I'd say it was one of 3 moments....
1. Where Vinny punches JT and takes the money he's owed
2. When Vinny can't get to sleep cos of all the stuff that's happening outside (such as the owl and him going "Wtf was that?!?")
3. When the judge says to Vinny "What did i tell you about the strictdress code we have here?" (or something like that) and he replies with "what, you were f***ing serious?", then it cuts to him going back to jail... XD
by far, the funniest part is when Vinny replies to Lisa's "biological clock" speech at the cabin. I love that part so much I know every word of it! In fact I have seen this film so much I could quote any line!
"I don't need this. I swear to God I do not need this right now, OK? I got a judge that's just aching to t'row me in jail. An IDIOT who wants to fight me for two hundred dollars.. Slaughtered pigs.. Giant loud whistles.. I ain't slept in five days. I got no money, a dress-code problem, aaand a little murder case which, in the balance holds the lives of two innocent kids. Not to mention, your *stamps 3 times* biological clock.. My career! Your life! Our marriage! And let me see.. what else can we pile on?? Is there any more *beep* we can pile on, to the top of the outcome of this case?? Is it possible??
And I love the catsuit Marisa Tomei is wearing in that scene! Personally i wouldn't wear the thing myself, but it looks fantastic on her! :O)
Oh yeah... forgot about that Biological Clock bit... XD
sharethe menu in the diner that just says
BREAKFAST
LUNCH
SUPPER
'two yutes......sorry, yooooouutthhhhss.
'rear-ended?.......'
'left alone, in the dark, seeking out your lost soul.....'
do the laws of physics cease to apply on your stove?
what are you a (bleep) world traveller?
i could use a good ass kicking
which could,never, be mistaken for a buick skylark
well there's a(bleeping) surprise
i think i get the picture
don't be shy, shout 'em right out when you know
...and hundreds more!
I wanna see you in a suit. Made of Clawwwwwwwwwwwwwwth. (unsure how to spell it--went phonetic)
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I thought it was really funny when the lawyer were making the opening statements. Vinny said the prosecution's argument was BS and he sat down. Then the public defender gets up and stutters through about 2 sentences before he gives up.
shareOne funny part is when Vinny comes to the prison for the first time and Stan thinks that he's going to rape him because he doesn't know who he is. There's some pretty hilarious dialogue there. There are lots of hilarious parts though.
shareHey, man, I don't wanna do this neither, so let's just make this an in and out procedure, ok?"
"Hey, you can send me away if yo uwant to, but I'm here to help, I man after all, it's your ass!"
Wonderful play on words , there :) That's one of my favourite scenes, hehe.
"Did you buy your grits from the same guy who sold jack his bean stalk beans"
"you did it! the case cracker! me in the shower!"
"beans make you fart!
We have a convertable!"
"I shot the clerk"
"my biological clock!"
lisa's whole speil with the hunting thing LOL
"do you give a *beep* what kinda pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing?!?!?"
During the court hearing:
Vinny: "Miss Vito, uh, you're supposed to be some kinda expert in automobiles. Is that correct?"
Lisa: (looks away)
Vinny: "Is that correct??"
Lisa: (shows Vinny her palm while still avoiding his glance)
Judge to Lisa: "Will you please answer the counsel's question?"
Lisa: "No. I hate him."
=====================================================
Vinny: "Uh Mr. Wilbur, how'd you like Miss Vito's testimony?"
George Wilbur (the federal car expert): (nodding) "Very impressive."
Vinny: "She's cute too, huh?"
George Wilbur: "Yes. Very."
=====================================================
Vinny: "So Mr. Crane. You could positively identify the defendants for a moment of two seconds looking through (begins to flash down the pictures):
- this dirty window,
- this crud-covered screen,
- these trees with aaall these leaves on them,
- and I don't know how many bushes?"
Mr. Crane: (examines the picture of the bushes) "Looks lak faaaf."
Vinny: "Ah-ah. Don't forget this one and this one (pointing at two other bushes on the picture).
Mr. Crane: "Seven bushas."
Vinny: "Seven bushes. So, what do you think? It is possible you just saw two guys in a green convertible, and not necessarily these two particular guys?"
Mr. Crane: "I suppose."
Vinny: "I'm finished with this guy," (cooly walks away from the witness stand)
=====================================================
Vinny: "Your Honour, I respectfully request a full day's continuance to go all over this sssshhhh...stuff."
=====================================================
Judge: "You're a dead man."
Vinny: "I'm a dead man?"
Judge: "That's raaght. I just faxed a clerk of New York and asked him what he knew about Jerry Gallo. And you wanna know what he replaad?"
Vinny: "Did you say 'Jerry Gallo'?"
Judge: "Yes I diiid."
Vinny: "Gallo with a 'G'?"
Judge: "That's raaght."
Vinny: "Jerry Gallo's dead!"
Judge: "I'm aware of that!"
Vinny: "Oh I'm not Jerry Gallo, I'm Jerry Callo! C-A-L-L-O!"
=====================================================
Officer: "At what point did you shoot the clerk?"
Bill: "I shot the clerk?"
Officer: "Yes. When did you shoot him?"
Bill: "I shot the clerk?"
................ten years later............
Bill: "WHOOA! WAIT A MINUTE!"
_______
BANZAI!
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the bit when the man thinks vinny is going to bum them in jail!
shareMust agrrrrrrr-e I was watching in complete amazement at the "biological suite" scene. Impeccable timing; tantrum so **** real. It just became phisical;
the laughters I mean; uncontrollable; the scene in that surreal environment (for the two characters) it's just beyond repair;I almost got a Fuc**g ernia out of it.
Second funniest bit the youdddddds scene.
what about these pants?
*silence*
HEY!
imagine your a little do, and your prancing through the forest, you see a brooke, and you place you little doe lips to the cool clear water and BAM your brains get blown out, there little bloody pieces, now would you really give a *beep* what kind of pants the son of a bitch that shot you was wearing.
think about it, you win all your cases with someone elses help, and then after you win you thank them....OMG what a *beep* nightmare
*screech owl*
what the *beep* is that
katiebluebell, I cam the closest I have ever come to proposing to a girl for marriage when I saw your post for Vinny's biological clock monologue. That scene has to be one of my top 5 of any comedy, maybe of any movie, and you nailed it. I can still see Joe Pesci acting this scene out every time I think of it.
shareHow many "My Cousin Vinny" fans are out there?
My brother and I (both over 50) laugh at this movie all the time and refer to it frequently.
Wonder what would happen if they showed it again in theaters ala "Rocky Horror".
Almost 50 too and when the hubby kids and I go away in our RV we watch it, it's a ritual and we all quote bits and pieces of it line by line. This is by far one of the best fliks there are I'm convinced. One of my favorite parts is when his girlfriend is called to testify and amazes everyone by her mechanic knowledge. Happy New Year.
shareI just think the public defender's thing, talking to the jury is great. There's a point when he lets out a groan, like he's completely giving up. That man Austin, I believe, definitely rocks.
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Vinny: How many fingers am I holding up?
Judge: Let the court records show counsel is holding up two fingers.
Vinny: Your honor, please!
That, along with the play on words in the jail scene, is my favorite part. My friends and I laugh uncontrollably with that one.
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Vinny: How many fingers am I holding up?
Judge: Let the court records show counsel is holding up two fingers.
Vinny: Your honor, please!
"Now, Mrs. Riley....and ONLY Mrs. Riley..."
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I'm OVER fifty and from Alabama to boot. I love this movie!!!!!!!
shareWonder what would happen if they showed it again in theaters ala "Rocky Horror".
Oh. My. God. You're on to something big right there. :)
People could come dressed up as Mona Lisa Vito, or in Vinny's used-clothing-store burgundy tux with tails. Or his leather jacket (not made out of "some kind of cloth"). Or the mud-covered sweats.
Train whistles, owl noises, steam whistles during all the night-waking scenes.
Grits. Oh yes, grits. ("Breakfast?" "Ya think?")
Simultaneous hollers of "TWO YOUTS" from the audience!
"The fact that I have grown bored by your insanity is proof of nothing."
Damn skippy, I'm onto something!!
shareMona Lisa Vito (Marissa Tomei)
Imagine you're a deer. Prancing around in the woods and you put your little deer lips to the water to get a drink when all of a sudden... BLAM! You get shot in the *beep* head! Your brains are scattered all along side ya! Now ask yourself, do you really think you would take the time to notice what kind of pants the *beep* son of a bitch who shot you was wearing!
Imagine you're a deer. Prancing around in the woods and you put your little deer lips to the water to get a drink when all of a sudden... BLAM! You get shot in the *beep* head! Your brains are scattered all along side ya! Now ask yourself, do you really think you would take the time to notice what kind of pants the *beep* son of a bitch who shot you was wearing!
"...the little doe-eyed deer..."
One scene that gets me is when they are at the cabin. The owl starts hooting and Vinny loads the revolver and goes outside in his leather jacket and starts blasting away. When he goes back inside the owl starts hooting again. Extremely funny.
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I gotta say the public defender's opening statements. To me, that took the comedy over the top and showed that not only are the Pesci and Tomei characters funny, but so is the entire movie. It shifted the comedic focus from the two main characters making it very unexpected, which helps a lot given how riduculous that scene is.
share"The two yutes"
"What was that word?"
"What?"
"Did you just say 'yutes'?"
"Yeah, yutes"
Another top scene that nobody's mentioned - after Vinnie's suit gets covered with mud and he enters the courtroom (late) wearing that awful burgundy tuxedo type monstrosity, and then attempts to convince the judge that he's dressed like this in an attempt to please him. "Mr Gambini, are you on drugs?", "No, I dont use drugs"
shareIt probably is not the funniest bit in the film but it is memorable because it produces one of the funniest, if not THE single funniest line in probably all
of movie and film-dom, delivered by probably the best character ever portrayed in any movie; yep, you got it: Mona Lisa Vito.
The scene is where Vinny arrives back at the hotel with the box of evidenciary
material that, he is proud to say to Mona Lisa, he "coaxed" from the DA after the two "bonded" during their hunting session. Ms. Vito, after just a short "quick" read of Vinnie's borrowed book of Alabama court rules, points out
to a dumbstruck Vinny that, by law, he was entitled to all of the evidence, etc. etc., dis-neccessitating Vinny's "bonding", etc. etc. with the DA.
The line:
"IT'S CALLED DISCLOSHA, YA DICKHEAD!!"
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I love the scene with the broken tap. The both of them are just so opposed to backing down it's so funny...
"Dead on balls?"
"It's an industry term."
"Well then, I guess the *beep* thing is broken."
Aaand the first court scene, where Vinny is supposed to make the arraignment (sp?) and has no idea what he's doing. I was literally on the floor laughing when I saw that scene!
"i'm a fast cook i guess!"
"sevenbushes"
"i'm getting better" (public defender)
Vinny: Is that a drip I hear?
Mona Lisa: Yeah.
Vinny: Weren't you the last one to use the bathroom?
Mona Lisa: So?
Vinny: Well, did you use the faucet?
Mona Lisa Yeah!
Vinny: Why didn't you turn it off?
Mona Lisa: I did turn it off.
Vinny: Well, if you turned it off, why am I listening to it?
Mona Lisa: Did it ever occur to you that it could be turned off and drip at the same time?
Vinny: No, because if you turned it off, it wouldn't drip.
Mona Lisa: Maybe its broken!
Vinny: Is that what you're saying? It's broken?
Mona Lisa: Yeah, that's it, it's broken.
Vinny: You sure?
Mona Lisa: I'm positive.
Vinny: Maybe you didn't twist it hard enough.
Mona Lisa: I twisted it just right.
Vinny: How can you be so sure?
Mona Lisa: If you will look in the manual, you will see that this particular model faucet requires a range of 10-16 foot pounds of torque. I routinely twist the maximum allowable torquage.
Vinny: How can you be sure you used 16 foot pounds of torque?
Mona Lisa: Because I used a Craftsman model 1019 Laboratory edition, signature series torque wrench. The kind used by Cal Tech High Energy physicists, and NASA engineers.
Vinny: In that case, how can you be sure THAT'S accurate?
Mona Lisa: Because a split second before the torque wrench was applied to the faucet handle, it had been calibrated by top members of the state and federal department of weights and measures, to be dead on balls accurate. Here's the certificate of validation!
Vinny: I guess the *beep* thing is broken!
Just watched it on Comedy Central for the first time in years...laughed the entire movie...great film
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The best is his replies to the judge:
"What else is new?"
and right after:
"Like there's a *beep* surprise"
also when he goes into the cell with his cousin and he talks to Stan like he's gonna rape him
So many good lines you all quoted. All I can add are:
"Were these magic grits?"
"Do you prefer your grits regular or al dente?"
Posattraction (sp?)
My favorite was "Oh yeah, you blend."
And when he tells Lisa that he's told the judge his name was Gallo (in an attempt to make the judge mistake him for a prominent trial lawayer of the same name, she says "He was just in the papers recently ... he's dead."
Favorite part is about the suit:
..but they've got the flu!
Ya hear dat?!?!? DA WHOLE STORE GOT DA FLU!
Are you on drugs boy?
No sir, I don't do drugs.
Well I don't like your attitude.
There's a *beep* surprise.
What? What'd you say?
What? What'd I say?
and...
OH MY GOD! WHAT A *beep* NIGHTMEAHHH!
And I lose it eveytime they go in the pool hall to get the money back and that guy at the bar eats a whole leg of chicken at once right off the bone. haha
Some more:
The young black juror in the back row during the stuttering lawyer's scene is hilarious - the lawyer starts spitting, and the juror jumps - awesome.
ALL RISE AS DA JUDGE LEAVES!
Breakfast? Ya tink?
How's ya Chinese food?
They READING glaisses.
...this HIGHANOUS crime...
Were these magic grits? Did you buy them from the same guy that Jack bought his beanstalk beans?!
I TINK I get da point!
NO....I don't think you do! YOU ARE NOW IN COnTEMPT A COURT. Would you like to go for...two counts of contempt?
THANK YOU MISS VITO! You have been a lovely, lovely witness!
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"Now Mrs. Riley... and ONLY Mrs. Riley... how many fingers..."
"Would you like me to explain?"
"I would LOVE ta hear this!" (sits on prosecution's table:)
Judge: don't talk to me sitting in that chair
Vinny: (points at ploice guy) he told me to sit here
(then he gets up)
Judge: what are you wearing?
Vinny: huh?
Judge: What are you wearing?
Vinny: I'm wearing...uh...clothes...i don't get the question
I don't know why but its so funny...and when he slips in the mud when he's closing the car door lmao...
Also the public defender...he's so funny! with his studder!
Omg! i love this movie...it's one of my favourites!
yo, bunnywithabrain - that part in the pool hall gets me everytime. that guy literally sucks all the meat off that chicken bone in one swipe. when i read your post about it, i almost pissed my pants.
these people have sex with their sisters... well some of them do!
what are those thousands of things on those trees? leaves! that's right, go ahead and shout em out if ya know em!
IIIdentical!
i use the hewlit packard 1057a gasgamatagraph with dual flame anylization.
After reading these comments I just gotta go drag out my
dvd of this hysterically funny movie & watch it again!!
I LOVE Pesci & Tomei & Herman Munster the judge.
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