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Assembly Cut of Alien 3 is better than Aliens and Alien: ResERECTION

posted 7 years ago by TheSmashingTesticles
1 reply | jump to latest

A bunch of you butthurt fanboy losers are probably crying right now because of the title of this post but hear me out.

Why Assembly Cut of Alien 3 is better than Aliens:

The first Alien film made it clear Xenomorphs were supposed to be very strong, scary creatures. Nothing like people had seen before. But what did James Cameron's dumb ass do? Retconned it by making Xenomorphs into stupid bugs that got killed in every 5 fvcking seconds. Nice one. Now everyone thinks Xenomorphs are stupid, weak bugs that get killed easily and idiots think Predators can kick Xenomorphs' asses when realistically Xenomorphs are supposed to be way stronger than Predators.

There was a scene in Aliens where Vasquez shoved her foot on a Xenomorph's face and killed it with a pistol... a fvcking PISTOL! WTF! At the end, Ripley beat the Queen Alien's ass by using a damn forklift... WTF! Xenomorph Warriors are strong enough to tear through thick steel but a Queen Xenomorph (which is about twice the size of a Xenomorph Warrior) got its ass kicked by a forklift? So retarded.

Not to mention, that damn kid Newt was annoying as fvck. All she ever did was "AAAGHHH! RIPLEYYY! AAAGHHH!" Her character was so pointless. When she got caught by a Xenomorph, I was so relieved and thought to myself "THANK GOD! Now I never have to worry about hearing her annoying ass scream again!" But no, there's a rule that you can't have kids killed in movies. 😒

Why Assembly Cut of Alien 3 is better than Alien: ResERECTION:

Alien: ResERECTION is not even a horror film, it's more of an action comedy film. It's just stupid. The movie tries to be "funny" and "cool" at times but comes off awkward and lame instead. That scene where a Xenomorph bites a guy in the back of his head and the guy took a piece of his brain from the back of his head and looked at that piece... so dumb.

Not to mention, the Xenomorphs in this film looked dumb with their underbites. And that Xenomorph/Human hybrid looked like fvcking S H I T! Holy fvcking moly, what the Hell was HR Giger thinking at that time? You don't get to see the Queen Alien fight or kill anyone in this film cuz it gets killed by that ugly ass Xenomorph/Human hybrid baby quickly.

Don't like my opinion? Suck my dick.

[–] bluersun 7 years ago

I'd have to agree with you there, much prefer the bleakness and nihilism of A1 and A3:AC over Aliens and it's wimp bugs, although I don't hate Aliens, it goes without saying A:R can touch a shít.