And Now, a Word from Gmork...

Upon watching 5 minutes of this abomination I attempted to stop play and save my childhood memories from being raped. Promptly the Gmork popped up on my screen and the following conversation ensued:

Gmork: If you push "stop" any further, I will rip you to shreds!
Me: Who are you?
Gmork: I am Gmork. And you, whoever you are, will have the honor of watching this trash and therefore, become my final victim.
Me: No! My memories will not die easily. I am a child of the 80's!
Gmork: Ha! Brave child of the 80's, then fight The Nothing.
Me: But I can't! I can't get past the boundaries of the Corporate Film Industry!
(Gmork laughs and I get a little angry)
Me: What's so funny about that?!
Gmork: The Corporate Film Industry has no boundaries. (laughs)
Me: That's not true! You're lying!
Gmork: Foolish boy. Don't you know anything about the Corporate Film Industry? It's the world of human selfishness and greed. Every part, every creature of it, is a piece of the self-indulgence and materialism of mankind. Therefore, it has no boundaries.
Me: But why are good, creative movies dying, then?
Gmork: Because people have begun to lose their discerning eye and forget how to think independently. So the Corporate Film Industry grows stronger.
Me: What is the Corporate Film Industry?
Gmork: It's the shallowness that's left in film. It's like a disease, destroying the movie-going world. And I have been trying to help it.
Me: But why?
Gmork: Because people who watch rubbish are easy to distract; and whoever has the distraction... has the power!
Me: Who are you, really?
Gmork: I am the servant of the CEO power behind the Corporate Film Industry. I was sent to kill the remaining childhood memories that could have stopped money-grab film making and The Nothing. I lost them in the Swamps of Shallowness. Their name... was Millenials.
(the ground shakes and I'm knocked down. I grab a knife-shaped piece of broken remote control and stand up read to fight)
Me: If my childhood memories are about to die, then I'd rather they die fighting! Come for me Gmork! I am a Millenial!
(Gmork snarls and grunts in great anger; leaps forth from the television screen like a rocket made of teeth, claws and fur... all my world went black)

When I awoke the Gmork lay lifeless with the remote shard plunged deep within his heart. I removed The Neverending Story III from my DVD player and broke it into a thousand pieces. I then promptly placed the original Neverending Story DVD into the player and hit play. As the Limahl opening theme song began to play I sighed in relief that my precious childhood memories were to remain intact forever.

Cheers!

"Equal rights for everybody, special treatment for NO ONE!"