MovieChat Forums > Welcome to the Dollhouse (1996) Discussion > Do You Know An Adult Dawn?

Do You Know An Adult Dawn?

posted 11 years ago by jefgg
12 replies | jump to latest

Do you know an adult Dawn? I think I do. I worked with a woman about ten years ago who latched on to me. I am not quite sure why. I suspect she did not have many friends. She didn't have any siblings and usually didn't have a boyfriend. She acted like I was a close friend. I considered her a casual friend at most. She really made the effort to keep in touch with me after she was fired for incompetence. I went through the motions. Last year she called me repeatedly about the RSVP to her wedding. I am not sure exactly why. I had replied no a few weeks before the RSVPs were due. I did not answer her calls and blocked her on facebook and LinkedIn. Now I feel a little guilty about it. She had been annoying me for years. She gave my information to a salesperson without asking permission. She called me up when she was drunk. She sent me group emails of chain letters without using blind copies. I think I am going to try to reconnect. Her trespasses look minor now.

[–] Spice99857 11 years ago

That was mean to ignore a lonely person who just wanted a friend.

[–] TracesOfLove 11 years ago

"That was mean to ignore a lonely person who just wanted a friend."

I know! Seriously! I know so many fake people who pretend that they are friends ("I went through the motions.")when they really aren't. Why was this person Facebook friends with them in the first place if they had no intention of really being their friend? I see this crap all the time on there. It's so lame how phoney people are.

SPRING BREAK FOREVER BITCHES!

[–] musicstardust67 11 years ago

The person described by the op does sound very annoying but I don't know if I would completely cut her off. Im sort of like an adult dawn anyway but I do have friends, im just awkward. I guess its sort of a had to be there type of thing.

You might wanna put on a bathing suit cuz you'll be channel surfin in no time!

[–] JacksCatGirl 10 years ago

I'm an adult Dawn, I'm still the weird one in my family, my sister is still the celebrated prized center only more so now after the big white wedding and babies galore, my nerd brother went on to become a hipster, and me well, I'm still myself only now I hold no shame and am no longer concerned with other people, especially my family, accepting me. I accept me and that is enough and in my adult life I have found others who accept and love me for who I am.

I'll never be the prize in my family's eyes, they'll never celebrate me, and I'm okay with that, the truth is I wouldn't like myself if I were, because if not being myself is the price I have to pay for their acceptance, for general acceptance, than it's not worth it, they're not worth it.

And I've come to learn that normal and perfect don't exist for they are only ideas and everyone has their own different idea of what normal and perfect are and not one is the same. Show me someone normal and perfect and I'll show you an insecure person who is great at masking huge flaws.

Jacks

[–] gentelg 10 years ago

I'll never be the prize in my family's eyes, they'll never celebrate me, and I'm okay with that, the truth is I wouldn't like myself if I were, because if not being myself is the price I have to pay for their acceptance, for general acceptance, than it's not worth it, they're not worth it.

You don't need then and they don't deserve you. Don't forget....You are the one who gets to pick out the nursing home. Shady Pines baby!

[–] 10 years ago

[deleted]

[–] zznoory 10 years ago

maybe talk to her? She seems desperate, maybe ill, but just don't be mean. If you're not interested than you're not interested. Or you could give her a chance to make her really happy.

[–] BlackMagikWoman 9 years ago

The worst thing you can do to a lonely person/outcast is to pity them. Don't offer fake friendship. It's very insulting, really, and says volumes about the person offering the friendship (i.e. "Oh, look at me! I'm such a good Samaritan, taking that pathetic, lowly being under my wing and offering them my kind-hearted company!"). I mean, the reason why lonely people are lonely is because they can see through bullsh** so easily to begin with. No one wants to be pitied or looked at like the only relationship they can get is one that's forced and contrived. Befriending someone out of pity is worse than going up to their face and telling them flat out, "There's something wrong with you and I don't like you." Besides, all you end up doing later, eventually, is resenting them for taking up your oh-so valuable time and energy. And then the "friendship" will end anyway. It's better to have no friends and be alone than to have a bunch of people around you who try to be your friend because they see you as a charity case; like you have some sort of disease and are pathetic. Now that's lonely.

However, you can still be civil and respectful towards them. Ignoring someone isn't nice, so at least have the courtesy to tell them why you wouldn't prefer to keep contact. It stings at first, but at least they will respect you more for it because you respected them by being upfront and honest with them.

[–] jefgg 9 years ago

When I worked with Eva (that is not her real name) over ten years ago she really wanted to hang out after work. We didn't know each other very well. She seemed nice but a little strange. It is somewhat difficult to repeatedly tell a co-worker you don't want to socialize with them. We went to a couple happy hours together. I was okay being a casual friend. She isn't the kind of person I would want to be close friends with. The difference between a casual friend and a close friend is enormous. I was never intentionally mean to her. If she had been a close friend stopping contact would be awful on my part. I figured it was better not to talk to her than to try to explain that I had never considered her more than a casual friend. I have a bit of a temper and was afraid I might accidentally say something hurtful. Eva used to tick me off when she did things like calling me up to five or six times a day. I don't know if she was delusional or just needy. Maybe seeing too many TV shows about stalkers made me paranoid. I hope she is happy. But I was afraid of possibly encouraging the delusions of someone who is not well.

[–] MrsJove 8 years ago

I mean, the reason why lonely people are lonely is because they can see through bullsh** so easily to begin with.

I agree wholeheartedly. I knew many people like that and felt pity towards them. "Why?" I thought as I thought of myself as lucky to have such a "great" group of friends. One day this chick I'll call Rose, said to me, "It's beyond me why you hang around those dumb ass chicks, they are full of *beep* I said, "Whaddaya mean, they're my friends, see, we've been friends for years, see, they're like my sisters, see!" In a very deffensive old school mobster voice! Lol, no, but you feel me? But... I knew just as much as Rose that these women I'd been hanging around with were indeed full of *beep* and continue to this day to be full of *beep* They talked about each other horribly (which got me thinking, imagine the *beep* they talk about you, mensa!), now about each others children. Its a vicious cycle that doesn't seem to end. Its sad and pathetic, but I've been free of their bs for years, tried to reconnect with one not too long ago, but nothing has changed, just gotten weirder. Too bad for her husband, he was happy that I called her back so she could have a friend at least...

I feel sometimes, most times, envious in a good way though, of women and men that have a solid friendship with other people not in their families. Its a beautiful thing, rare, but its there. I hope to some day too, find a friendship that'll last until we're too old to fight another day. My husband is my bestfriend, he's amazing, but I mean a friendship w/o anything else... ah one day.

Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are.

[–] FireMinstrel 8 years ago

That is what I felt was happening during my freshmen year of high school. Everyone who went there had been bullied, so people were compassionate enough not to bully others. However, I think a lot of kids had some misplaced compassion, and they offered me that "fake friendship". However, during my sophomore year, I made two real friends, and that was good enough for me to drop the fake friends and never look back. Thankfully, that number also multiplied in subsequent years(It's important for people to have your back in high school).

[–] lollipop15 9 years ago

I'm like Dawn in some ways, although I've never been a clingy friend.

I do know a girl who refers to her aquaintances as her best friends. Someone let her stay over at their house once (no idea why) and she took pictures of them whilst they were sleeping, then posted them on Facebook. She also had a crush on this guy, and sent death threats to a girl that told him he was good looking. She is very insecure and lonely but I do not feel sorry for her because of her horrible personality, and she is a compulsive liar too.

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