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10 things you'd like to see on last The Fast Show


1. Johnny Nice Painter saying the trigger word for his wife's own mania. You realise why they're still together, that they care for one another. We then meet their chidren and grandchildren who are similarly affected.

2. John Actor wins a Bafta but when Helen Mirren awards it to him she tells him to make her a cup of tea.

3. Colin Hunt's workmates hire a hooker to have sex with him as an April Fool joke. But this transforms him into a normal person and his last act is to switch off The Fast Show as he doesn't find it fnny any more.

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