Upon further viewings, and perhaps a more mature understanding of human nature than when I was younger.... it seems to me that Jan's intent on putting Bess through his requests is almost a bitter type of punishment. I don't think he really finds enjoyment out of it, I feel as though he is punishing Bess for the fact that he is 'dead.'
Thoughts?
But why would he punish her? It's not her fault in any way.. besides I think he truly loves her.
Your question intrigues me as well, so I really wanna know why people genuinly think Jan asked Bess to do this.
I think that he does not want to punish Bess...to me it seems that he punishes himself...for being a cripple for being useless. He is depressed and suicidal! Maybe he believes that this is what he deserves. He does not think that much about Bess. He might even think that inviting her to meet other men would eventually set her free. There is no rationality behind this request and no intention to harm Bess either...only despair.
shareHe wants Bess to experience being with another man and hopefully fall in love with one of them so she isn't completely destroyed when he dies. His lashing out at her clothing is also another way he is trying to distance her from himself for her benefit.
It actually isn't that unusual. People often encourage their partners to open the relationship or "date other people" when a relationship is coming to an end in hopes of minimizing damage. Of course it rarely ever works.
yeah based on what he said I had the impression that he just wanted her to find someone new to fall in love with and to be able to experience sex since he doesn't think that she'll ever be able to have sex with him again and doesn't want to hold her back. despite having good intentions, this did not work at all and she ended up getting more and more depressed because she was torn between doing something for the man she loved and doing what she morally felt was wrong. that's why i feel the doctor described her as being 'good' at the end. she was having sex with random men despite not getting any pleasure out of it because she thought that this would save Jan. at least that's how i interpreted it.
shareHe did not ask her to do what she was doing, she took it to that level on her own. You are misjudging him, He wanted her to love again and find her happiness else where. Not to have sex with everyone she meets.
shareI thought Jan was perhaps the most reasonable, the most open-minded, the most generous person in the film.
When he found out that his condition is unlikely to get any better, he tried to do his best to keep Bess away from him. He wanted her to live, to fall in love again with someone else. However, knowing Bess well, he must have known that she would never cheat on him for her own sake. Hence, he presented the whole case as if she doing it for him.
He didn't tell her to become a hooker. It was Bess who took his suggestion completely wrong.
It doesn't really matter - WHY he asked her to do that.
What matters is how seriously she takes his request.
'Stupid f...ing white man!'share
DEAD MAN (1995)
In situations like that (I think someone else on this thread pointed this out already), it's not uncommon for one party to tell the other to not "wait for" them, so to speak.
Combine that not-uncommon notion with the fact that the dude is, as the doctor said, totally *beep* up on prescription pills and, well....
The bitter thinkers buy their tickets to go find God like a piggy in a fair
For me one of the best parts of the movie was how Bess Jan and Dodo all wanted the couple to be happy but everyone just made things worse in their attempt to simplify things.
Dodo has compassion and tries to help but can't understand how either one feels.
Bess is hell bent on being a devout wife she can't see that Jan's ego cant allow that. Anyway her more important fault is believing in her relationship with god.
But out of all three characters I related most to Jan. His ego is most hurt than his body. He is so reserved in front of his best friends, he wants to be left alone and is not really interested in living (attempted suicide). Till he comes up with a plan to save bess , who is to leave him and find a secret lover as her church won't let her divorce, he believes that his own hedonistic and godless (not a negative word for me) lifestyle is the best way for bess to move on without realising that bess is as prudish as the church (he asks her to be with a man while she translates this to be a slut)
He hopes that dodo will help but after talking to her he realises that the only way to do it is to make bess think she was doing it for him so he makes up that whole fetish.
very sad and very beautiful.