesnt matter we'll use yours because it doesnt worry me and it doesnt worry you. And because theres no problem it makes no difference. So lets just use your towel and we'll all be happy because you dont seem to care whether we use yours or mine. Oh we'll use your bloody t...AHH AHHHH AHHH....oh oh....i thought...i thought...i thought it was an octopus.

AHAHA I LOVE THAT! Theres another part but my hands are getting tired lol so ill post it here another time.

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

Lol I watched The Wall again the other day, and I LOVE this bit: (don't know if it's already been said but meh)

FRANK: ...I'm sure Mr. Wilson will feel some loyalty towards us.
COL: Oh yeah! And maybe he'll drop the rent too!
FRANK: D'you really think he will?
COL: OH YEAH! And he'll COMPLETELY renovate the WHOLE apartment!
FRANK: ...are you being sarcastic?
COL: Oh yeah. I'm being really sarcastic.

ROFL

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] rozymisty 18 years ago

haha I havent seen series2 for ages-mum refused to give it back to me after she took it when we were having a huge fight....But there are way too many quotes to remember.

[–] squijette 18 years ago

Well seeing as though i cant think of any more quotes from the TV show at the moment im gonna write down some of my faveourite quotes/songs from their CD "Sing Songs"

CROSS THE LINE-
FRANK- We're a bit nervous coz we're recording a cd of all the songs we are doing so thanks for coming because if um if you wernt here it wouldve sounded like we were quite *beep* and all though possibly as the night goes on you will reflect the fact that we are quite *beep*
THE WHOLE SONG IS WIKED!!!

WORDS-
FRANK-We should actually warn people that there will be some material during the performance tonight that some people may find offensive. We are going to be using the "F" word and the "C" word.
COL-Correct
FRANK-The "C" Word....
COL-COLIN
FRANK-And the "F" word
*beep* wit

more to come....im going off 4 a while lol

[–] 18 years ago

[deleted]

[–] fitzie_76 18 years ago

I love these ones:

Colin: Frank she's not out of the car yet, you stupid, stupid dickhead!!

Frank: He does not appear to be at his r-e-s-i-d-e-n-c-e.

Frank: And we were not trying to break in.

Frank: That's nowhere near the size of a basketball. Here, I'll prove it (Frank grabs basketball and it fits perfectly into the hole in the wall)

Frank: Um, he called you a stupid moron.

Colin: I'm superfluous!!

[–] AntRid 18 years ago

Hres mine!

Col: It's Pocket size! It's pocket size...its pocket size... IT'S THE SIZE OF A POCKET!

A guy picks up Col in the penguin man costume and is about to trow him of the 10-meter tower at the pool.
Col: aaaa, oh I can see our flat from here!

Frank: I can change my name to, An obviously innocent man! So just in case I go to court. The judge will say. "Today we are trailing An obviously innocent man.

Frank: Great! lets take some Pho-tos!

[–] MrPrudence04 18 years ago

"You stupid little skinny man.."

[–] stupidmeatball 18 years ago

When Col is in a cafe trying to pick up:
Col: "I'll have a capuccino"
Girl: " I'll also have a capuccino"
Col: "A jugiccino"
(or sumthng like that)
--AND--
After Frank almost drowns and Col is driving around the city
Col: "Give the man room!"

[–] georgiefatboy 18 years ago

I love the whole mis-pronounciations of photos and stuff. And Sing Songs cd is so funny

[–] blonde_gal_99 18 years ago

(in PRIMAL WARRIOR)
COL: Does any one have a hobby? Frank?
FRANK: Well actually Colin i do. I like to collect wonderful autumn leaves. I'v been collecting them for quite some time now. (Brings out huge massive book of leaves)
COL: It's great to have a hobby isn't it. (To remaining group, which is no-one) I think we should all take a leave out of Frank's book...
FRANK: NO! THEY'RE MINE! YOU CAN'T TAKE ANY!

While stuck in Mitchell's flat in THE WALL)
FRANK: ARGH! ARGH! i'm stuck in here. i'm stuck in here with a maniac.
COL: Frank just calm down.
FRANK: You've always been a bad influence on me. Like when we were in school and you hit a ball up onto the roof and what did you do? you went up ther and got it.
COL: Yeah, so what?
FRANK: You were meant to get a TEACHER! Or at least some sort of permission!

(THE GIRLFRIEND)
COL: You stole my imaginary girlfriend.
FRANK: Well, i don't know Col, maybe next time you invent a girlfriend, you should make someone who actually likes you.
COL: You stay away from her
FRANK: She's MINE now!
COL: She's having my child!

Col and Frank in bunno in July! Hooray!

[–] mazunderscore 18 years ago

EVERYBODAY GET RIGHT BACK!! GET RIGHT BACK!!

___________________________________________________
I am a fish

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

LMAO and they're driving in the car:
"Everybody get RIGHT BACK!! He's MY friend, now get RIGHT BACK!!!!!" ROFL

--------
"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] fitzie_76 18 years ago

Col (To Frank): Bit of shoosh, bit of shoosh. Give him a go, give him a go, GIVE HIM A GO!!!

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

LMAO, I love that bit!
"Give him a GO!! DON'T MAKE ME TELL YOU AGAIN!!"

--------
"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] mazunderscore 18 years ago

"YOUR AN ON PURPOSE JARRER!" - Col - One Simple Task

__________________________________________________________________________
I am a fish

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

LMAO
"You made sure that your shirt was hanging in such a way that when I- AAAAARGH!"

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] mazunderscore 18 years ago

I can't believe i used to be friends with an on purpose jarrer!!!

_______________________________________________________________________
I am a fish

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

"You've changed, you've gotten weird!!" :P

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] TheBlueBerk 18 years ago

Col: “You’re so dumb, aren’t you? You’re such an idiot! You’re so… stupendous!”
*pause*
Frank: “Col, I don’t think you know what that word means…”
Col: “I know exactly what it means! And you’re just jealous! ‘Cause you know I’m so much better. You know I’m SUPERFLUOUS!
– One Simple Task

And I love the look on Frank’s face when Col uses the wrong words; it’s like between... a roll of his eyes, and wondering if Col actually has it right.

That’s gold.

And I LOVE Frank’s new name at the end of Mother. *makes sound like whistling wind*

I love the implied fact that Frank has actually spelt out this said name!

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

100% agree with everything you just said!!

"So are you going to come down here or am I going to make you?"
*Frank shakes his head*
"One!"
"What...?"
"Two!"
"What...?"
"Three!"
"...What?"
Gold! :P I don't even know why that bit's funny, it just is!

--------
"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] TheBlueBerk 18 years ago

Just the beginning of The Girlfriend has some classic Lano and Woodley moments, and quotes.

Firstly, when Col throws the basketball at Frank's head, and it takes Frank about five seconds to react! It's so adorable!

And Col and Frank's screaming argument, when they're holding each other's shirt collars, and they both eventually fade out to squeaks.

Also, Frank's hand gestures when he tells Col he's never had a girlfriend, and then Col's reaction! When he does that weird, hilarious hip-wiggling, one-foot-in-front-of-the-other walk, and then he hits the bench and says "Ah, s'a good piece of timber."

And then, Col's *ahem* 'subtle' "Oh, yeah! OH JESUS GOD YEAH!" Brilliant.

And then, finally, when Col says he has a girlfriend, and Frank says, "Wow. What's the girl's name?" and he repeats twice, in exactly the same tone!

I really do want to lick them.

[–] eldon-10 18 years ago

Thats my favourite episode!
I LOVE Frank's:
'No Col don't. I don't want you to go, I don't want you to go! Why do you have to go? I don't wan't you to go!'
Thats the best damn bit of the whole series! (I know it's been mentioned before - but I had to do it again.)

Second best bit (in my opinion) is Col's:
'When you get a girlmuahaha! When you get a hahahaha! When you get a girlhahaha! - You're gorgeous.'

Oh and also, from 'One Simple Task'
Frank on the phone
'No, you don't understand. In a week I'll be dead .... bye.'
I think thats great.

[–] TheBlueBerk 18 years ago

LMFAO! His patronising laugh is genius! I love watching Frank try not to laugh.

Actually, I did a Col laugh today. I moved my mouth in a weird way to vaguely match the laughing sounds I was making. I couldn’t do it for long, though; I started really laughing when I thought about Col.

And I can't help but laugh when I think about Col chuckling to himself, and then to sort of avoid an awkward silence, just banging his fist on the bench and saying "Ah, s'a good piece of timber." It's so... subject-avoid-y!

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

They're all brilliant!!
I love the continuation of the laughing bit:
"When you get discoverahahahaha! When you get discoverAHAHAHAHA! When you get discoverAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Ahh, you're gorgeous!"
And then there's a HILARIOUS bit in Game Show God when Col's doing that laugh, and he looks at the ceiling while he's driving and drives around the corner :P And then when he reverses into traffic and Frank spends the rest of the night laughing until he slams his forehead into his fork!!! ROFLLMAO!

--------
"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] confuzzeld_chick 18 years ago

When Col and Frank are hanging out the window:

'Love each other? Love each other? WE WANT TO DESTROY EACH OTHER!!'

'TTOW!'- BJ & Tyler, The Amazing Race

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

Lol, I love that joke!
I just thought of another one: In 'Mother' when Frank is rolling down the stairs; 'Must... keep... running!' :P

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] 18 years ago

[deleted]

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

Haha yeah!
Also, "Col, we haven't got a cat!" "But their cat's looking really skinny."

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] TheBlueBerk 18 years ago

"Col, we haven't got a cat!" "But their cat's looking really skinny." That's gold.

One of my absolute favourite deadpan lines - and one that I have adopted for myself (forgive me Frank and Col) - is in The Wall when Col and Frank keep pushing the countertop on top of the receptionist's fingers whilst jumping, trying to get the pen out of the light fixture. She turns to them both and basically screams at them that they've got no hope of having their lease renewed, and Frank - as serious as he's ever been - simply says, "What an illogical mood swing."

I honestly don't think I've ever laughed quite so much. And I can't stop saying it!

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

LOL!! THAT one's great.

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] TheBlueBerk 18 years ago

Another great one I keep forgetting to mention, is in the opening scene of The Easter Story, where Frank's the Easter bunny and Col's the man who's introducing him.

I LOVE the way Col says "Hooray, for the Easter bunny!" It's so exaggerated and condescending! And I know people who think five- and six-year-old children need to be spoken to like that. Scary.

Anyway, I love Col's whole manner through that scene. He's so patronising! Genius.

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

Lol, that's hilarious.
"I don't- hang on! What's that noise?!" :P

I also love how Col does the massivel evil supervillain laugh after he steals sll of Susan's washing, and he's making his hat clap, and then it rubs its hands together and Frank's really freaked out! ROFL

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] TheBlueBerk 18 years ago

"What's that noise?!" LMFAO! With the whole hand-thrown-away-from-ear-repeatedly! Ahahahahaha! Oh, GOD they make me laugh.

For a show made in 1999, the green-screening in that hands-rubbing-together scene is awesome. And it looks great! When I first saw it, I was like "... what?" It took me an embarrassing amount of time to realise it was real hands...

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

Lol, yeah, t'was excellent. I also love the whole "RICKY!!!" thing as well. :P And how Ricky's trying to act cool all the time:
"I don't want you to bother with all that 'Father Richard' stuff. Hey - Ricky's the way to go."
"It would be totally rad if you guys could be there."
And my personal fave...
"Hey dudes! High five for Jesus!"
LMFAO! My friends and I do that all the time!

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] TheBlueBerk 18 years ago

Oh my God! You say 'twas'! My friends and I talk like that all the time: crap! =D

starpossum, I HEART Father Richard/Ricky. I love, I LOVE the bit where it's the actual Rock Mass, and Father Richard/Ricky's introducing it, and he does that pathetic little microphone toss between his hands! He thinks he's so hot!

Ahahahahaha! "High five for Jesus!" That's gold.

I love when Frank's telling Col he's collecting the stuff for Father Richard, and from out on the street you just hear "Ricky!"

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

LOL! Maybe I am one of your friends... *shifty eyes*
The Father Ricky thing is HILARIOUS.
Lano_and_Woodley, would you be willing to trade MSN addys?

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] eldon-10 18 years ago

I love the whole speach of Frank's.
"The most beautiful voice said, 'Frank. You're just winded. Your over-reacting. Go back.'"
I love that!!

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

"Go back. Frank just go back, you're overreacting!" LMAO

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] eldon-10 18 years ago

Thats the one. I love it! The whole speech was great. Gonna watch it tonight!!

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

Yay! =D

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] TheBlueBerk 18 years ago

LMFAO! I love how Frank says God has the most beautiful voice in the world, and then he does his impression, and the voice of 'God' is all whiney and nasally! Ahahahahahahaha!

starpossum, you ARE one of my friends, cause you love Lano and Woodley, like me! And I'd love to! [email protected]

I'd love for any of you to add me; I always love meeting people on my favourite TV show forum! We always have stuff to talk about, that way =D

PS I'm aware that I used 'love' three times in one sentence, but I'm just a very loving person.

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

Thanks mate!! :D Look out for starpossum ^____^

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] liveloveburndie_x 18 years ago

omg lol i laughed so hard while reading all these quotes, i haven't watched my dvd in ages, ive gotta go get it out and watch it soon!

I love it when frank is running around the church in 'An easter Story' and colin is just standing in one spot watching him run around. And when frank finally stops and turns to colin and checks his head up and grins, then relises that it's colin. Wow that bit makes me laugh hahaha XD

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

LMAO that bit's hilarious. I also love Franks tighty whities :P

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] TheBlueBerk 18 years ago

For such a skinny, lanky-looking man, Frank has a gorgeous body. I love his back.

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

Well he'd have to be at least a little bit fit to do that scene =P

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] TheBlueBerk 18 years ago

He would have to be unbelievably fit to do all his stunts! He's practically an acrobat.

Actually, he IS an acrobat! All those flips and stuff he does...

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

If you think those stunts on the show are something, you just wait 'til you see Good Bye... you just wait! ;)

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] TheBlueBerk 18 years ago

LMFAO!

"you just wait 'til you see Good Bye... you just wait! ;)"

I can just see you doing shifty eyes, there...

Well, I saw The Island, and a few of their live performances over my short lifetime, and they've never failed to impress me. The stunts are awesome.

In fact, The Adventures of Lano and Woodley is what inspired me to start doing back flips off my kitchen table. I think my parents were more impressed/horrified, rather than annoyed, so that was nice.

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

At least ther weren't annoyed, eh? =P
But seriously, Frank does a stunt in Good Bye that will knock your effing socks off.

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] georgiefatboy 18 years ago

I saw Good Bye twice and they didn't do it either time, but I know about it, my friend saw it and told me about it.

"Take that into your back face!" - Col, Lano and Woodley

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

They didn't do the super mega stunt either time?! WHY NOT?!?!?!

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] TheBlueBerk 18 years ago

I don't mind if you tell us about the stunt, starpossum - does anyone else?

[–] eldon-10 18 years ago

I don't mind.
I really, really, REALLY wanna know!

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

Alrighty then. Frank made Col a sign to celebrate them splitting up after all the years, and Frank's standing behind it showing it off but Col doesn't like it so he tells the stagehands to life it back up into the rafters. However, Frank gets stuck on it and he ends u p hanging from the roof sitting on this sign! So after a lot of talking etc. Col gets ten blokes out of the audience (including my Dad =D) to hold a net-type-thing below Frank and he FALLS FROM THE FREAKING CEILING. It was hilarious =P
And afterwards Frank was running around shaking all of the blokes' hands and kissing their heads and stuff going, "Oh, thank you, thank you SO much!!" ROFLLMFAO

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] eldon-10 18 years ago

Cool!!!

It's so funny, cos I just saw the pictures of Frank on the sign. He was like, 20 feet above the ground!!

I so wish I could have seen them perform live!

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

Lmao yeah, it was bloody brilliant, and hilarious! =D
ZOMG, pictures? Where?!

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] eldon-10 18 years ago

I saw them on a thread on the Lano and Woodley forum.
(I think under the topic: live performances.)
They look pretty awesome!

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

...There's a Lano & Woodley forum? Where?
*points to self* N00B!

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] TheBlueBerk 18 years ago

Well, I'm pretty butch! Maybe he'll pick me to fall onto... *swoons*

I think a video of that stunt's been uploaded onto YouTube, just from someone's video camera.

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

Naughty them for using a video camera =P My mum got told off for using her camera phone!

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] eldon-10 18 years ago

Here's the address for the forum. I found it a while ago as a signature on one of these Lano and Woodley threads.

http://colandfrank.proboards56.com/index.cgi

Enjoy.

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

Thanks! :D

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] cowsgo_honk 18 years ago

hey pplz.. i read through all of that.. i decided to sign up so that i can actually get some QUOTES! coz i coudnt find any on the internet..
after reading all of that.. i think u forgot a few which i am totally in love with..

kick ball change, kick ball change, point and flex, point and flex, and twist and thrust and twist and thrust, and walk walk an dleap and hold.. and lunge lunge walk walk walk arms head and bow!!
- starquest.. genious. i learnt the dance moves.. (so sad) pplz at school thought i was retarded.

GUITAR SOLO!!!
- starquest

thats all i can think of.. im trying to remember some from primal warrier coz its like my favourite episode! (genious!)

anyway! enjoy.. thanks for putting all of the quotes up for me! :P

[–] starpossum 18 years ago

'pplz at school thought i was retarded'
That I can understand ^____^ jk. I tried them in Drama class once and my teacher hasn't looked at me properly ever since. =P

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"Elves are cool, man." - Orlando Bloom

[–] eldon-10 18 years ago

How funny!!

Since everyone signed up to the forum, it has become rather quiet around here!!!

[–] TheBlueBerk 18 years ago

I've been missing this forum! I like the ProBoards one, but this one is friendly and not so spammed with crap posts.

cowsgo_honk, I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who knows the dance! Let me tell you, I now know not to do the 'I'm In Love' dance whilst singing the song that you recorded and put on your Mp3 player. Especially during the walk to school.

[–] eldon-10 18 years ago

You're right about that.

I can just imagine someone doing that dance on the way to school.

Or even better, do it in the jungle - in the Vietnam war
- what a good strategy!

[–] rachcooper 18 years ago

My Fav Quote would be :
(Frank)Col, do you belive in Harold
(Col)Who's Harold
(Frank) God, you know the line , our father who art in heaven Harold be thy name.

So funny

[–] TheBlueBerk 18 years ago

I still love, "WHAT'S THAT NOISE?!" LMFAO! What a loon.

[–] cucumbergirl 18 years ago

Lano and Woodley are the BEST.
I cry with laughter everytime i watch their series.

It's not a quote but i like the part when frank has his head in his hand and he's eating ceral and then colin knocks his hand out the way and franks head falls into the ceral bowl. ROFL. You gotta love slapstick humor. LOL

"I don't care what anybody says...We are the TWO MEN!"

[–] confuzzeld_chick 17 years ago

These are from Primal Warrior:

Col: You're a stunted human being!

Col: Well, you didn't release your inner warrior...you released your inner dickwit!

Col: That’s it! The sessions over! Free time till lunch! So you can read a book, or go for a walk, or chat amongst yourselves!
Frank: Great! I’m going to go for a long walk, and collect autumn leaves
Col: Well you better make it a really long walk!
Frank: Why?
Col: It’s spring!

'TTOW!'- BJ & Tyler, The Amazing Race

[–] squijette 17 years ago

Haha yeah i just read when you guys were talking about the stunt ahahah that was genius.
When i saw it Frank said it must be buff, butch men, no one else. So this little kid gets up to help and Franks sitting up there and hes like "KID KID KID....dont mean to be rude but sit the *beep* down" aahahaha it was classic at the time :D
Man i'll miss them :'(

[–] TheBlueBerk 17 years ago

I had a bit of a cry at their show... is that wrong?

I have some favourites from their Good Bye show, now. I LOVED "Hi guy, try Thai high pie! Bye!" I've been saying it all week!

I suppose, though, there are going to be some quotes I mention that only the people from the Melbourne show on Thursday would get. I watched the Good Bye DVD, and there's a lot of differences.

So I'll stop.

[–] squijette 17 years ago

haha nah its not wrong...i cried too :(...but in he goodbye dvd there's this girl aboslutely balling her eyes out lol :S

yeah i also loved...'breath in and out and in and out and continue that...for the rest of your lives' haha i just thought was genuinely a good joke...

and that tennis hing...where they got some one in the audience for slow motion ahahaha.....at the show i went to the person they chose said some funny joke and franks like 'the audience member isn't supposed to be funnier than us ok' hahaha it was good :)

[–] starpossum 17 years ago

I *almost* cried. It's so sad.
Hi Guy! Try Thai High Pie! Aye!! Bye!
When I saw it for the second time, when Frank did 'the stunt', a girl went up to catch him even though they asked for butch guys and this emo guy made Frank kiss him on the lips =P

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"...what an illogical mood swing." - Frank Woodley

[–] TheBlueBerk 17 years ago

Look at your signature, starpossum! =D

That audience member was WEIRD! Why wouldn't she let go? LMAO!

I watched every special feature, including Good Bye with commentary, straight after watching the show on DVD (not to mention having a good cry). I sat in front of my TV for about four hours just watching and rewatching. Col's home movie is great. And he has kids! How CUTE!

[–] eldon-10 17 years ago

It is sad.

Guess what I found... two more ways of spelling the 'i' sound.

1) Simply: I
2) Why

Why Hi Guy, I Try Thai High Pie, Bye!

[–] starpossum 17 years ago

Ooh yes, my signature! :D
Eldon, you forgot aye...
I haven't got the DVD yet, I'm hoping to get it for Christmas. OMG HOME VIDEO!! :D

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"...what an illogical mood swing." - Frank Woodley

[–] eldon-10 17 years ago

Oh how could I forget that one!

Far out, only Lano and Woodley could think of a thing like that!

[–] starpossum 17 years ago

Lol, absolutely.

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"...what an illogical mood swing." - Frank Woodley

[–] TheBlueBerk 17 years ago

"And don't eat a BAYbee!"

LMFAO! =D

Hi guy, try Thai high pie! - Frank Woodley, Good Bye, 2006

[–] TheBlueBerk 17 years ago

"On the count of three, everyone lower their expectations."

AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I used that one in class, and my Psychology teacher wasn't too happy with my mocking of her teaching methods... =D

Hi guy, try Thai high pie! - Frank Woodley, Good Bye, 2006

[–] starpossum 17 years ago

OHMAHFAHGAH "And don't eat a BAYbee!" makes me piss myself EVERY FREAKING TIME. I use it all the time and it makes everyone else laugh, too. Even my friend who hates Lano & Woodley, which I'm pretty proud about. ...Proud about the fact that she laughed, not that she hates them... I'll stop now.

"On the count of three, everyone lower their expectations."
I haven't heard that one... Or, if I have, I can't remember it. I MUST GET THE DVD!

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"...what an illogical mood swing." - Frank Woodley

[–] TheBlueBerk 17 years ago

And while this one is back on top, can I just say how happy I am that people are coming back to post here! I missed you guys... =(

Hi guy, try Thai high pie! - Frank Woodley, Good Bye, 2006

[–] starpossum 17 years ago

Whoo! I love you too! ^w^
I get an email anytime someone talks on here... I'M WATCHING YOU ALL

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"...what an illogical mood swing." - Frank Woodley

[–] TheBlueBerk 17 years ago

Aww! *goes all bashful* You! *hits playfully*

Hi guy, try Thai high pie! - Frank Woodley, Good Bye, 2006

[–] starpossum 17 years ago

*hits back just as playfully*
But not in a hommus way.

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"...what an illogical mood swing." - Frank Woodley

[–] TheBlueBerk 17 years ago

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD! LMFAO! Bi jingoes, that was a good one.

Homos. *beep* brilliant.

Hi guy, try Thai high pie! - Frank Woodley, Good Bye, 2006

[–] TheBlueBerk 17 years ago

LMAO! They put '*beep*' instead of a particular naughty word starting with 'f'.

Hi guy, try Thai high pie! - Frank Woodley, Good Bye, 2006

[–] starpossum 17 years ago

Lol, they don't have the 'swearing or non-swaering' option like on The Island DVD?

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"...what an illogical mood swing." - Frank Woodley

[–] TheBlueBerk 17 years ago

No, IMDb automatically changes swearing on posts!

Hi guy, try Thai high pie! - Frank Woodley, Good Bye, 2006

[–] whis0013 17 years ago

I just about piss myself laughing every time I watch Frank's antics and whining in The Girlfriend lol.

I've just been introduced to The Two Men and now I'm in love lol. Just annoyed that I didn't get the chance to see them live at all. Better hunt around for the DVDs now :p

"Well, you didn't release your inner warrior...you released your inner dickwit!"