MovieChat Forums > Werewolf (1996) Discussion > Favorite MST3k quotes

Favorite MST3k quotes

posted 19 years ago by annieskid
117 replies | jump to latest

Here are a couple for starters (this is one of my favorite episodes, by the way)

"The Ford Ranger, the official truck of the English Patient"

Yuri: "...It's the American way"

Servo: "though there are no Americans in this film"

Mike: "Keith Bielderbeck, building a better back for you"

"As a recovering werewolf, i'm very happy with my Krafmatic adjustable bed."

After the werewolf crashes his car into those barrels of gasoline

"the LEAST successful werewolf in the history of the world"

"so his plan is to rid the world of securitiy guards one by one, by turning them into werewolves and having them crash their cars...well it seems to be working so far"

(shot of ceiling fan) "De Niro...Snipes...The Fan"

"thanks for turning off the bad soundtrack"

"boom! another hairstyle"

[–] 19 years ago

[deleted]

[–] impyofthesanjou 19 years ago

Most of my favorites come from when they introduce "The Keeper"

"Dictator For Life: Santa"

"Well, just head on down to the crawlspace and i'll be there to kill you."

"I've been issued as your best friend."

"I swear, that's my last security guard."

"Whipe that skeleton of the table and give in to the PASSION!"

[–] Smells_Like_Cheese 19 years ago

Question, is this the one where some girl gets attacked by like a werewolf and I think Servo goes "Call ya sometime!" or something like that? If so, this is the very first episode of MST3K I saw! What a great show!.

I mean, Led Zeppelin didn't write tunes that every one liked. They left that to the Bee Gees.

[–] zlada 18 years ago

2 of my favorites haven't been mentioned yet that I saw.

Natalie: He's turning into some kind of BEEST!
Tom: Turned into beets? That's horrible!

Natalie comes upstairs with her jacket hung over one shoulder.
Crow: She needs jacket-wearing lessons.

My all time favorite is "Now that she's a werewolf she'll have three rows of breasts!"

The sketches with Mike turning into a WereCrow were some of my favorite sketches of all time.

Draco: I taught the sorting hat a new trick! *places hat on Harry's head*
Sorting Hat: VIRGIN!

[–] jezebel_sc 19 years ago

In the bar, Natalie says something completely unintelligible like "but over my dead body," and Mike accuses her of using "plu-perfect past tense."

[–] scythe1138 19 years ago

Yeah that was hilarious. I can't remember what she said it to, but Natalie said "Well maybe by then its too late." Then Mike says something like "Wow, the prepositional pluperfect subjunctive"

[–] terryinwva 18 years ago

actually i'm watching it right now and mike says,
"Wow, the future conditional pluperfect subjunctive."

[–] scythe1138 19 years ago

Crow: (pool cue falls over) The cue! The cue! I'm sorry sir, you'll have to pay for the cue.

Servo (at Sitting Bull mural): Thanks for killing me and all my people! Enjoy our land!
Crow (as cowboy in painting): Did I have too much mescal or does anyone else see those Indians in the sky over there?

Mike (after Werewolf Paul crashes through window and camera immediately pans to Yuri's blank face): Huh. . .

Natalie: You and Noel is in it for fame and fortune?
Crow: Yes. . .we IS!

Crow: Rock Em Sock Em Archaeologists!

Tommy: He needs to get his head straightened oot or somethin'
Servo: The hoser!

Servo: She can't help but be impressed with the way I handled that situation; the way I scurried out when he ordered me to

Crow: They better have another one of these jackets at chess king!

Crow: Paul! You is a warwilf!

Crow (as Noel enters): Grandma!

Servo: Oh a random citizen who can kick a werewolf's ass!

Natalie: I'm very concerned about your wellbeing(sounds like wallaby)
Servo: His wallaby?!

(one of my fav MST3K moments; simply because Servo laughed so much) Yuri: I'll take a walk!
Crow: Over to KIRK DOUGLAS' HOUSE!!!!

Natalie: This is absolutely fascinating
Crow: *scoffs* Right?

Natalie: I'm not holding anything back!
Crow: Certainly not talent...

Natalie: You may just be our last hope. . .
Crow: I'm sure someday they'll explain what he's the last hope for.

(after Yuri hits Paul with a werewolf skull and yells at him maniacally) Mike: I'm sorry! Clearly you're not a psychopath, my mistake!

Mike (at Paul musing): You know if you look at it a certain way I actually won that fight. . .

Servo:. . .Well they cast me I guess they want me to do something.

Sam the Keeper: We could always use another pretty face around here.
Servo: ANOTHER?!

Crow: Whar you liff is incretible (took me a long time to figure out what he was saying)

[–] koolchickz13 19 years ago

Natalie: If you look at the structure of the leg...
Servo: You can see that I'm stalling.

(during the hospital scene, baby starts crying)
Mike: So they put suspected werewolves in the neonatal unit?

(bar scene, close up of fat biker)
Mike: It's Chubby Ramone!

Servo: My mom's not really dead...I was just flirting.

Mike: Heard it in a love song...gotta go.

Noel: People usually know when a man is a yanaglanche...he takes on a series of weird body habits...
Crow: He wears toast in his pants
Noel: ...like sleeping like a coyote, nose to anus.
Servo: What? It's fun!

Natalie: This isn't the type of animal I'm familiar with.
Servo: It's not a bunny!

Servo: Paul, you ist beink a war-wilf!

Paul: So...made any earth-shattering discoveries lately?
Servo: I barely know what a hat is!

[–] Shepja87 17 years ago

'Oh she isn't becoming a werewolf she just joined the cast of cats'

'Oh...oh...shall I? YES! I'll take the next step'

'I miss not wearing pants'

'Oh the wind from the skull is knocking me over'

'Audience, whats your diagnosis?'

'Butterfly kisses gone horribly wrong'
'Butter-DIE kisses'

'Hey i'm just on the throne, come on in here and talk to me'

[–] Uvtha 19 years ago

Oh god... the "you is a warwilf" thing gets me everytime. Gold.

I also like when the security guard honks.

[–] lukerat88 19 years ago

"Yep, bikers LOVE harpsicord music"- Crow
"We could use another pretty face" "Another?" Old guy/Tom Servo

[–] FudKicker_Malloy 19 years ago

It's been eons since I've seen this episode, though one line has stuck with me:

[Full moon out, he's starting the transformation, crawling on the ground and growling; all the while approaching a car with a guy and girl making out]

Girl: (screaming) "What is that?!"
Crow: "It's Eddie Vedder!"

Your father raped you and your mother ran off with a hotdog salesman.

[–] The_Cackling_Stump 19 years ago

Mike(imitating Natalie): You is oh warwelf!!
oh, and
Servo: Think of my fahmily in Latvia!

(after 2nd innocent woman is killed in the movie)
Servo: This is good, because it's been a couple of minutes since a woman was brutalized.

(On a close up a Yuri)Crow(as Yuri): I wish my face could be tighter!

Noel: At the risk of sounding nuts....
Crow: I've replaced my toes with grapes.

"Why don't presidents fight the war?
Why do they always send the poor?"

[–] atomicsmile 19 years ago

"Paul, you is a warwilf!"

"Boom! Another hair style."

"Uhh, the dead sheep was here when I moved in..."

"People say 'rack' to me a lot."

"No shoes. He was killed for his Nikes."

"Oh come on! Just sweep that skeleton off the table and give into the passion!"

[–] electronsexparty 19 years ago

I love they way Mike and the 'bots just sort of make fun of the character accents and stupidity.

The Keeper's "Weird things a-coming, weird things a-going... 'round here" song was so hilarious. I laugh like crazy ever time, I can't even make out if Mike and the 'bots even say anything. I think they just snicker.

The way they make fun of the ridiculous opening and closing songs is great. (Speaking of songs, the girl group skit is brillant and hilarious.)

There are too many quotes I love. This is one of my favorite episodes because the riffing is top notch and movie is hilarious all on it's own as well.

------------------------------------------------
"He doesn't speak your language dickweed!" - Tom Servo in Pod People

[–] Mr_JL 19 years ago

The one line that makes me laugh even years later is:

(Pan-shot of a museum. Two canine-like skeletons are side by side, one partially obscuring the view of the other, making it look as if a head is coming out both ends of only one animal)

Mike: It's the intact remains of a "Push-Me-Pull-You"...

[–] zlada 18 years ago

I also loved that shot when they said "this dinosaur was found with a head coming out of it's butt."

Draco: I taught the sorting hat a new trick! *places hat on Harry's head*
Sorting Hat: VIRGIN!

[–] haggicide 19 years ago

My favorite part of this episode was when the guy was transforming, and the camera kept cutting back to the warwilf skelton with its jaw dropped. Every time it showed the skeleton, Servo would sing a very operatic "Aaaahhhh!". Cracks me up every time.

[–] ih8tt 19 years ago

All the merciless mocking of Joe Estevez including, but not limited to, "Can I be in the movie now?"

[–] zlada 18 years ago

Ahhh, Joe Estevez...this makes me miss my copy of Soultaker, which my VCR ate some time ago...off to ebay i go.

Draco: I taught the sorting hat a new trick! *places hat on Harry's head*
Sorting Hat: VIRGIN!