As luck would have it about 25 years ago I was in Maui driving the coast road toward Hana when we passed (my Japan born wife Junko Ojichi) an obon fesitval taking place next to a graveyard. We stopped, never made to Hana. The festival was fascinating with family picnic style spreads by the graves. I've seen obon here in Los Angeles' Little Tokyo and various other venues but this one in Hawaii was special.
I've also seen the 2008 film DEPARTURES with an out of work musician apprenticing to an undertaker. And of course the classic 1999 After Life where the modern dead go to a bureaucracy to apply for one (?) video tape memory to take with them to eternal rest. I think it was Keiko Kagawa's final film appearance.
Junko's ashes were scattered off the California coast in 1997.
But I still find the ghost swimming in the direction of Japan completely mystifiying, but poetic and touching as you've described.
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