MovieChat Forums > Little Women (1994) Discussion > 'One Doesn't Talk of Such Things' Line M...

'One Doesn't Talk of Such Things' Line Makes Me Sad...

posted 13 years ago by AnnHolway360
25 replies | jump to latest

Hi -

When Jo comes home from New York and sees that Meg is expecting twins, she's naturally thrilled.

When Jo asks, "Why didn't you tell me?", Meg just quietly replies, "One doesn't talk of such things."

I realize the character of Meg is prim and demure by nature - early in the film she even (mildly) criticizes her own mother for mentioning corsets to John.

But it makes me sad to think that a married woman in 1860's U.S. would not feel comfortable even writing to her own sister in a private letter, "There will soon be an addition to our family."

Another novel which does an an excellent job recounting the social difficulties faced by pregnant women (even married) is "Gone With the Wind". Melanie is embarrased beyond speech when Rhett wants her to get out of increasingly dangerous Atlanta and asks her, "You are going to have a baby, are you not?"

Scarlett is fiercely proud and rejects many social customs she finds ridiculous, such as the idea that women should stay home whenever financially possible instead of trying to be successful in business. And even she is humiliated to see Ashley when she has to go home unexpectedly for her father's funeral and is visibly pregnant with Frank's (her husband's) child. She's also mortified when she's upset in her buggy and has morning sickness in front of Rhett.

This is the sort of line that highlights social mores that make me glad I am living in today's day and age. Anyone else?

"What person who is nothing like me are you saying that to?" - House

[–] cjb_cello 13 years ago

I agree. Also the letter where Jo says "Meg has gone into her confinement and" because in those days, pregnant women didn't leave their homes too much after they began to show.

I'm also saddened by the scene where Jo is discussing politics with the men in the boarding house and Mr. Mayer concedes her point and says, "You should have been a lawyer, Miss March." and she replies, "I should have been a great many things, Mr. Mayer."

[–] losty815 13 years ago

Mr. Mayer concedes her point and says, "You should have been a lawyer, Miss March." and she replies, "I should have been a great many things, Mr. Mayer."

I agree. This line gets me every time.

Truly, this film was such a perfect adaptation. It's more than just the dialogue, or just the individual scenes. There's a pervasive mood of expression throughout the film which just captures the female experience.

[–] madi-840-42222 13 years ago

I know that makes me sad too, I remember thinking as a kid that all Meg meant by that line was that she didn't want to steal any attention away from Beth by writing "Good news! Im pregnant!" but now I see why... Im also glad that I am growing up now as oppossed to then even despit all the crap we have to live with today...

http://i51.tinypic.com/s3hro5.jpg

[–] cheedo 13 years ago

No. I'm pretty sure that's not what she meant, but even so, who cares? She said it jokingly and they both laughed about it. Marmie talking about corsets with a man wasn't realistic at all either. You really think men enjoy hearing about stuff like that (like tamps too or whatever)? Back then it was considered rude, not much different than today in some aspects.

I'm glad to live in today but boy, do I feel sad that women today scorn classy, strong women like Meg and Marmie and (olde) Amy and praise self-absorbed, belligerent girls like Jo just because they're "rebellious" (ooh! how strong of her!) and bratty, conceited, spoiled girls who lack maturity and class like Scarlett (nothing against her, that's simply how she was). What ever happened to motherliness, gentleness in strength and impulsiveness instead of calm rational intelligence?

And if you aren't replying to me, do not hit the REPLY button KTHXBAI.

[–] lemonsquire 13 years ago

I actually disagree with you. I think a lot of people like JO because she was strong, went after what she wanted and worked hard.

She was not spoiled: she sold her hair just so her mother could go see her father in the hospital. She also worked for her aunt while tutoring Amy at home.

She was also not self-absorbed: she used the money she made in publishing on her family. This is evidenced when she says that the money for her story will go to buy Beth a new coat. She also wrote to Beth frequently while she was away so she would not be lonely.

Jo was a bit silly as a young girl, but all young people are a bit silly.

She becomes this amazing women.

Not every woman is a mother, great strength does not have to be drowned in the subtlety of gentleness.

Both Scarlett and Jo are admired because they knew what they wanted and went after it. Those are amazing things that many women still have difficulty with.

Sidenote: No, I am sure most men do no enjoy hearing about tampons, but neither do women. However, most men are quite calm and mature when they are mentioned. That being said, it is ridiculous to equate talking about corsets to talking about tampons, especially when Mrs. March was merely answering the tutors question in an honest way.

[–] iheartloubnen 11 years ago

"Not every woman is a mother, great strength does not have to be drowned in the subtlety of gentleness."

I know it's a bit late for the reply, however i do like to thank you for the statement... i kept reading it over and over again; it intrigued me. The idea that every person should/ought to be a parent is a borderline idiotic...

However, i would like to argue, that gentleness and kindness are not equated with weakness. I am a big fan of the movie, and i am currently reading the book, (for the first time actually! I was raised as a francophone and rarely got a chance to read English Literature), i have found that the concept that kindness and gentleness not equating with weakness is apparent throughout the book, especially with Jo and Marmee, and i think that maybe L.M. Alcott was adamant on making that point in a time where strong opinionated women were frowned upon.

Fuzzy Wuzzy Was a Woman

[–] ceebeegee 11 years ago

I'm glad to live in today but boy, do I feel sad that women today scorn classy, strong women like Meg and Marmie and (olde) Amy and praise self-absorbed, belligerent girls like Jo just because they're "rebellious" (ooh! how strong of her!) and bratty, conceited, spoiled girls who lack maturity and class like Scarlett (nothing against her, that's simply how she was). What ever happened to motherliness, gentleness in strength and impulsiveness instead of calm rational intelligence?

"Whatever happened...?" What are you talking about? Those qualities still exist and are also praised. Nobody "scorns" Marmie or Meg or Amy. What are you even talking about?

You seem to have a chip on your shoulder about "rebellious" females and a rather limited construct of what it means to be female. Which means you completely missed the point of Little Women--that they are ALL praiseworthy and admirable in their way, that each one of them has something, some unique quality of gift, to contribute to the world. Beth's selflessness, Jo's strength, Amy's appreciation for beauty, Meg's love of family. You really need to go back and see the movie again, your whole comment is creepy.

[–] velcronewsletter 7 years ago

said it so much better than myself

[–] singingstarlet 13 years ago

It just wasn't done at the time. It wasn't socially acceptable for pregnancy to be mentioned. I believe that the word pregnant was even considered taboo. You were "with child" or "expecting" as many others would put it. It was the socially acceptable way for a woman to behave.

[–] schoolqueen12 13 years ago

Mr. Mayer concedes her point and says, "You should have been a lawyer, Miss March." and she replies, "I should have been a great many things, Mr. Mayer."

That line gets me each and every time I hear it! It's so sad and it reminds of how rough it was for women in society at that time to get ahead or to do anything worthwhile. Even when publishing their own works, they had to publish under pen names rather then their real names!

[–] ComtessaLaRue 12 years ago

Exactly. Even in the 1950s, CBS wouldn't allow the writers of "I Love Lucy" to say "pregnant" - they had to use the term "expecting."

[–] taylorje 13 years ago

I agree. This scene isn't in the book. Meg's pregnancy isn't mentioned at all until she delivers. I can't quote it exactly, but it goes something like this: "At midsummer, there came to Meg the deepest and tenderest experience of a woman's life." Then Laurie comes to Meg and John's house and asks why he wasn't told about Meg when he was last home from college. Hannah (the maid) replies "We didn't want no hurrycanes around." Obviously she meant hurricanes.

[–] StarStruckAmFay 13 years ago

Another line:
"Once one of our finest families."

"Why do we get stuck with old maid and spinster, and men get to be bachelores and playboys?"

[–] bittermilk2 12 years ago

Well, I maybe the only one here but I don't feel bad they had to use other, subtle ways to say certain things. I find it terrible that everyone thinks it's obvious we all have to share every little detail of how, when and what way their baby was even conceived! I'd much better keep the info to myself if I would ever be blessed with a child myself.

[–] angelosdaughter 12 years ago

I agree. I don't think we have to put every intimate detail of our existence in public discourse. It would be nice to preserve a bit of mystery between the genders. As it is there isn't even a shred left.

[–] Angela-35 12 years ago

I'm confused. Where did the subject of sharing every intimate detail come from?? I'm pretty modest. Some might even call me prudish, but I am glad that it would be acceptable now to tell my own sister in a private letter that I was having a baby. How in any world does that translate to intimate details out in public discourse? Or anything like the poster before you said?

Sooner or later someone on IMDB will give you the urge to drop kick a puppy.

[–] thbryn 12 years ago

I took it to mean that if you discuss your pregnancy you would have to tacitly --or not-- acknowledge you had sex. Evidently that wasn't acceptable.
I never thought that the actual birth process was something one "doesn't talk" about.

[–] angelosdaughter 12 years ago

These days every detail of life is discussed online and in adverts. I can remember being embarrassed by ads for girdles and bras on TV when I was a teenager. Now you see ads for the most personal of products everywhere. I would not mind a return to the days when some things would only have been discussed by women about womens' concerns face-to-face.
In the period in which "Little Women" is set (the Victorian Age), either euphemisms were used, or such things as childbirth were referred to only with a doctor or in person with ones' mother or sisters.
Maybe the mail was not so secure as now.

[–] velcronewsletter 7 years ago

still happens in many countries where girls are ashamed to attend school because they have their period for example. you really want to go back to being ashamed of such normal things? what silly romanticisation of the past you have

[–] ingde 11 years ago

There is one point I haven't read in this thread and that is the risk it was and even to day is, to have a child.

As far as I can tell, it's not usual to tell people about your pregnancy before the third month due to all the risks and parents wish to, in case of miscarage, grieve in silence and not have to answer a bunch of questions.

Consider then how it was back then, with no technical equipment to check the babys health, medicine and knowledge. Parents would expect to loose some children before adulthood, not to mention (sadly) the shame if the baby had any disabilities.

All in all I find it natural that this was not spoken of, when considering our society today.

[–] monique79-1 10 years ago

She said that line because pregnancy meant they had sex, and sex was not discussed, even with her being a married woman, it was taboo. Pregnancy meant intimacy occurred.

[–] angelosdaughter 9 years ago

I agree; that was the reason I was so upset with my mother when she became pregnant with my baby sister at age 40. I was 15. We did not discuss it, but we knew what pregnancy meant. However, when our baby sister was born, I fell in love.

I could be a morning person if morning happened at noon.

[–] velcronewsletter 7 years ago

you were upset because a married woman had sex? that is ridiculous

[–] ecjones1951 9 years ago

As recently as the early 1950s, (nearly 100 years after Little Women!!) Lucille Ball was not allowed to "show" while carrying Baby Ricky on I Love Lucy. The "P" word was never used; "expecting" or the French "enciente" were substituted. Evidently, an advertiser told Desi that depicting a pregnancy on television was in bad taste, and he deferred to their wishes. The most normal, natural thing in the world is in bad taste.:::rolls eyes:::

[–] aab874 9 years ago

Today, women feel the need to discuss every intimate detail of their lives - sex, pregnancy, birth... Leave some mystery! I will never discuss such a thing with friends and family! And women today play the weak card when pregnant. If you have a pregnancy illness, that's one thing. But stop making us non-pregnant people do the work for you while you laze around! I love Meg's character!