Carol + motherhood

The scene at the baby shower in which Carol has her terrifying wheezing attack might have something to tell us about Carol's feelings (or lack of) about motherhood.

Elsewhere in the film when she has an attack we (and she) are provided with an external trigger to latch on to (exhaust, perm solution, bug spray, husband's grooming products, milk allergy test). However in this case, the trigger is not obvious. This may be the key scene in which we are given a firm possibility that Carol's illness is entirely psychosomatic, and I wonder if the very emotive subject of motherhood might be the trigger.

In the scenes immediately prior to this, motherhood is featured. The psychiatrist asks about her son and Carol provides clarification that Rory is her step-son. She uses her familiar question intonation that is indicative of her uncertainty about everything e.g. "He's my step-son?" almost as though she is seeking clarification of such a basic fact. Later the psychiatrist also uses an odd phrase; "What's inside you?"

The baby shower scene needs little explanation. Carol is remarkably tense at this event, and seems to melt into the background while women who are mothers/mothers-to-be boss and fuss and generally run the show. The women gossip about her appearance when she is absent and Carol appears to be under scrutiny. Carol's attempts to "mother" a little girl at the party are well-meaning but clumsy ("Very realistic", she says of a felt-pen picture). When the attack begins the little girl calls for her real Mommy to make things better, and Carol looks more of an outsider than ever, sitting in a panicked state on the edge of a room in which women are celebrating motherhood. The expectant mother looks almost disgusted, in fact.

Her relationship with her step-son is faltering and superficial. She doesn't appear to have decided whether she wants to be an active part of this child's life. Even if she hated him and wanted him gone, at least that would give a glimpse of her opinions, but since her character is not fully formed we actually have no idea what she thinks about having Rory in her life.

Believe me, I know that motherhood is not the single pinnacle experience of womanhood, and that a great many women are happily committed to not pursuing it. But Carol is a woman who is absent in her own life, who has shied away from major decisions. Just pursuing the subject of a sofa colour causes her extreme difficulty. Motherhood is something that women of Carol's age must give some thought to, with any number of possible conclusions that are right for them and their particular circumstances. Yet for Carol it is just another thing that she can't face up to, and here it is in her face at a baby shower.

This scene left me feeling that the wheezing attack was a very deep panic response, the cause of which Carol is certainly not consciously aware of. Being confronted with the most basic, animal drive to reproduce may have caused a conflict in Carol that she has been resisting.

I'm not convinced of this, it just occurred to me on my most recent viewing of the film and I would be interested to hear what others think.