in defense of Troy Dyer

recently re-watched RB & i'm writing this because of the overwhelming amount of negative comments regarding Troy and his relationship with Lelaina, which i feel are somewhat misrepresented.

- first of all, the argument that 'she only picked him because he was a good looking bad boy'. i think that's extremely simplistic. they clearly knew each other for a long time & were best friends: despite their obvious attraction to each other, both had resisted sleeping together because they were too afraid of ruining their friendship, which both valued greatly - this was also, in my opinion, the reason why Lelaina initially objected so much to the idea of him living in the same house as her. not to mention how lost and sad Lelaina was after their first fight (after the kiss during the 'coffee, cigs and good conversation' talk) because she was afraid she'd 'lost his best friend forever, who was her touchstone'.

- secondly, how 'he was basically just a fucboi who mistreated her & was never there for her'. i think this is just plain inaccurate. he definitely wasn't perfect, and said some mean, hurtful things to her during fights (and so did she - and who doesn't sometimes say hurtful things they subsequently regret to those they love during fights & fits of jealousy?) & chickened out the morning after (even though he subsequently apologized & made an effort to correct that. twice.), but he was arguably the only one who was always there for her when she was at her lowest. when she lost her job, he didn't let her dwell on it and listed his own numerous failures to minimize what had happened & make her feel better about herself. after the debacle of the tv show presentation, he understood her, reassured her, told her what she was feeling was legitimate & that he believed in her.

- third and lastly, how 'his change is surely short lived & he will inevitably leave her sooner or later'. we don't know for sure what will happen with their relationship, but personally i don't think it would end for that reason. in my opinion, Michael's speech outside the club ironically had a bit more of an impact on Troy than one would assume, especially the last sentence about not really believing that everyone dies all alone - and with this i don't mean to say that Michael's speech was somehow the catalyst to change, but rather that it pointed out the bullsh*t in a lot of Troy's bravado & attitude, and he realized it. the phone call he'd received earlier was presumably about his dying father and, the way that i see it, the key moment in Troy's 'change' wasn't embarking in a committed relationship with Lelaina, but going to see his dying father. that was arguably the hardest, most selfless thing he'd ever done (as his father was the original cause of his abandonment & commitment issues), and in doing so he proved he *could* compromise and act contrarily to his beliefs for someone he loves - the suit he's wearing in the last scene (usually a token for 'selling out') is pretty symbolic.

Michael was for sure a nice guy, but he was clearly utterly wrong for Lelaina. she felt attracted to him, and his stability and loyalty were certainly appealing to her, but ultimately they had very little in common and, most importantly, he never understood her or what drove her. he was passionless when compared to her & Troy.

i also find it interesting how most comments about Troy are passionately negative, with people almost revolted at the idea that *anyone* could pick Troy over Michael. i wonder if that's partly because most people here (men especially) identify themselves with Michael far more than with Troy, and are reacting somewhat personally to the old notion that 'nice guys finish last'.

anyway, thoughts?



I agree with you, I definitely think she made the right choice, if she had to choose between Troy and Michael. Michael was nicer, but he was kind of a pussy tbh and he didn't understand why she was upset about what his company did to her documentary. And the big kicker is that he doesn't fit in with her friends. They're obviously uncomfortable around them, and while the film focuses on Troy's reactions, Vickie clearly doesn't like him that much. And also, in regards to the last point, even if Troy isn't a changed man and they break up, so what? *beep* happens. Just because she picked him, doesn't mean they have to get married and have kids and be together until one of them dies of old age.


I don't think Troy and Lelaina's relationship would have lasted that long. I think he would've cheated on her but she would forgive Troy and remain friends or friends with benfits.


Troy seemed like a Kurt Cobain wannabe. However, you're right about Michael. He was not right for Lelaina at all.


Well said . Great points . I just watched the film again at 37 and hadn't seen it since about 19. I had 2 girl friends around that time who were into this film and would say I reminded them of Troy . I was never really sure if it were an insult or a compliment . After seeing it as I'm older I agree with all your points .