Those endearing movies sure seem different when....

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Since your post is from way back in July, I'm probably writing something nobody will ever see, but I got so excited when I read this I have to get it out anyway.
I absolutely agree with your experience, but with a twist. I watched this first in '95, and found it entertaining, and having been in a situation involving step children, I identified with it a little, BUT, I watched it again last week, and what an incredibly different impact it had on me. I'm working my way through a two-year addiction to drugs, and let me tell you that much of that part of this story was written by somebody who had been there, either as the addict, or the enabler, or both. I've watched a lot of movies in the past year having to do with alcoholism or addiction (sort of a morbid fascination) and I think this is one of the best, if not the best, portrayal I've seen about what it does to an otherwise "normal" family. I sat in front of the screen almost in a state of shock watching the last few years of my life, and wondering how in the hell I could have forgotten this movie that first time I decided some pills would make everything better.

Well... I think it's not condescending. He only tries to help his wife and it's the only way he knows to help her. I understand her too... she wants to feel useful.

I just watched the film yesterday and it's one of my favourite films.

I was surprised by how much I liked this movie because I usually don't like Meg Ryan and was put off by the subject matter. But I thought it was an extremely sensitive and intelligent portrayal of their relationship (with maybe some cliche moments during the therapy/AA scenes but maybe even that is accurate). Given some of the nasty comments here, I'm even more impressed by the value of this movie.

I dislike neither Micheal (Andy Garcia) nor Alice (Meg Ryan) in this film honestly...
Their relationship had numerous problems, just as any other relationship does, although granted these issues may be more serious than many of you out there are facing. Also both persons equally had a number of character faults just as I know we all do.
It's obvious from the wedding video shown in the beginning of the film that their relationship was amazing at the start...eventually though problems erupted and things became bad between the two. Still though throughout this film no matter what I never doubted that they loved one another...the question was was there relationship going to be able to overcome these obstacles?
Alice: Her drinking did indeed play a large role in their problems overall for obvious reasons, still though in the end I don't hate her. I don't hate her for being an alcoholic. Yes I know she did some very horrible things as a resule of her alcoholism...that's a part of the disease though. I never once doubted that she really was a good person sober or that she loved her children. Her alcoholism was something that just snow-balled into something so huge that it interfered with her entire life. Her recovery was very real in the film, it shows a lot of truth in how difficult it is to overcome this disease. It showed the problems that then resulted during her recovery...things that all the while needed to be dealt with were now being put the spotlight on. In the end when she made her final speech I would definitely characterize her as being strong.
Micheal: He was beyond frustrated for very obvious and understandable reasons...he was of course angry. Who wouldn't be. His consistant need or desire to "fix" things is just a personality trait that isn't always a great one to have...for him he probably had grown up being the one who fixed things for everyone and with Alice and the kids it was the same. He was the one who did it all...Unfortunately like in real life sometimes he wasn't able to understand what it meant for Alice to be an alcoholic...maybe he wasn't prepared for that realization. Who is. Still though he was the one who got her into a rehab right away remember and was going to stick by her no matter what. He just didn't understand what being an alcoholic meant...no one had ever prepared him for that. His character indeed have various faults that also needeed to be dealt with but I never wavered from the fact that he loved Alice and their two children more than anything else in the world. He was a man who cared for his family, a strong man who wanted nothing more than for the ones he loved to most to be happy, healthy, and safe. His world was torn apart for a bit, thus tearing him apart...his was able to save it all in the end though.
The Alice and Micheal relationship for me is what this movie is about...it is about a real relationship that is facing a real challenge that people face in real life though they wish they didn't. This movie showed how raw and intense things can become and how ugly the words said and the things done are sometimes. The fact that Alice and Micheal's relationship is able to go through her alcoholism, her time in rehab, her recovery, their seperation, and yet still able to withstand all of that...that is when you know for sure that they are going to make it. Their relationship won't be perfect, but hey...what relationship is!

Kayla_18


Cold Mountain~ Inman: "I...came...back."

What an overtly feminist view of his character and this film. Michael was a good man, and it seems that no matter what men do, we are wrong. If we're nice, protective, and accommodating of women, we're chauvinistic, condescending jerks. If we don't care and are apathetic, we're insensitive, selfish jerks. Joy.

"Those endearing movies sure seem different when...."

When WHAT?!? Finish your sentence you feckin' moron.