Memorable quotes from this movie...

Jacob: High technology you gotta love it.

Lisa: Now I want you to wait right there 'til I give you the signal.
Andy: Lisa, you been giving me nothing but signals, I want you now!

Lisa: Mmmm, I like that, will you spank me too? That'd be real bad.

Jacob: Ah, my bright and cheerful son.

Jacob: Come on! It's an antique! The person who sold me it to me told me
it crossed over the Atlantic on a liner two hundred years ago. Maybe
the Mayflower.
Andrea: Oh Jake, he probably sold you Hitler's pencil box too.

Jacob: Don't lie to me you bastard fornicator!

Jacob: What the hell was that all about?!
Andrea: It's about time, that's what!

Jacob: My life is a mess Andrea, and you ruined it!


Don't forget:

Leonard and Rusty meet for the first time.

Leonard: Call me Lenny.
Rusty: Nice shoes, Lenny.


Oh yeah, I remember that scene. Leonard was hilarious.


Here are some others:

Rusty: Teenage lust, that's really disgusting.

Officer #2: Let's have it kid.
Rusty: (Burps)
Andrea: Rusty, for god's sake.

Andrea: What the hell do you mean 'What's up?'. This house almost burned down.
Rusty: What can I say, I've been hear all night.
Andrea: All night?
Rusty: Well, I took a piss around 7:45. Sorry I didn't call you.


Lisa: You can have my bed.
Andrea: That's pretty thoughtful Lisa.
Lisa: Yeah, I thought you're old, we don't want your artheritis acting up.

Andrea: So, how's Anthony?
Lisa: Andy. Oh he's fine I guess. He's got the most beautiful smile and...
Andrea: And what? What?
Lisa: And the cutest butt!

Andrea: Seconds walk, minutes run, years fly, decades done?

Leonard: You got a paramaniacal Nazi down the hall, you got a toxic lunatic in the master bedroom, the only person that renders normal is Lisa and that's because I haven't met her yet. I wonder what secrets she's got. You know, Barbie doll dissection, pagan rituals.

Leonard: You dumped him and now you try to rationalize being back together with him not as a lover but as a mother!
Andrea: God, that's not fair! Doctor!
Leonard: Well you tell me I'm wrong. You tell me I'm wrong!
Andrea: You're wrong!


Andy: You won't regret this. I swear.
Lisa: You might. &


Rusty: "Evil rules. It has the tools."


Honestly, my favorite lines were when Rusty would just say “whatever”.