can u blame deena??? - Terror in the Family (1996) Discussion

[–] ElaineofAstolat 12 years ago

WTF? I hope you're joking, because she didn't deserve to be beat up just because she tried to clean her daughter's room. Her parents paid for that house, they had every right to go in there whenever they wanted. Deena didn't do a damn thing to help them. She didn't have a job, or even do her homework. If I ever have a child who acts like that, Lord help them is all I can say.

reply

[–] deem714 12 years ago

Something tells me that the OP is a 14 year old girl with parents like Deena's.

I can't blame her because her mother drowns her sorrows in booze and her father does nothing but make those wooden bowls in the basement. That is the ~reason~ she started the things that she did. It is NOT the ~EXCUSE~.

Her mother was a wimp though... "Todd, She'll go ballistic if she finds us in here"

I would have taken her door away and hung a curtain instead. I would also install window guards on her windows.

"Oh Thank you God! Thank you so BLOODY much!" Basil Fawlty

reply

[–] fiatlux-1 11 years ago

The OP is trolling.

"I'd say this cloud is Cumulo Nimbus."
"Didn't he discover America?"
"Penfold, shush."

reply

[–] movlov15 11 years ago

You better be joking. Parents have the right to enter their teens' rooms when they please, because it's their house. They pay for it. They're raising the kids. They're the ones working to support their kids' education. Teens never have a right to say, "You're not allowed in here." They're not in charge. Usually when they say that, they have something to hide. I was a teen once, I would know. Deena never cleans her room, never does her homework, skips school, lies to her parents, gets her little brother in trouble so she can have her fun, and now hits her own family. She doesn't deserve for anyone to defend her.

reply

[–] movlov15 11 years ago

You better be joking. Parents have the right to enter their teens' rooms when they please, because it's their house. They pay for it. They're raising the kids. They're the ones working to support their kids' education. Teens never have a right to say, "You're not allowed in here." They're not in charge. Usually when they say that, they have something to hide. I was a teen once, I would know. Deena never cleans her room, never does her homework, skips school, lies to her parents, gets her little brother in trouble so she can have her fun, and now hits her own family. She doesn't deserve for anyone to defend her.

reply

[–] sxymommacitaprincess_227 11 years ago

Ok sure they have a right cuz they pay for the house.BUT IT DOES NOT MEAN THEY HAVE A *beep* RIGHT TO GET INTO HER STUFF! Thats invasion of privacy! Her dad should have known better than to try to grab her backpack and go through it.....as a result he got a broken hand and he deserved it for trying to snoop through deena's stuff.

reply

[–] movlov15 11 years ago

Ok I don't mean that they should just go through her things for no reason, but they can if they feel that she's in danger or hiding something dangerous from them. If she's failing classes, skipping school, hanging around a bad crowd, and turning violent...then yes they have a right. Unless you're an adult, and an adult with children, you can't possibly understand that. And you clearly don't. I can tell you're either a teen or younger.

reply

[–] super-staff 11 years ago

I'm not going to say that Deena assaulting her parents was right. It was not. However, the parents were not innocent victims. Her mother is a clingy, posssessive alcoholic. This becomes more apparent in the later part of the movie, which I think most people don't bother to watch. Or are too blinded by 'sympathy' to care. In fact, her mother becomes just slightly physically and verbally abusive when she becomes drunk later on, berating both the aunt and Deena for 'abandoning' her.

So, yeah, Deena was lashing out at her over that. Hell, even her brother, who was not all violent, wanted to run away as well. The father is passive-aggressive and a bit of a douche as well, not as bad as the mother though.
As for the invasion of privacy issue, yes, I think the parents could have handled that better. Instead of searching her room, they should have had a genuine heart-to-heart with her (no, not talking down to her) about what was happening. And even if that didn't work, they should have punished her and actually stuck with it (they kept excusing her constantly which is bad parenting). And maybe even gotten her counseling or some other sort of medical help.

My point is, again, Deena was not right to hurt her family but her parents were not saints either. Oh, and before someone is all "NYAH NYAH I BET UR A LITTLE KID WAAAAH", no, I'm an adult.

reply

[–] parisel 11 years ago

No parents are saints. No family is perfect. But many kids have it far worse than that vicious brat and don't act like that. She was a sociopath.

And if parents are worried about their kids, they not only have a right, they have a duty to find out what's going on. My parents would be all over me, not wimping out like these people. Of course I'm an angel, so no worries.

I guess it's like looking at clouds. You see one thing and I see another. Peace.

reply

[–] super-staff 11 years ago

Spoken by someone who probably only saw half of the movie. The parents were worried about her but they were also possessive, constantly let her get away with things, and her mother was abusive toward her which is shown at the end. Also, yeah, stop bringing yourself into the argument. Your upbringing is irrelevant and nobody gives a damn about how much of an 'angel' you are.

reply

[–] parisel 11 years ago

You certainly don't behave like an adult. But go on your humorless way and be well. I won't be reading any more of your angry posts.

I guess it's like looking at clouds. You see one thing and I see another. Peace.

reply

[–] super-staff 11 years ago

Yes, because disagreeing with you and calling you out for adding pointless crap about how 'angelic' you are makes me less of an adult.

reply

[–] Tracey73 9 years ago

Oh, and before someone is all "NYAH NYAH I BET UR A LITTLE KID WAAAAH", no, I'm an adult.

You may be an adult, but I can guarantee you have never tried raising a teenager, particularly one who is extremely defiant. Every parent should respect their teen's privacy until their teen gives them a reason to suspect something, which is what Deena did. She was acting out in every horrible way as possible.

I have always respected my (now) 19 year old son's privacy until he began acting extremely depressed around the age of 14 (along with some other things). After trying to have heart-to-heart talks with him, I read part of his journal. I found out that not only was he severely depressed, he was suicidal. Yes, we immediately got him to his medical doctor and a counselor. Knock on wood, he is doing pretty good now (still in counselling and taking medication for bipolar disorder).

Most parents don't want to violate their kid's privacy. I know I did not enjoy it, but until you have been a parent of a teenager who is acting out, you can not possibly know how much worrying and sleepless nights you suffer. You're life is consumed with trying to help your child the best way you know how. Many times, by searching their room or reading something they have wrote (again, AFTER they have given you reason to worry), you may be saving their life.

There is nothing easy about raising a teenager, particularly one who is suffering mental illness (depression, addiction, eating disorders, cutting etc). There is nothing fun about searching your kid's room, knowing you are initially betraying their privacy, but you're only doing so because you care for your child's well-being. Btw how on earth would you expect them to force her to go to counseling when they can't even get her to attend school. Short of having her admitted to a drug rehabilitation center or psychiatric facility (which is extremely difficult due to the shortage of beds), your hands are tied.

(I would like to add that I do agree that both parents and the entire family was dysfunctional and needed counseling themselves.)

The beauty is I'm learning how to face my beast ~ Blue October

reply

[–] hodie 11 years ago

The minute Deena hit her mother she lost any rights she may have had. Personally, I think Deena should have been sent back to the pound.
As long as her parents are responsible for her and they can't trust her to tell the truth, the parentshave no recourse but to find out for themselves what is going on.

"Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?"

reply

[–] usersince03 11 years ago

Yes the mother had a drink problem but I think she was wrong what she did to her parents.

reply

[–] 11 years ago

[deleted]

[–] kairingler 11 years ago

sure they had a right,, when you are a parent as I was for over 10 years, you have every right in the world,, I would search my teen step daughters room once a month , to make sure we didn't find drugs cigarettes or alcohol,, and one day you know what we found,, condoms hidden in the heating vent register,, they were melting and could have caused a fire,, so yeah parents got every right in the world to check a kids bedroom.

are you going to bark all day little doggie,, or are you going to bite

reply

[–] GIRobotII 9 years ago

Hitting her mother was absolutely NOT the answer. And I agree with those of you who answered. Damn right they have the right to enter her room. It may be her room, but it's THEIR house, which takes precidence. As long as a child is dependent on their parents (which means as long as the child lives at home with the parents, as long as the parents are the ones paying the bills, if the child is a college student, and the parents pay the tuition etc, each of these counts as dependent), as long as this is the case, they hold leverage on the child. This means their power supersedes the child's. They get to call the shots, and the child's age by itself is irrelevant. It alone will not emancipate the child from their power. Only if/when the child (both) actually does move out and live elswhere other than their residence, and supports himself/herself, other than on their money. Then, and only then, will their power end. Otherwise, until then, they hold the right to amend/overrule/veto.

reply

[–] andromache3 9 years ago

OP it's obvious you're a troll or a psychopath. FVCK off.

Don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want.

reply