What's your favourite line? (not a catchphrase)
It's got to be something like:
Ted PARSNIP your TOMATO wife TURNIP is POTATO dead.
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no no no, it's more tricky than that. Do you know any lines from a specific sketch, rather than a common 'catchphrase' that's repeated every episode?
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Bob Fleming: "... and so I gave her a pearl necklace."
Louis Balfour: "Niiiiice."
Monkfish: "Put your knickers on and go make me a cuppa tea."
Kenneth: "My, you do have a large penis, sir."
Jesse: "This season... I will be mostly wearing... Yohgurts!"
Poutremos Poutramo-Poutremos (sp?): "Heteh theh theh theh, theh theh theh theh theh Chris Waddle. Boutros Boutros Ghali."
So many great lines, it's impossible to choose from.
Simon Day was exceptionally great at delivering his lines.
"Have you ever been caught masterbating by a member of your own family? It's no joke I can tell you"
which series and episode has the stuck in a hole with an owl sketch in it i cnt remember
I Believe The Phrase Rhymes With "Clucking Bell"
Series 3, episode... ermm... 5, I think. "In the fog!"
Ant farms: cruel and barbaric, or not that bad really?
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Looked it up... it's episode 4.
Ant farms: cruel and barbaric, or not that bad really?
"Betty Swollocks Sir?"
"Billy don't be a hero!!"
"A lot of people are afraid of mental illness Ted"
All Around My...ARSE...
This season I will be mostly wearing...NIPPLE CLAMPS!
Q: Wotcha think of those Muller Fruit Corner yoghurts then?
A: Load of old boll***s
Louis Balfour in the Christmas special:
"Mmmmmmmmmm, Jingle Bells"
Millenium Hand and Shrimp
"Good day - I am Gideon Soames. I'm standing....oh sorry, no, the culvert on this path...it's very sharp."
"Hello - we're Cockneys. Yes, that's right, Cockneys."
"Yes, born hugger-mugger to the sound of Bow bells."
"Yes! I say - are there any pie and mash shops around here?"
"Someone has been tampering with Hank's memories."
so there i was walking through the jungle with the natives and we stumbled upon a great big CANOO MADE OF MARSIPAN
shareThe Cockneys: "Hello! Yes, we're looking for the garden party. D'you know the way to the garden party?"
The way he said it was hilarious.
And of course, Alf's verbally abusive parrot was great too.
Alf: "Knowing' my luck, it probably won't talk out."
Parrot: "Wanker! Wanker! Twat! Twat! Twat!"
Brilliant Kid (walking): "Aren't holes BRILLIANT! They're fant..." (falls in hole)
That had me laughing for DAYS.
I'm BOTH! I'm a celebrity - in an emergency.
in the dave angel: eco warrior sketch where he sits with the hippies, one puts his arm around him and says 'you tell 'em dave' and he immediately replies 'take your hands off me you freak!' never fails to make me crack up.
What's that? You just called me a bastard didn't you!
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'they were a couple of tasty birds, if a little tough'
'well I've always wanted to explore the pacific rim'
johnny nice painter:
"where are we sleeping tonight mother? in fathers grave?"
hilarious
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Another 'greatest line' is from johnny, but I can't remember the exact line, but it was a very good rhyme, something like:
"your eyes are like lies but mine are PIES....."
I love it when Arthur Atkinson said that, SO FUNNY> And cumeuppence too...
"Frankenstein was creator,not the monster.A common misconception held by all truly stupid people"
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Ralph: Do you like Kipling, Ted?
Ted: I quite like the fruit slice sir...
THATS THE SINGLE!
Occupation 101 - The truth about Israel and Palestine
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0807956/
I've been rediscovering the Fast Show recently, and I currently love the line:
"Check me one time, whitey!"
He says it so casually as well, I love it! :D
It's actually a song sung by Jeremy Qui and Kumkwuit… (the not very subtle parody of Jay Kay and Jamaoqui)
'I don't need no chocolate on the seats of my Ferrari…'
"What are you, some kind of doomsday machine, boy?"
'Indie Club'
Colon are here!
'poisonous monkey!'
i love rowley birkin qc, what a fantastic character.
What's that? You just called me a bastard didn't you!
I know it takes a while but I love the way this ends....
JT Hello, and welcome to Jazz Club. Great. Really great. On the show today,
Jackson Jeffrey Jackson. Surely the most innovative course in modern jazz
trumpet styling. Niiice. Hello, Jackson. And welcome to Jazz Club.
M1 Howloo.
[M1 tries a "homeboy" handshake with JT, who doesn't quite get it]
JT Now - tell us, Jackson - what is so special about your approach to jazz.
M1 You see, what I'm sayin', Louie, in the way that I play, I play like you know
the B-flat treble. An' she blows a major second blow you start out, but
what you might say the standard style, there. You see, what I'm sayin' is,
you take the key of C.
JT Yeah.
M1 You got the partials of note C there, that's your harmonic series. But
that's all you got, man. That's all you got. An' you got the C-E-F. You
got the notes. But that's all you got, see? You can run up, you can run
down, but you can't run sideways. You can't run from the law, little baby.
You see what I'm sayin'? Mm?
[JT nods in agreement, but he doesn't have a clue really]
M1 I'm outside the law. You see, what I'm sayin' is, you got exhilation,
an' you got inhilation. But they're two different things, man.
You screw up, you got mutilation. You see what I'm sayin'?
JT Mmmm. And t-t-to sum it all up, Jackson?
M1 I don't blow. I suck.
Occupation 101 - The truth about Israel and Palestine
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0807956/
From the very first episode, Unlucky Alf:
"See that - down there? They're diggin' a ruddy great 'ole at end o' the road. Knowin' my luck, I'll prob'ly fall down that."
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Mr wells your a twat your a sod olldddddd twaaaaaaaaaaat, the look upon your face like a monkey jerking off.
In the fog, In the fog with an OWL!!.
25225458 Corpral READ, RAMC.
Bond: Ingenious Q, it's a bomb.... but it's also a rucksack.
And he said, I can´t do the accent, "Yeah, man, I can make your beer all nice and cold again, man...".
And Indecisive Dave´s "I DON´T KNOW WHAT I WANT!".
Antonious Gubbás football teamnames too...
Oh, and Rowley´s "Cairo. Oooooooooo!".