PCU should be sunk to the bottom of the deepest ocean

To Whom It May Concern:

I haven’t written a letter like this before. But then again, I’ve never seen a film like PCU before. After listening to the commentary, it created an even stronger reaction in me, so I just had to write. I suppose the critical mass for me as a viewer was when Hart Bochner noted (and then again later) that he was relieved that the film had finally found “its audience” in the video world; the insinuation being that his film is a good one that didn’t hit on the 1st run because it/he wasn’t given the right opportunity, the right marketing support, the proper studio backing, bla bla. The fact of the matter is that, for anyone other than a 13 year old boy, this film is painful to watch. It didn’t do well theatrically because it sucks. It’s like a train wreck, you keep watching because you’re curious to see what disaster is going to come up next. It’s kitsch, in the worst kind of way: bad acting (poorly directed), bad score (poorly directed), and terrible comedic timing (poorly directed). And so, it’s unbearable to listen to Hart in the commentary make excuses for this and that, all the while thinking smugly that he’s this “groovy director” who “made the actors feel comfortable.” How about make them act! This has got to be Jeremy Piven’s worst performance of his life! I once heard Tom Hanks on David Letterman forsake a film he did early in his career, BACHLOR PARTY. Shame on Tom Hanks for that – BACHLOR PARTY is hilarious. (HE KNOWS YOU’RE ALONE I could understand.) But poor Jeremy Piven – this debacle is going to be at the beginning of his long track record forever! He is fantastic in pretty much everything he’s done. Somehow Hart managed to get him (and the rest of the cast save Cutter and Spade) to overact so badly only a 13 year old could bear it. Everyone else is tuning in for the same reason they tune into the WB on a Saturday afternoon. This is fine, so long as Hart isn’t deluded into thinking he’s done a groundbreaking film that speaks to this generation. (I can almost hear Hart now, “But they made me shoot a PG-13 film.”) Give me a break. No one asked you to turn a script that I imagine is probably pretty funny, and turn it into a predictable, conventional, sloppy, boring, piece of waste-of-time. Little advice for Hart: stick to acting. You have no right wasting so many resources and cluttering up the universe with another clichéd (ANIMAL HOUSE) rip-off. And if you are able to use some connections or commit some crime passing yourself off as a director again, please don’t make it worse by adding a commentary where you flaunt how much you don’t know. It’s too much to bear. Even for a 13 year old.

Sincerely,
An unsatisfied audience member.