Think Ray could have been adopted?

Whilst I understand that there were some subtleties about the family unit left perhaps a little unclear I don't think they could have been related.

The actions of the mother the next day seems like a classic act of denial designed to create the illusion that nothing has changed and all is well. The fact that she overdoes it is the telltale element however. Their sexual encounters later do not seem to come about in a conventional sense thereafter anyhow. It's also very telling that their sexual activity is undoubtedly linked to their annoyance with each other by being trapped in such a small situation, completely unable to be seperate for any real length of time. Although the initial foreplay scene is much more tender, the rest of the sexual acts in scenes thereafter are realtively angry and even violent. Here we see a much truer nature of the damage done by incestual relationships.

The 'deal' with the father I thought was made relatively clear: The father would have children only if she didn't go to medical school and become a doctor. He saw it as impossible or ill advised for the mother to try and have both a career and children.

As for the two-way attraction I understand your cynicism, naive or not, and I certainly appriciate that line of thinking, but incest is something that happens. As for the father's detatchment, I think it's understandable given the way the character is written: He cheats, he dislikes being at home, everything is financial including his rather expensive son and he never wanted to have children in the first place.

I understand that it doesn't state overtly that Ray was their biological son but I don't really think it makes any sense for him to be adopted. If the father didn't want a son of his own then he certainly wouldn't adopt. And also why would the director deliberately undermine the premise of his own film; a film made to inspire reaction and debate beacuse (in my opinion at least) to be honest it's a surprisingly average film considering it won a Sundance Festival award.

The fact that the writer/director chose not to make it clear that the mother is or isn't related to the son by blood is probably intended.

I am leaning towards that he was either adopted or that she is a stepmom, solely from the conversation he had on the phone with his dad talking about the sex. The father said that he has known his mother for 20yrs. and knows what she is capable of and that she wouldn't do such a thing. To me that sounds like a father speaking to his adopted son or a father speaking to his son in regards to his stepmother.

I think she was his mother but the father was a different person. I think the "deal" the mother mentions is this: the father didn't want kids and the mother wanted to go to med school. She got pregnant with someone else (an affair) and he agreed to raise the kid as his (their) own if she would agree to give up her career and be subservient to her husband. She bought into the agreement and then lived up to it.

So here comes another BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER type comment (I mean yours).

So you think only people who adopted children have sex with their children, sex-abuse or otherwise?

It is the people with unwanted children who usually practice incest, mostly child abuse rather than plain incest (having sex with your children who are 18+).

Adopted parents usually have reasons why they adopted. First of all, they really must want children, and secondly they must go through a huge bureaucracy of screening process in which the adoption agent/organization checks every little detail and background of of the adopting party. This is an extremely difficult process (for the parents wanting to adopt) in which the agent must determine if the parents are suitable and are fit to adopt, their criminal record, income level, how long they have been married, why they want to adopt children, could they have their own, if not what was the problem, if they could and decided not to, why. Given all these difficulties, the social serve checks on regularly and interviews the child after the approval to determine how the parents are treating the child and if he/she is happy/unhappy. This process is excluded if the child is an infant or toddler upon adoption. The adopting parents don't go through all this just so they can practice incest. It was very, very unfair of you to easily assume that Ray was adopted just because of the assumed sex.

For married people who could and have children, it is not difficult (you know the oops, I forgot to take pills and "forget the condom" business). I am not saying this for all, some do really want children and make plans before stopping the birth control procedures. There are also so many unwanted and unloved children in the world who are born unwantedly, born into poverty, born because it was enforced by a particular religion/culture, born because somebody went on and on about how much they wanted grandchildren (this happens in my culture, old lady always want a grandchild no matter how much the parents aren't ready financially). Many children around the world are hated, abused, molested, brainwashed, and so on, everyday. Yes, these are all biological (not adopted) children.

Some practice incest voluntarily. Say if your mother is only 20 years your senior (plus good looking), the now fully developed son with sexual desires can be easily sexually turned on. It could happen if the two parties in question aren't biological parent/child. It could happen to biological parent/child. But please, it is not a plain black and white. Every time somebody says things like, "the mother had sex with her son, he must be adopted," it really hurts people with adopted children.

nevermind the incest. they didn't treat him like a biological son. but unfortunately parents abuse their blood children.

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& the dog says woof woof & the cat says meow.

Nah. I was expecting that kind of easy cop out to come, but grateful that it didn't. I definitely think the writing before they have sex could have used a lot more work to make the whole think more convincing when it happens, but I didn't think it was bad either.

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