Re:What did Bryan Brown say when he found out he'd gotten the part

Bryan: Gets on the phone to Brian Dennehy, Dials number. Ringing, ringing, ringing.
Brian picks up: "Hello?
Bryan: "Brian? It's Bryan Brown."
Brian: "Hey Bryan, how you doing?"
Bryan: "Oh my God! You will not believe the part I just got in this movie."
Brian: "What is it?"
Bryan: "Okay, okay, so check this out. I play the part of a masseur."
Brian: "Oookkaaay. So what's so special about that?"
Bryan: "You'll never guess who I get to play opposite."
Brian: "Who?"
Bryan: "Mimi Rogers."
Brian: "Cruise's ex-wife?"
Bryan: "Yeaaah."
Brian: "The one with the really big knockers?"
Bryan: "Yeaaahh, cans like melons."
Brian: "You lucky bastard."
Bryan: "It gets better, guess what the title of the movie is?"
Brian: "What?"
Bryan: "Full Body Massage."
Brian: "Get the f*u*c*k out of here!"
Bryan: "No s*h*i*t."
Brian: "You're not kidding me."
Bryan: "No sir, I am not. I get to give Mimi Rogers a full body naked massage from head to toe."
Brian: "You lucky dog!!"
Bryan: "Here's the best part."
Brian: "What?"
Bryan: "I'm actually going to get paid to do it. Mpphhh, sknkkkkk!!"
Brian: "A lot?"
Bryan: "Does it matter?"
Brian: "Hell no!"
Bryan: "I know, I feel like I should be paying them to put my hands on those bazooms!"
Brian: "How long you going to be in principal photography? Heh, heh, heh!"
Bryan: "I don't know, but I will gladly do those scenes as many times as the director wants."
Brian: "Are you going to be able to hold out?"
Bryan: "What do you mean?"
Brian: "I mean blow a load in your shorts. You'd better rub one out before all your scenes so you're not sporting a pup-tent during shooting."
Bryan: "Yeah, I see what you mean. The full read-through's tomorrow, and just thinking about that gives me a semi." (Snorts)
Brian: (Snickers) "Are they going to block your scenes beforehand? Will there be any storyboards?" (Giggles)
Bryan: "I sure hope so."
Brian: "Man oh man, do I ever envy you. You're going to be able to top off the spank bank with that for a long time."
Bryan: "I'd better go buy a lottery ticket while my luck holds out." (Sniggers)
Brian: "F*u*c*k yeah! Go get that sucker!"
Bryan: "I'll let you know how it goes."
Brian: "You'd better call me back after you get done filming your first nude scene with her. I want to hear all the details!" (Laughs)
Bryan: (Imitating Yakov Smirnoff with Russian accent) "America, what a country!"
Brian: "That's for sure! Have fun you lucky, lucky bastard. Keep a second pair of underwear nearby!"
Bryan: "Talk to you later."
Brian: "Later my horny Australian amigo."
Both hang up.