How unfortunate. #Spoilers#
This is truly awful and I'm stunned that so many have allowed it reach 7+ stars. Too many of those who've voted are clearly Gaiman fanboys. Well dont fret. I'm not about to attack your messiah, I'm a fan myself. But no amount of writing talent can cover up the fact that this is an absolute disaster, truly atrocious television.
It looks awful, reminding me of some god awful post apocalyptic Aussie teen drama that used to be on TV. Fortunately its name escapes me but the scars are left. The direction is so amateurish, that I'm surprised it was even aired. 'Low Budget!' you'll no doubt cry but i don't give a rat's ass, even for low budget this is poor. And no lack of money can ever excuse the utterly unbearable acting. How did that god awful tit of a man get the lead role. He was woeful. And Hunter. Good God. You'd think she was walking around with that spear up her arse. Everything that's wrong with this show can be seen in a single scene at the start of the final episode.
Incredibly unconvincingly, hunter writhes around in pain and is asked with pantomine intensity by the marquis 'do u keep your life anywhere' and then she, thank god, ends her acting career with the worst imaginable delivery of any lines i've seen in tv, even tarnishing Gaimans writing and making it look bad. Eventually she jumps up to make amends for her earlier betrayal. Suddenly she starts to make a strange mooing noise. Needless to say I laughed. Then I cringed as i realised why she was mooing. The terrible beast we've all been fearing down in this poor excuse for a labyrinth comes charging towards our 'heroes' and just when we thought they were doomed we breathe a sigh of relief as we realise they'll all be fine cuz its actually just a cow. A cow that for some reason has the dying alien sound effect from a number of mid 90's computer games attributed to it. Nevertheless richard kills it anyway and we all cheer as Hunter does us all a favour and lets it stampede her to death. Then the marquis de carabas appears again cuz the director remembered somebody else was supposed to be in the scene. And Neil wept.
The only moment of any real pleasure, and believe me it was fleeting, was when i saw Alan Johnson of Peep Show was the Marquis! And yet, he was bloody awful too.