The episode when Franklin is Duke's VP candidate for his presidential bid.
Franklin: "I'm not going to lie to the American people. I won't wear this toupee anymore!"
(Franklin rips off a large chunk of his hair)
Jay: "Dad, you don't wear a toupee."
Franklin: "I will from now on!"
Also, the episode with Alice's sister, when they go to Duke's costume ball.
Duke (to Jay, who is obviously dressed to resemble Homer Simpson): "Just what are you supposed to be? A bald, gay man?"
Jay (sarcastically): "Yes, Duke."
(Duke gets the attention of everyone at the party)
Duke: "Attention, everyone. I'd like to announce the winner for best costume. Jay Sherman, as a bald, gay man! So all you other bald, gay men can go home!"
(Cut to three bald, gay men rolling their eyes, mumbling, and leaving)
I forget which one this is.
Duke: "I turned a small chain of chicken & biscuit restaurants into a huge national broadcasting company!"
(An ordinary guy walks up to Duke)
Man: "Uh.. I'd like a number 7... extra crispy."
Duke: "Corn bread or biscuit?"
Man: "Um.... biscuit."
(Duke pulls a biscuit out of his pant pocket)
Alice: "You keep biscuits in your pants?"
Jay: "Yes. Ohh.. you were talking to HIM!!!"
The first episode with Alice.
Jeremy: "So, have you done the dirty dingo?"
Jay: "Oh, it's not like that. Sure, we are together all day, but I never touch her... porcelein.. skin... Her red lips... like rose petals from the emperor's bath water. Bath water, I tell you! BAAAAATH WAATERRRRR!!!!!!"
My favorite movie parody has to be Jurassic Park 2 (years before that movie actually came out!)
(A raptor has Hammond, Malcolm, and the kids cornered. It leaps, but they duck and it flies into a closet. Hammond quickly locks the door with the key in the keyhole)
Malcolm: "You can't lock a raptor in a closet! They're too smart!"
(From inside the closet, the raptor slides a newspaper under the door, bangs up against the door until the key falls out onto the paper, pulls the newspaper back under the door, then unlocks the door. The door flies open with the raptor looking menacing.)
Hammond: "You may have us, but you'll never get off the island!"
(The raptor pulls out a pipe)
Raptor: "Oh, there I beg to differ. For you see, the other raptors and I have constructed a crude suspension bridge to Venezuela. Once there, I'll lie low and assume odd jobs under the name Mr. Pilkington. Or perhaps I've said too much."
(The raptor puffs on his pipe like Sherlock Holmes)
I know someone already said it, but the one line I've used more than any other in my daily life is
Duke: "Like most of America's cultural elite, I worship Pan, the goat god!"
The Critic was a really terrific show that was cancelled before its time, but as an upside, the show never really went down in quality. Every episode made me laugh.
reply
share