"Smug and happy"? You think I'm smug and happy at the way we've been treated for thousands of years for something we can not change? And believe me, I've tried. When people like you treat us like evil, abnormal subhumans to be changed if possible, not for what we did, but for what we are, do you think even my family can insulate me from that? Ask yourself, what have gay people ever done to deserve the hatred you people have heaped on us? In a lot of countries in this supposedly modern age, we can and are still being legally executed and no one even stops to ask themselves what we have ever done wrong. Have we killed anyone? Caused wars? No. We are simply evil because we offend your delicate sensibilities and a 4000-year old goatherder's memoirs say so.
Whatever the causes are for homosexuality, we have always existed. In all cultures, in all ages. Human tribal societies untainted by the male-dominated western religions once employed gay people widely as mediators and shamans. It exists not only in humans, but also in the natural world. I hope you won't start telling me that two-spirit people and bonobo apes grew up with an abusive drunkard father and a broken home too.
Even granting evolution, why has the trait persisted if it had no function? We obviously do not choose to reproduce, which is actually our only failing. But does that really justify the way you treat us? What the heck is wrong if we don't have kids anyway? Earth is overpopulated as it is. And heck, if the last people on Earth were a gay man and a gay woman, do you think the human race will die out? No. Sex is a mechanical thing. The one thing that differentiates us from you, is that we can only form romantic attachments with people of our own gender. And what part of that threatens you so much that you actually want to either eradicate or forcefully change us?
The only thing I've learned as I grew up is that this world is a sick and cruel place, not because of us, but because of people like you, insulated by your "normality" and passing judgement on other human beings as if they were merely cattle. Seriously? Some may commit suicide? I suppose you'll label us with numbers, then put us through these "treatments" and then make pie graphs of who survived, and who didn't. Then you'll nod wisely as you examine the failures and go back to your "normal" society for lunch. When you talk about "altering homosexuality" you are delving into well-trodden territory. It's called eugenics. The Nazis tried it too. I suppose you have no idea what a pink triangle is don't you? Or the fact that many weren't even freed like other holocaust victims after WW2 ended? And almost no one remembers them now, except us.
So no, my dear entity of the first person plurals, I'm not bloody smug and happy. Some days, I wish we could actually just throw away the engrained empathy we have acquired through growing up different and just start hitting you back. Maybe a real gay agenda and a real gay mafia, eh? Because beneath even the most flamboyant drag queen is anger you can't even begin to imagine, even with your emo-boy antisocial posturing. You don't know what real anger is until you feel the unreasoning hate of billions of fellow humans burning down your back every single moment of your waking life.
Imagine knowing that fact as a 12-year old. A lot of gay kids already commit suicide because of that alone, and those of us who survive all have our scars. You may be right that we are, in a sense, broken. Broken not by our immediate surroundings growing up, but by society and religion which has damned us from the moment of our birth.
Oh and of course, a thousand groveling licks on your boots for the attention, your glorious highness(es?).
P.S. Also I note the conspicuous absence of bisexuals in your theory. Where do they fit in, eh?
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