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Things I learned from watching Santa With Muscles


- You can kill a bad guy by knocking him over with a door.

What else can we come up with?

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"Peace Sells...But Who's Buying?" -- Dave Mustaine, Megadeth

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[deleted]

-Electronic moving Christmas decorations activate without warning and can actually push a 400 pound man off a roof.
-Whatever an archeologist does, it must be terrifying.
-Some crystals can explode for some reason.
-Small town police stations with only three cruisers compensate by carrying rocket launchers they aren't trained to use.
-Apparently it is more of a crime to drive by the police in a startling manner than it is to torture people into selling thier property.
Anyone else? At least three other people out there must have seen this.

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Also, orphanages have about three kids.

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"You...went into outer space. You?"
"Sure. You've never been?"

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Ron Howards brother is a vehicular genius....

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The Santa suit he just so happens to find, fits perfectly. Despite the fact Hulk Hogan is about 6'8 and 285lbs.

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- If you train really, really hard, you'll be strong enough to stop a speeding ice cream truck with your bare hands
- Methane gas is green
- Crystals explode when dropped, but not when struck against one another
- Mall Santas have longer lines than Space Mountain at Disney World
- If you're a 6",7' billionaire with an athlete's build, a celebrity persona, and a cereal brand which bares your likeness, no one will recognize you or even notice that you're missing
- Telling the proprietor of an orphanage that she's better off without the "homeless little losers" is not going to get you laid

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Do they still have kids sit on Santa's lap in the US?
I don't think it happens now in England?
Though you see it lots in films.



www.youtube.com/eastangliauk

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Millionaires spend their spare time playing paintball with the police

If you want to enforce your will by torturing someone, hire a Archeologist

Two bottles of salad dressing, poured on the street, will cause an entire fleet of police cars to fishtail and crash.

The best weapon to fight a 6'7", 300 pound wrestler with is a styrofoam candy cane.

Small town police forces generally employ rocket launchers to stop traffic offenders.

The weapon of choice for holding an entire orphange hostage is a t-square.

Goat at Ruthless Reviews

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-Singing 'Angel baby' very off key makes church windows sparkle
- it's ok to let little orphan kids play in dangerous underground catacombs because they haven't got any family members to care if they die or get lost
- orphanages let random adult men dressed as elves and Santa stay over for the night

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Santa Claus can body slam the Abominable Snowman

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