AIDS Written All Over His Face... with a Pirate Grin and Salt to Boot
Beware young ladies. If you see an emaciated, dragon-mouthed youth with an oversized monochrome shirt roaming around the city; don't make eye contact, just stay far, far away from him. He's on the loose and looking for a pu$$ to invade. Ravage them with his mangled HIV wang he will. This boy's on a mission... from hell!
And the Good Lord tried to help you all out. He tossed in a load of teeth and closed the trap shut hoping for a haphazard pirate grin on the kid, and that he got. "No one would smash with a kid with such a mangled face," God said. "The ladies will be safe!" But Satan has his ways of whispering words in a youth's ear giving him the power of a slivered, snakey tongue.
Your second clue is... well... sticky d*ck. Telly-face never really did quite take a bath after his conquering of the freckled-face virgin (swimming pools won’t REALLY clean you off). And roaming around that New York town on a hot summer day (all day) is bound to make even the most delightful virgin tang marinate in a sourdough kinda way after 14 hours.
Poor Darcy. It's not that easy to get the AIDS with straight vaginal sex but we got to assume that pasty-face shot a wad in her cooch which ups the ante for a good ol' HIV infection.
Congratulations Smelly Telly.. you stank mo fo! If a girl's gonna give up her most prized possession in exchange for the gift that keeps on giving you coulda at least washed up!