MovieChat Forums > Once Were Warriors (1995) Discussion > So why did she stay married to him for s...

So why did she stay married to him for so long?

posted 10 years ago by Innsmouth
6 replies | jump to latest

Very raw movie, interesting, but very grim and depressing. They seemed to attempt to offer some kind of "hope" at the end with the wife telling the a-hole husband she is done and leaving him...18 years late. How in the hell did she not leave him beforehand? What, he was a nice guy and "changed" ? What exactly is the excuse? It's obvious this guy was always a psychotic gutter trash slime. And yet she married him, had 5 kids with him...and no matter how much he treated her and her kids like animals, it took her 18 years to walk away?

There is no justification for that. Both parents were equally responsible for the death of the daughter.

[–] Redux006 10 years ago

I feel the same. They portray her as so good and noble, but anyone who would keep their kids in that environment for 18 years is out of control.

[–] DogtownGirl 10 years ago

Rena Owen (Beth Heke) explains it all for us in the Documentary about the film, 20 years on. She tells us quite simply about exactly WHY Beth put up with Jake and we also hear Lee Tamahori's perspective on it as well.

You can watch it all right here: http://www.maoritelevision.com/tv/shows/once-were-warriors-where-are-t hey-now/S05E001/once-were-warriors-where-are-they-now

** There MUST be more than one way to skin this Cat! **

[–] Mellotron-Scratch 9 years ago

From the film I gathered that she stayed with him out of stubbornness, and wanting to prove her family wrong about him.

Sat and forever am at work here.

[–] n_w_lowe 9 years ago

Sadly this is very common in abusive relationships. There are men and women who stay with someone for years for many reasons despite the abuse and lack of respect.

I believe they informally call it "Battered Wife/Husband" syndrone. Officially it's closer to Stockholm Syndrome where victims become alligned with their abusers.

Very hard to break free from apparently. I think it's a form of mental illness. I had a friend whose wife was half-Maori and she was mentally and physically abusive to the point where the stress gave him health issues. It took him years to leave.

N.

"You are entitled to your opinion but not your own facts"

[–] Ultrashiver 8 years ago

In "What becomes of the Broken Hearted", she is asked that question by her youngest son and she said it was cause she was in love with him.

[–] Soodinum 8 years ago

She loved him.

I grew up in the midst of families largely like this (in NZ too). You seem ignorant of the forces at play in such a relationship. They happen often, and all over the world.

'Then' and 'than' are different words - stop confusing them.