things i have learned from watching this movie - Hard Target (1993) Discussion

[–] Digsys_Dinner 18 years ago

Old mardi gras decorations are packed to the brim with explosives.....just incase somebody decides to break out a firefight.

You can ride a motorcycle like a surfboard at 50mph, jump of it in midair, land on another moving vechicle, do a hefty role of the back, manage to get a shot of and after all that, is able to run flatout up hill while dodgy moving bullets and not even break a sweat

Regular 9mm pistol ammo can be replaced with explosive like ammunition

Van Damme likes to over do it abit with the shooting the badguys, he likes to make sure they are Dead as friedchicken

Your trusty canteen will always save you from a evil henchman

Evil henchman are exceptionally good on piano

You can hire an invincable well toned man for $217 to show you around town

Apparently acting like a bird puts the chills up men with semi-automatic rifles

Meh some of them are cheesy : /

Quentin Tarantino - I'll Go To Japan To Be A Movie Star, I'll Be The Lee Van Cleef Of Japan!

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[–] scottoliver 18 years ago

i learned that when you balance on a motorbike, jump over a car and blow it up its nessesary to shout "yeah!"

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[–] RichardGrayUK 18 years ago

Yes it is necessacary.

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[–] thharlequin 18 years ago

i learned that you can call your client a f*&king buffalo and still expect him to pay you $700 000 +.

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[–] CamelCamelCamel 18 years ago

If you have dolerable goffee to wash down your bitter, unpleasant chili, what you first thought was a shragedee might not be after all. And that's a valuable life lesson for us all.

Proud of what the Republicans have done? If not, vote Democratic this November!

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[–] born-rock64 18 years ago

what the hell did he just say :S?

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[–] thharlequin 18 years ago

yeah like the man said, "what the hell did you just say?". dont drink and type!

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[–] CamelCamelCamel 18 years ago

Perhaps that's a valuable life lesson for just me, then.

Proud of what the Republicans have done? If not, vote Democratic this November!

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[–] spruce_lees 17 years ago

He means the GUmbo, how's the gumbo chance? A tragedy, the coffee was toleble though

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[–] CamelCamelCamel 17 years ago

Ugh, GUMBO! Why was I thinking chili? I am utterly humiliated.

Thank you for voting Democratic.

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[–] 17 years ago

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[–] msgrand 17 years ago

It's appropiate to kick a door open and fire an automatic weapon in a strangers house

When jumpping off a bridge onto a train, make sure your landing onto something soft.

Professionals dont get angry

Mexico is 5 hours from New Orleans

Getting shot in the arm has no effect on a bad guy except the second he's shot

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[–] darkseidx2002 17 years ago

The one thing I've learned from this movie...This is hardly how *beep* is handled here in NOLA!...LMAO!!!!!we are more corrupt!

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[–] TomahawkEV 17 years ago

it's best to try and defuse a grenade as opposed to throwing it back...

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[–] RainCoatandAxe 17 years ago

You're head can remain intact when receiving a shotgun blast at point blank range.

"You...Shoot like a bafoon, next time I'll charge you double!"

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[–] callmesummit 17 years ago

Im with tomahawk!!

why unscrew in 5 secs instead of instantaneous throw-back?????

And goddammit, why hold the fuse 1cm from the explosives???

And why have a head so similar to Billy Zane as Arnold Vosloo has???

And why am I awake right now at 2:45am Aussie time (drunk) when i gotta work in the morning???

My morning self is gonna hate my night self............

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[–] MoviesFilmsCinema 17 years ago

have fun at work

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[–] bodie_11 17 years ago

I learned!!

1) Mullets cant catch fire,

2) Two guys shooting at eachother through glass panes seem to miss eachother fifty times,

3) A handgun can pack more punch than an anti tank placement,

4) I can shoot a guy 20 times balance him on my foot and he wont bleed a single drop of blood onto me,

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[–] Mr_Harold_Shand 17 years ago

* To make a vicious snake go to sleep try tapping it on it's head......But if that fails just try a good old really hard punch and knock it out

* You can Knock a snake out, bite it's tail off and balance a bit of tree branch underneath it, and the snake wont wake up until someone stands on the other end of the branch.........and when it does it will be really p***ed off......but all of this will happen only if someone stands on the branch!!!!

* You can fire a Beretta upside down and the top-slide wont slide back as you're firing it and hit the palm of your hand, ruining your aim

* Someone who can shoot a snake in the head without hardly aiming CAN'T shoot an old fat man on a horse in the middle of a field that just killed one of your men!

* If you've just tried to de-fused a grenade UNSUCCESSFULLY and you know you are about to blown to pieces, the best thing to say in a circumstance like this is "Ooops"!

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[–] capt_rhodes 17 years ago

>gators like to eat crazy old Cajun's guns
>if you're being hunted in New Orleans, no-one will notice people down the street that are ready to shoot you. Especially Sam Raimi's brother.

Join Hard Target Fans! today!
www.hardtargetfans.proboards98.com

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[–] paul-machnicki 17 years ago

Poor people get bored too

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[–] will_ares 17 years ago

You should be more careful when showing your "wuullet"

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[–] Mr_Harold_Shand 16 years ago

I doesn't matter what bar, flyer company, homeless asylum, police station, country farm or any other establishment Chance visits.......There will be someone that will know him there

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[–] Aylmer 16 years ago

* Jeep Cherokee is the terrorist henchman vehicle of choice.

* The best thing to wear while driving a dirtbike at night is a helmet with a dark tinted visor.

* Even when shot many hundreds of times, a man can barely remain alive as long as he doesn't succeed in falling down.

* Hand grenade explosions only blow out window glass, not the wood surrounding them.

* shooting an orange road marker with a .50 cal pistol will cause it to rocket straight up into the air.

* a canteen can save you from being stabbed in the chest with an arrow, even though it will somehow incapacitate you for several minutes.

* Van Damme getting shot in the leg with a .50 cal pistol in mid-air shall cause him absolutely no ill effects.

* the best way to wake up a fat man is to karate chop him in the belly.

* don't ever hurt a foreigner's feelings.

* he can take him from the air!

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[–] 16 years ago

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[–] Drixor 14 years ago

My morning self is gonna hate my night self............

haha what a great line.

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[–] 14 years ago

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[–] Silv1983 16 years ago

- All inanimate objects have explosive potential.

- When your coat catches fire; your hair will get wet.

- You can shoot a guy 20 times: but the real insult is roundhousing a cigar out of his mouth.

- Shooting an un-pressurised can of gasoline will create a huge explosion.

- Old men who live in the Louisiana woodlands will happily let bad guys destroy their life's work (moonshine and shacks).

- Old men who live in the Louisiana woodlands keep 3 horses just incase....

- Flipping is a far better means of getting around than walking or running.

- When there are 20 villans trying you kill you in an enclosed space; only the one you are trying to kill will pay you any attention - the other 19 will keep quiet until its their turn to die.

- Motorcycle henchman are a terrible aim... they won't only miss but they'll hit the floor infront of you.

- When leaping from a bridge onto a freight train car; don't be cautious and attempt to land on your feet - because the cargo will undoubtedly be soft.

- Baddy bosses will look up and shout when annoyed at any opportunity...

- Getting shot at once will not cause the female lead to take cover - she'll just cover her head and act shocked again and again.

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[–] Rhapthorne 16 years ago

...it's a good idea to wear lots of coats at once so if you happen to be bitterly set on fire you can remove them in slow motion and not get too charred...

...doing a solid roundhouse kick with your foot still two inches from your target's face will result in a direct smack to the chops...

...pianists know how to take apart grenades...

...motorbikes can be stood upon, balanced, and used as mobile bombs if the need be...

...mullets are the style of choice for all respectable heroes...

and lastly...

...putting the foot in is just the best way to exert your authority in various situations throughout your working day...

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[–] InstrumentofNature 16 years ago

I learned that if I'm shooting at someone in slow motion, none of there bullets will hit me :-)

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[–] morgan_mourning 16 years ago

If you're about to blow out the candle on your birthday pastry and get interrupted, the best thing to do is to put it, still lit, in a cabinet drawer that has paper in it and close it up nice and tight.

If you're in a rather poor area, it's not a good idea to pull out a HUGE wad of cash and flip through your numerous twenties to find a dollar for change. Especially if you're female and apparently as weak as a butterfly.

If some Cajun softly tells you to close your eyes while in a swamp, it's not because he's going to kiss you, it's because there's a huge snake about ready to attack you, so quit puckering your lips.

Nat is short for Natasha, not Gnat, as in the bug.

"Zombies, man. They creep me out."

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[–] dangkoen 16 years ago

- Jean Claude Van Damme has an immortal shield around him from time to time that seems to protect him from a rain of bullets.

- Van Cleef doesn't get angry because he's a professional.

- Van Damme seems to get along with birds.

- Even in an intense shootout you have the time to perform gymnastics.

- When a guy attacks you with a melee weapon, just kick the *beep* out of him.

- If you piss Yancy Butler off, she'll shoot you in the nuts.

- Wilford Brimley is good with a bow.

- Some humans are capable of taking multiple gunshots before finally dying.

- Lance Henriksen is a badass.

- VAN DAMME IS A HARD TARGET!

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[–] So_In_Love 16 years ago

* Lance Henriksen's henchmen are fvcking buffalo!

* Bad guys driving cars with guns will continuously miss shooting you, and in knowing that they can't shoot you, they won't try to just run you over with the car!

* Lance Henriksen plays a mad Beethoven!

* Police detectives will put a small birthday cake with a LIT candle in the drawer with stacks of important paper still inside

* Lance Henriksen has one helluva badass weapon!

* Henriksen's henchmen are also skilled helicopter pilots

* Shooting a guy through a door will somehow splatter blood on the mirror behind and to the right of the door

* Thugs ARMED WITH PIPES attack one by one instead of just at the same time against an unarmed man who knows martial arts

* You will be unconscious from having a flask save you from a stab wound

* Jean-Claude Van Damme looked SO good in this movie. Mullet and all!

Always an active duty Jr. American Gladiator!

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[–] iwao 16 years ago

you better know how to highkick people, it may be useful even if you just blasted them with 20 shots at point blank range

van damme is REALLY a hard target

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[–] Ricky-V-Valentine 15 years ago

It's best to shoot every bad guy at least 20 times and then roundhouse them just to be sure they are dead

John Woo likes slow motion, bullets and roundhouses a little bit too much

This movie went through a hell of a lot of trenchcoats

If you number one hobbie is hunting people and running a business from this activity on the streets of New Orleans, then discretion is not that important

This movie is basically 'Flashdance' but set in New Orleans with guns, bad guys, trenchcoats, outrageous haircuts, and (of course) roundhouses

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[–] 15 years ago

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[–] Evolution-X 15 years ago

Someone can shoot someone in the head with a high powered shotgun but won't blow the person's head off.

On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

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[–] parkergolding 15 years ago

We all learned that Randal doesn't make it to Biloxi.

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[–] vocklabruck 15 years ago

- Bad guys who are looking for something in a dark big shed see better with a motorbike helmet on and through a black tinted visor.

- Army tags come in pairs, but only vets know this, the police don't.

- Never cross the security tape police put in a crime scene or you will receive a really hard beating.

- You can hunt people in Eastern Europe, no problem.

- Don't you ever take a job to hand out pamphlets offering sex. If you do, you will be killed soon.

- French old uncles speak to you in English even though you know French.

- Black detectives are hard working people.

- Some skilled bad guys can track you pretty well just looking at your footprints.

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[–] 15 years ago

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[–] jmsfan 15 years ago

*Chance sometimes alternates the way he likes to kill: Sometimes he kicks the bad guy, then shoots them, other times he shoots the bad guy, then kicks them.
*Everything in Louisiana, including trees, produce pretty firework-like sparks not matter what you shoot them with.
*Chance can grip a flaming board without being burnt.
*John Woo's doves like to augment Jean-Claude Van Damme's big kicking scene by flying up right behind him.
*Chance's uncle can shoot an arrow into a moonshine still and cause it to blow up and set bad guys on fire. :)

If you love Jesus Christ and are 100% proud of it copy this and make your signature!

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[–] 15 years ago

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[–] pgrlx 14 years ago

Great thread...!

It probably has been said but I am amazed how cottages explode when shot with rifles!!

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