They should make OJ an offer

"No Place To Hide" was shot in 1991 and went straight to video two years later, which should be a sign. Drew Barrymore is utterly squandered as a naive, wimpy brat; Kris Kristofferson is totally lacking in charisma (his sudden change from surly cynic to nice guy is JUST NOT convincing); and the whole cops-form-a-secret-vigilante-society thing has been done to death. (Remember "The Star Chamber"? It's a wonder that film's producers didn't sue for copyright infringement.) It doesn't help that Martin Landau's thugs are barely a match for one man in a wheelchair, never mind a lone Kris...who gets the drop on an entire room full of armed bad guys WHILE SURROUNDED, and then walks out with hardly a scratch. (He also survives falling from a cliff, unlike the assassin he was grappling with, who's twice his size.)

The movie is best described as a mix of "The Earthling," "The Defiant Ones" and "Someone To Watch Over Me." It simply does not work. If you must tune in, decide for yourself what's most sickening about this one: the action, the handling, the characterizations, the dialogue, the ending, or the abundant violence. Let it suffice to say that Drew Barrymore would have tossed this script on the fire (as she ultimately does with her voice-over-narration-diary, for some reason) had it been mailed to her AFTER "Charlie's Angels."

Oh, yes - I almost forgot. It seems to me like the powers-that-be should offer OJ Simpson a deal: Since the President has yet to be kidnapped and held hostage in a maximum-security island-fortress (RE "Escape From New York,"), what if we gave OJ a full pardon for every criminal act he's committed in the USA...on the condition that he reunite with writer/director Richard Danus? Let them make another movie together, perhaps a sequel to "NPTH," this time financed by OJ himself out of his own pocket. Doesn't a punishment like that sound every bit as appropriate as being sued for $30 million, or serving life in prison?

Those of you who've seen the movie and feel the way I do about it, what's your call on this proposal?