Jokes At the End


The jokes at the end of each episode is my favorite part! What are your favorites?

Mine is,

What do you Call an interrupting cow?
Wha..MOOOOO

What do you call an interrupting sheep?
Wha...Baaahhhhh

Then Alice tries... Well you could do that with almost any animal

What do you call an interrupting rabbit?
what?

Well I don't know what noise a rabbit makes....

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A vicar is golfing with his friend John. John misses a 3 ft. putt and says "Damn it, missed the bugger". John misses a 5 ft. putt and says "Damn it, missed the bugger"

The vicar looks at him and says "John if you don't watch your language, God will strike you dead. John misses another putt and swears. Suddenly a big thunderbolt comes down from the sky and strikes the vicar dead. God says "Damn it, missed the bugger".

Alice then goes on to say that God wouldn't miss because he's God and he certainly wouldn't swear.

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A Nun is in the bath and there is a knock at the door. "Who is it?" asks the Nun.
"It's the blind man," is the reply.
The Nun thinks for a second and then says, "Ok, come on in."
The blind man walks in, looks at the Nun, and says, "Nice tits! Where do you want me to hang the blind?"

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"Ooh, that's a hard one..."

"Okay, you're in."

Never fails to keep my co-workers in stitches.

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Why did the lobster blush?

Because the sea weed!




Happy little clouds,just floating around having a good time.

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[deleted]

Alice's best reaction is to the 'santa went to the dr's' one XD

Santa went to the dr's and he said -
'i've got a bit of an embarrassing problem, i've got a mince pie stuck up my bum'
so the doctors says,
'don't worry I can give you some cream for that'

Also her disgust at the new christmas special one...

'what do accountants do when their constipated?'





'they work it out with a pencil'



Yes I've seen 'House of the Dead' - Best Comedy of all time.

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i love the nun and the blind man one

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3 nuns are killed in a car crash and they are waiting at the gates of heaven. St.Peter appears and says that to enter into heaven they must each answer a question

St.Peter asks the first nun 'what was the name of the first woman created?' and she replies 'Eve' so St.Peter lets her in.

St.Peter asks the next nun 'Where did Eve live?' and she replies 'In the garden of eden' and so St.Peter lets her in.

St.Peters says to the third nun that her question will be more difficult as she is the mother superior, and the nun says fair enough. So St.Peter asks 'What did Eve say when she first saw Adam?'. The nun thinks and says 'Ohh thats a hard one' and St.Peter says 'yep your in'.

Lol made me laugh!! xx

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At the end of one episode Geraldine told a joke to David Horton and he almost fell over laughing. I loved how her face lit up when he understood it.

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I don't recall the exact joke, but I do remember her amazement that someone actually got it lol. I also really like the joke about the horse with the long face. Alice's puzzlement at the whole thing just keeps me laughing every time.

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I don't remember the exact wording but I liked..

Theres 2 nuns in a car driving down a road in Transylvania and a vampire jumps out infront of them
The first nun says to the other: Show him your cross
Then the second nun shouts: Get out the way you toothy git!




I have a question about one of the jokes thats puzzled me for YEARS! It was something like
Theres 2 nuns in a bath and one nun says "Wheres the soap?" and the other nun replies "Yes it is rather"

I've never understood this joke. Now Alice appears to understand it and Geraldine is amazed like "You got it?" and I think Alice says "Yes, one of the nuns is deaf and mis hears what the other said"
Now are the audience not suppose to understand this joke since Alice apparently does? Or am I just really stupid?!


Also love the golf course and blind man jokes that have already been posted

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when the first nun says, "show him your cross," it's understood that the nun is telling the other one to show her cross to the vampire. but after the 2nd nun's quote, we realize that the 2nd nun thought the first nun said, "show him you're ("you're," not "your") cross." in other words, "show him that you're in a bad mood."

hope that helps.

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[deleted]

I have a question about one of the jokes thats puzzled me for YEARS! It was something like
"There's 2 nuns in a bath and one nun says "Wheres the soap?" and the other nun replies "Yes it is rather"

I've never understood this joke.
It takes a while to figure this one out. But it is quite disturbing.

The pun is on the words where's and wears. Oh, and a missing pronoun.

So it is not, "Where's the soap?" but rather "(It) wears the soap." The wear in this sense meaning "to waste or diminish gradually by rubbing, scraping, washing, wearing, etc". Assuming the "it" is either the female reproductive sex orifice or the auto-erotic stimulation of such, you can now imagine the process by which the soap is being worn down, and why the other nun's actual response is "It does, doesn't it?"

They are talking about the deterioration of bars of personal hygiene products as used phallically for vaginal masturbation among the holy sisterhood. Funny stuff.

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..and so wonderfully explained!!!!!

"That's - just - typical..." Basil Fawlty

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I was watching the last episode today and I love the joke at the end about the boy who was born as just a head, and Harry explains it to Alice and she FINALLY gets it.

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hahaha that's my fave too!!!
....
"there's a boy who has no arms and no legs, in fact he's just a head."
" aww :( (Alice's face xD xD)"
"Yeah, but his father loves him. So on his 18th birthday, they go to the pub for his first pint. So he drinks... and WOOSH! Outpop his 2 arms! So everyone is like 'have another sip!!!' So he does and... WOOSH outpop his 2 legs!
So he drinks until he has a full body,then he gets so excited he runs outside... and BAM! He's squashed under a truck. And then the bartender says to the father:'that boy should've quit while he was stil ahead!'"

and then G is nearly suffacating from laughing while alice is dead serious xD xD

"thát.... was the saddest story ever!"
"Alice,it's a joke!"
"Not to his father it isn't, he's just lost his son!"
"there is NO SON!!!"
"well,not anymore no, he's squashed under a truck!"

xD xD even when typing this I'm in stitches xD xD

I've ordered it online, it's a disgrace,but it's not available in Belgium :'(

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