MovieChat Forums > A Home of Our Own (1993) Discussion > Let me see if I get this straight (*SPOI...

Let me see if I get this straight (*SPOILERS*)...


SPOILER WARNING*****************************
So a narrow-minded, completely selfish, total b*tch, stubborn mule of a mother decides that it's in her family's best interest for her to completely ruin every aspect of her children's lives by moving to literally nowhere with literally nothing (coming from a good place with good things) and as the icing on the cake takes her self-caused bitter anger out by senselessly beating her teenage child with a belt (because parents who do that to their children are ignorant cowards who only know brute force as opposed to intelligent, respect-creating punishment, no matter if it's now or back in the '60s). Lovely. Just lovely. If I knew this woman personally and it was in 2010 and not the '60s when this movie is set, I'd congratulate her by giving her the "Worst Mother of the Year" Award if it were in my power followed by reporting her to a protection agency for minors.

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[deleted]

First of all, they were not coming from a good place, with good things. They lived in a tiny apartment in LA. It is very, very expensive to live in the city. They had some possessions, but not anything good or new. The narrator even says when they go to the church for clothes in the new town that they had never known anything else. All of their things were always hand-me-downs or thrift store items. The mother had just lost her job, because in those days there was no protection against sexual harassment, and the woman usually got blamed. Yes, she is angry, how could she not be? She works hard but never gets anywhere, because she's trying to raise SIX kids, alone. You try it, and see how level headed and generous you are. People back then were hit when they grew up, so that's the only form discipline they know how to give. And, if you were paying attention, she nails the belt to the tree when she realized how much it really hurt her son. She was ignorant, because everyone was ignorant in the '60s. There were no child protection laws, no classes or books to suggest alternative, respectful punishments. She did the best that she was able to do with what she had. When she talks about her own childhood, it sounds like she had a very nice life, so it makes sense that she would feel too proud to take help from people. Her mother probably never needed handouts, so she feels like a failure for not being able to do everything on her own. I think you're the narrow-minded one here.

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It's so stimulating being your hat!

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I agree with dragon.. the 60s sucked more for women. Until you have lived in the shoes of another and experience what it must have been for her in the 60's a single mom with 6 children noless then one shoudnt judge.

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It's been awhile since you posted this, but I agree with the others.

First, this was a different time and despite what people choose to bury their heads about, there are MANY parents who still beat their children into submission. It is passed down from generation to generation and common in many households.

Secondly, this woman was not being selfish in wanting a better life for her family. She lost her job and she had nowhere to turn (seemingly, or she would have done it) and needed a fresh start. Granted, it seems a bit irresponsible to do that with no definitive plan, but to sit and wallow in a downward spiral in an error that she felt was sucking the life from her, was pointless (and irresponsible).

Finally, and most importantly, nobody who has ever been inside a group home or facility for displaced children could ever possibly think it's a *better* alternative than living in some of the conditions *you* don't think are right for a particular child. Do you know the percentage of children sexually abused every single day in the system? Do you know the percentage of children who are bullied and beaten even worse than the environment in which they were taken from? Do you know the percentage of children who are left to wither away with NO adult truly caring about their well-being and simply collecting a check waiting for them to age out of the system? I'm not suggesting all foster homes and group homes are dens of destruction and chaos for children, but enough of them are that it's naive to believe calling the authorities on a strict mother is always in a child's best interest. It's easy to stand on the sidelines and say what another parent should and should not do and interfere by calling social services, but it's a system that is not working the way the general public seems to think it does.

No, I do not believe she was the best mother in the world, but I certainly don't agree she was the worst. She was providing for her family. She was teaching them to be responsible. They were learning along the way and she loved them. She wasn't selling them into prostitution. She wasn't parading a bunch of "new daddies" in and out of their lives. She wasn't leaving them to fend for themselves constantly. She wasn't blaming them for being born and their father dying. She wasn't doing many other things others in her situation have done and continue to do even in this day and age. It's time to stop being so judgmental and consider that your lifestyle is not the standard by which all others are measured. No, her life was not ideal, but it was hardly the absolute worst possibility.

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I agree with the OP pretty much. The mom was quite selfish, and stupid at times to boot. I know this was a different time, but still.
First, she has SIX kids. I don't care if its 1960 or 2012. You have to consider that something might happen to one of you, and how are you going to provide for them ALONE? If you can't, don't have six kids! Have 1 or 2!
Plus, she tells the kids that they are only giving things for their house...what??? What kind of stupid idea is that? Kids want a fun Christmas, the best one you can afford of course.
I would have bought each child one gift, and then 'bought' some gifts 'for the house'. Baked a cake or some Christmas cookies. Strung popcorn or lights.

That mom was loving in her heart, but she was clueless at what was in her kids' minds frequently.


"I'd say this cloud is Cumulo Nimbus."
"Didn't he discover America?"
"Penfold, shush."

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What do you mean by, "If you cant provide for 6 kids then dont have 6 kids. Just have 1 or 2."

Are you aware that until the mid 60s the use of birth control, any type of birth control, was against the law in many states? It was illegal for MARRIED couples to use birth control, not to mention single folks.

For heavens sake, read a history book. A history written BEFORE 1995.... before they started white-washing American history.

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It had much to do with the sign of the times. These were the days before the self help talk shows were trendy. She only knew by examples and may have not have had the best ones.
She lost her job and her son was in trouble. She thought she could find a better life for them elsewhere. She did teach them to work hard and appreciate the little things. They worked together as a family unit.

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I thought the film was brave. The main character IS imperfect and grows through the family's experience. It was also the early 60s and it seems stupid to force a modern perspective on the characters and situation. She did take some risks, but perhaps a single mother with six kids had to. She got them a house in the end.

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Maybe if these useless brats nowadays got spanked a bit more when they were younger, we wouldn't be seeing droves of these lazy mutants walking around slack jawed and not being able to communicate without their stupid phones or Ipads. We've created a bunch of monsters in the 21st century!

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