I think Bernie did that because she was hurting still. She just chopped off all of her long hair and started flirting with the hottest guy at the club. She didn't care that he was married; she just wanted to show that she's still hot and she can get anyone she wants. Gloria confronts her about this when they go to the carnival, and she basically admits to just that.
The guy Bernie goes to the hotel with is just a scumbag though. I know his wife is dying and everything, but if he really loved her he wouldn't want to sleep with other women. He goes on to profess his love for his wife and how he would never leave her. Well wtf, dude?! That pisses me off a LOT more than what Bernie does (and in this case, nothing. Unless people regularly nap in their shoes and clothes).
You're right that Bernie is a hypocrite in a way. It's never addressed, but maybe she doesn't view it in the same light as her own situation. Savannah and Robin are the 'other woman', they don't know what it's like being cheated on. Maybe Bernie is just focused on her own pain and situation.
Thankfully Robin drops Russell on his ass, as does Savannah (with a great monologue to boot!). In the end, the girls have seen the light and redeem themselves. So I don't have an issue with Bernie's hypocrisy. It's part of the story and the character development. Characters can (and should) have flaws, and the story is about overcoming them and being true to yourself.
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