I especially liked the bit where Carol wandered into the kitchen to have a quiet word with Vera about dinner.
Carol - Why don't you do me a baked potato, steam me a few carrots and grill me a piece of chicken without the skin?
Vera - Why don't you go down to the shops, buy whatever you want and cook it yourself?
What a great put-down.
The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Perce?
Not a terrifically funny line, but a good one that I use from time to time:
"I think adults are just children who owe money."
Yep, Andrew, that's me! A goofy kid who owes money! :)
Just to add another I like, from Carol: "Thank you very much for dinner, Peter. I enjoyed watching it."
I also love the bit where Carol's getting ready for dinner and she squirts Andrew in the eye with perfume.
The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Perce?
"Fill me with your little babies!"
Has to be the funniest moment of the film.
"He said he wasn't in the vagina busines." runs a close second.
I know I won't write it word-for-word, but my favorite is when Carol and Andrew are fighting and she states that she's up there in this "freezing cold house with the cast of Masterpiece Theater".
shareI think 'Tish tosh nosense' is a pretty good sentiment.
And of course, Greta Garbo's alsation...
[deleted]
I also liked the bit where Peter told Maggie that if he was sleeping with anyone, she'd be be on his wish list with Michelle Pfeiffer and River Phoenix.
The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Perce?
"Have you ever fallen in love? No but I've stepped in it once or twice..."
Almost good enough for Morecambe and Wise
Carol: "I'm stuck hear with the bunch from Masterpiece Theater"
share"Just open the *beep* presents!"
shareThis one always makes me chuckle!!
Andrew: And what's all this then?
Peter: It's called a pot-belly, Andrew. We have those in England, along with culture.
You've forgotten my favorites!
Carol: You're a very pretty girl.
Maggie: No, I'm not.
Carol: Yes, you are, but you make Mother Teresa look like a hooker.
Peter, refusing Maggie's advances: No, no, by all things godly, no!
Peter, on hearing Sarah caught Paul and Maggie in the act:
Peter: With Maggie on top?
Sarah: Like she was in a rodeo!
Stamp out silly threads! How many "so-and-so looks just like so-and-so" discussions do we need?
My favorite is at the beginning of the movie when in response to Sarah saying,"..it could have been worse," Andrew replies,"Oh yes Sarah, it could have been worse. They could have attached electrodes to our genitals!" I absolutely love this line.
sharePeter: How long have you been married now?
Andrew: Three years.
Peter: That's a long time for Hollywood, isn't it? Don't you get some sort of plaque?
Andrew: Yes, if we keep it up for five years I get free hair transplants and Carol gets a new set of breasts.
Peter: What, so she'll have four?
Andrew: Yes, but her agent gets one... You fell for that - I didn't think you would!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm writing all this down in my memoirs so if I grow up twisted & warped, the world will know why.
But you didn't finish it. Carol comes back with:
Did you never see "Upstairs, Downstairs"?
Andrew: Any news on the boyfriend front?
Maggie: I was kind of seeing someone: an author.
Andrew: And what happened?
Maggie: He committed suicide.
Andrew: Oh I'm so sorry.
Maggie: It's alright. I didn't really like him very much. I liked him even less after he committed suicide.
Andrew: How did he do it?
Maggie: He threw himself off a building. He didn't even do that properly. It was only a 3 story building. He would have survived only a car ran him over.
Andrew: What sort of books did he write?
Maggie: Self-help books...
Right after seeing this bit I actually wanted to write it down to quote it on this board; so brilliant.
share