MovieChat Forums > I Can Make You Love Me (1993) Discussion > stalking victims, not all are good looki...

stalking victims, not all are good looking women

posted 16 years ago by pallmallguy
6 replies | jump to latest

I am a over 40 year old, over weight and balding man. While I don't think of myself as ugly I am not what most people would think of as good looking. And I have been dealing with a stalker for over three years now.My stalker is in their 20s and most people would say my stalker was good looking. I know most people would say whats the problem, and believe me many have said this to me. The problem is this person is strange and I want nothing to do with them.

My reason for posting this is because it seems a lot of people believe that only good looking women or male movie stars are stalked, which just isn't true.

And believe me the laws that we have now DON'T help at all! I'v been told that my stalker would have to all but kill me before anything would be done about them.

[–] medic249a2 16 years ago

'And believe me the laws that we have now DON'T help at all! I'v been told that my stalker would have to all but kill me before anything would be done about them. '

Unfortunately you're right. Police & the legal system largely do not take stalking seriously. And with certain self-serving lawyers looking to make a quick buck through frivolous lawsuits, the cops are leery about confronting a stalker in case he tries to stop their efforts to protect a person by suing. And with the hodge-podge of stalking laws that exist in the U.S (state laws), attempts to define it vary.

Especially in Canada, the legal system is a joke. Judges in this country are more sympathetic towards criminals and their 'rights', and even people convicted of 1st degree (premeditated) murder are 'incarcerated' in minimum-security institutions they can easily escape from!

[–] Belletrist0 16 years ago

Especially in Canada, the legal system is a joke. Judges in this country are more sympathetic towards criminals and their 'rights', and even people convicted of 1st degree (premeditated) murder are 'incarcerated' in minimum-security institutions they can easily escape from!

I agree. Canada's legal system was made to help the criminals, and not the victims. These laws have basically tied the hands of the police, and in the future, sociologists predict this might blow up in their faces when people will start dispensing their own form of justice.

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Everyone dies, but not everyone gets to live. -- The Ice Queen

[–] Gina_Riley_Admirer 16 years ago

It's true that once a stalker has their sites set on you, they will go to great length to "prove" themselves - mainly their worthiness to be a part of your life it seems. But no one wants to be hounded, even by someone attractive and kind-hearted.

I'm interested to hear more about your stalker and the events of the past few years pallmallguy. Please share if you're comfy doing so.

-- Leet.

~ Gíñä ®ïl€ÿ ¡§ Â GødÐes§! ~

[–] pallmallguy 15 years ago

First sorry it took so long for me to reply to you Gina, if you are still interested here it gos

We worked at the same place and one night a bunch of us from work went out, my stalker was the shy type and really didn't get involved with what was going on when we went out, they just sat there not talking much or anything, so I tried to include them in the conversion trying to get them to join the group. I'm the type of person who doesn't like to see anyone left out. Well from that point on they thought we were bestest friends. When ever I talked about going out or doing anything outside of work at work my stalker wanted to come with, at first I would invite them along to some of the things but it got to the point very fast that this person wanted to go everywhere with me and to hang out all the time. At first I tried to be nice about it, but then I just stopped talking about what I did out side of work and stopped inviteing them along. Then the phone calls started they wanted to know what I was doing all the time, they would stop me at work wanting to know why I never called them or went out with them any more, it got so bad that I just said to them "look we are not a couple, I thought we could be friends but it's clear you want more from me then I'm willing to give you . So It's best we just don't do anything together any more." All of this took place in the space of about 2 months

Well what I told them didn't go over to well and this person would call my home and hang up show up every place I went too. They would sit out side my house all night sometimes. I finally after a month of this went to my employers to file a complaint, well to my surprise my stalker had already file a complaint against me for sexual harassment. Nothing became of their complaint my employers knew it was a false complaint. And my stlaker ended up quiting about 2 weeks later. But they were not done yet, they filed a lawsuit against my employers, which was tossed out of court. And my stalker filed false charges against me with the police for sexual assault. Again nothing became of these charges. I myself was never charged and the police told me right off that my stalker was nuts, my stalker kept changeing their story every time they talked to the police. I filed my own charges against my stalker for stalking me but the police couln't do anything until my stalker harmed me physically. I couldn't even get a restraining order against them. And the district attorney refused to file charges agianst them for fileing a false police report.

Over time my stalker came around less, about every 3 monthes or so they pop up for a week or 2 then go away.Phone calls mostly but every once and awhile they will leave a soda-pop can by my door ( my stalker drank only one kind of soda)so I know its my stalker doing it. I call the police every time something happens they are suppose to be keeping a file on my stalker, but who knows. While I never feared for my life or anything this was still an invasion of my life and could of caused me great harm, luckly my employers and friends know who I am and know that I could never do anything like what my stalker said I did.

I did hear thru some people that my stalker got fired from another job this year for harassing someone else.

Just so anyone reading this will know I never dated or had sex with this person who is stalking me.

[–] gcarras 13 years ago

I was wondering, too. Thanks. (And to Gina for having asked.) That story in the film was actually a 1980s story that was a national story, coming around the time of.."Fatal Attraction", and in the paper, I read it and guess what I should see as headlines: "REAL Fatal Attraction". I'd also seen the movie when it first shown...as I note in my above post, the title's change (as mentioned, "Stalking Laura")m may have come due to being named after a song by a temaing of the Temptations and Supremes, "I'm Gonna Make You Love Me", with the legal issues of the title being appropirated. (Of course with this movie, it may have given that 1968 song a bad name..)

[–] lulupalooza 8 years ago

@pallmallguy

Here we are over 6 years later...

Did he finally, completely stop stalking you?

I sure hope so! So sorry to hear about your terrible experience.

"Don't get chumpatized!" - The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters (2007)