a couple of horrible things

Here is a short list of things i hated about nukie (in no particular order)

1. the "space foundation" drove nasa cars and had nasa logos embroidered on their shirts... but they weren't nasa.

2. every time the scene shifted to the space foundation they showed that same *beep* building for a painfully long time.

3. the movie could have effectively ended in 5 minutes. they crash land on earth, and through their telepathic powers tell eachother to fly back to space. done. show's over. but for some reason they forget that they can just turn into light and fly away.

4. despite the fact that they can fly away, they choose to walk across the continent of africa.

5. here's a re-enactment of one of the final scenes:
nukie: i can't go on
tito: remember what you said, don't give up hope
nukie: oh yea well let's just fly there then.

i almost stabbed myself in the face at that point

6. the boss at the space foundation was by the far the worst actor in the history of acting.

7. the movie, though a mere 90 minutes long, felt like a 4 hour epic.

8. 80 minutes into the film, absolutely nothing had happened.

9. instead of going out and filming africa on location, they decided to blatantly steal national geographic stock footage. it's not even the same kind of film so when the shot switches from nukie to the giraffe, it's painfully obvious.

10. be a clown. maybe i will.

11. a computer learned how to have emotion. *beep*

12. i'm glad i'm not epileptic because the telepathy triggers strobe lights

13. the computers don't do anything but *beep* photoshop filters on pictures of nukie's ugly *beep* face

14. snot

15. everyone speaks english, including monkeys, aliens, bushmen, computers

16. after seeing the movie, i don't understand the relevance of any of the characters. the nun, the drunk, the tribe chief, the helicopter pilot, the monkey, the twins, everyone in the space foundation. what the *beep* is going on?

17. speaking of helicopters: when nukie crashed that helicopter, i saw it and it was pretty much totaled. but the american pilot magically hotwired a helicopter by joining two electrical wires that had come undone with a piece of gum. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my *beep* god.

18. my friend took one media class in high school and could have edited this movie better in an hour and a half.

19. why did nukie dance?

one good thing that came out of nukie: the director never made another abomination to mankind again.